


Forget Me Not

by mindramblings



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2020-01-06 16:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindramblings/pseuds/mindramblings
Summary: Felicity was presumed dead after The Gambit was shipwrecked and she went missing. As the one year anniversary of her death approaches, a miracle happens and she is found.Just when Oliver thinks the universe has given them a second chance, he learns Felicity barely remembers him and the memories of their love together are gone entirely.Oliver and Felicity’s journey after they reunite prove to be a tough road ahead, and then they learn that Felicity’s accident may have had a more sinister motive behind it.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I just can't seem to stay away from angsty subjects. The opposite of what we need especially considering our couple is coming to an end in real life. BUT, here I am with a new trope to attempt. I've done angst in the past, but this one may be the most emotional driven one.
> 
> Special thank you to LizParker for helping me get this first chapter complete. And a thank you to 1-crazy-dreamer for the gif-set included in this chapter.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

_Lazy kisses. Those were Felicity's favorite. Lazy kisses after sex, more specifically, were her favorite. Those gentle yet passionate caresses when Oliver's lips never seemed to tire of the feel of her. Both of their bodies would be spent, their exhausted pants filling the room, bodies attached to one another with beads of sweet clinging to their warm and sleek skin, chasing the sweetest high together._

_Even long after, Oliver would still trail his lips across Felicity's body, peppering kisses against her skin until exhaustion finally got the best of him, letting his exhausted body flop onto the bed next to hers._

_"I love you, Mrs. Queen," Oliver sighed in contentment, staring up at the ceiling._

_"I love you, Mr. Queen," she replied with a giggle and turning on the bed to press a quick kiss against his cheek._

_Felicity threw the covers off of her naked body and grabbed her rose gold silk robe, slipping it over her smooth skin. She tied it loosely around her figure as she walked over to the bar._

_"It's Smoak-Queen, by the way," she cheekily threw over her shoulder with a wink. She decided to hyphenate for business purposes. Even if she was getting married, she still wanted her professional work to carry that Smoak name along the way. Especially now, that she was finally starting her own business._

_Oliver sat up, the sheet covering him falling around his waist. "When we’re making love, you're Mrs. Queen," he joked good-naturedly. "It's been that way for me long before you said I do."_

_"Mrs. Queen," she dreamily repeated to herself. Pulling a bottle of wine out of the ice bucket, she poured herself half a glass. "I don't think I will ever tire of being called that."_

_Felicity took a small sip of her wine, savoring the taste._ _As she held the glass up to her lips, her eye caught a sharp sparkle against her skin, the sight of her wedding band still surprising and utterly new. Felicity switched her glass to her other hand so she could admire her gorgeous diamond even better._

_It was a simple yet stunning ring set. Her engagement ring was a simple yet elegant princess cut diamond with a white gold finish. The accessorizing wedding band was of a simpler design, smooth gold with smaller diamonds embedded around it. Her hand was noticeably heavier now, but it was a weight that she happily welcomed._

_After three years of dating, Felicity and Oliver finally tied the knot, officially legalizing what they had both known for quite some time. They were it for one another, already knowing there was simply no one else out there for either of them. So they took the next step and stood in front of family and friends, vowing to love one another until death do them part, so the journey to the rest of their lives together could finally begin._

_First thing to celebrate the occasion, though, was their honeymoon. The more adventurous choices were somewhat limited, since Felicity was terrified of heights as well as flying, so in the end, they decided to take The Queen's Gambit for a nice, long sail across the deep blue waters, away from their hectic everyday lives._

_Despite Oliver's teasing about her choice, he happily agreed to take a honeymoon on board of the Queen's Gambit with his new bride. It would give them more time to spend alone together, cherishing each other’s company unlimitedly, away from the prying eyes of the public and paparazzi. For almost a month, they would relax together, just the two of them, before they would have to return to the real world. He had an upcoming baseball season to prepare for and Felicity was close to cutting the ribbon on her company, Smoak Technologies, so life was getting crazy. It would be quite the busy season for the both of them and time to spend together would be sparse._

_But not yet. They had a whole month to spend lost in each other. There would be no professional obligations, no family responsibilities, no fans demanding attention or paparazzi flashing their cameras into their faces, trying to catch a glimpse of Star City’s golden couple. Just the two of them, salty water and scalding sun with sea breeze ruffling their hair. They’d spend their days lazing around the deck, getting a tan while massaging each other with sunscreen in between trading hot kisses, reading books and magazines, their evenings spent stargazing with their backs against the woody deck still warm from the evening sun. Perfect days only to be followed by even greater nights spent by plenty of unhurried, languid love-making against the soft waves rocking the boat. It would be true bliss._

_"Want some?" Felicity held the bottle up._

_"No, I'm good," he declined._

_Felicity looked back at him, catching Oliver's greedy and starving eyes roaming her figure from head to toe. Blushing profusely, she turned back around. It never ceased to amaze her how she could still blush and melt at the way Oliver looked at her as if she hung the moon._

_"We should probably eat something before we exhaust ourselves again," she suggested, a note of playful warning in her voice._

_Oliver reluctantly got out of the bed and pulled his pants on. "You're right. I'm actually starving,” he murmured, walking up behind Felicity and wrapping his arms around her waist. He pushed her hair off her neck with his nose, and inhaled her scent, nuzzling the soft, warm skin he found there. His lips brushed across her neck, peppering kisses against the spot that always made her melt in his arms._

_"Starving for food or other things?" Felicity asked him mischievously._

_"Both," he whispered and continued to ravish her neck, eliciting bubbly giggles from his wife. Encouraged, Oliver slid his hand inside her robe, gliding his fingers down the slope of her smooth stomach._

_Felicity's head rolled back against Oliver, his touches and kisses sending chills through her still warm and exhausted body. She drained the liquid in her glass in one quick gulp._

_"The other thing is way more appetizing though," Oliver whispered. He plucked the glass from Felicity’s fingers and sat it down on their cabin’s table. He turned her around in his arms taking her arms and draping them over his neck._

_"I think we should really get something to eat," Felicity said as Oliver kissed her slipping his tongue between her lips._

_The cabin was surprisingly dark in the late afternoon, a quiet storm brewing in the background for the last hour, which only seemed to be growing stronger by the minute. The boat began jostling along the waters, rougher than before, jolting them apart. Felicity pulled away, her hands gripping Oliver’s shoulders as she felt a nervous energy enter the pit of her belly. She looked around the rocking space, the empty wine glass she’s been holding a minute ago sliding over the surface of the table, unable to mask the slight panic entering her eyes._

_"Hey," he called to her quietly. Meeting her eyes, he squeezed her hands and kissed her forehead, trying to keep her calm._

_Another couple of minutes went by, but the storm only worsened, and Oliver could feel Felicity’s nervousness growing into steady fear. A few moments later, and there was sudden complete silence. It felt like all the movement ceased, the storm, the sea, the boat._

_It was an eerie silence, though._

_"We must've entered the eye of the storm," Oliver said, trying to instill calmness into his voice to offer Felicity comfort. He walked to the other side of the cabin to take a peek out of the window, when the boat suddenly rocked. Harping on the knowledge his dad instilled in him about boats and sailing, Oliver took a calming breath, offering Felicity a reassuring smile._

_"We'll probably be in it for a little while. It shouldn't be anything major, though."_

_Just as he closed the curtains to hide the evidence of the bad weather outside and stepped away from the window, it felt as if something brushed against the side of the boat, jerking the ground from underneath him. He barely stood his ground. A couple of feet away, Felicity wasn’t as successful and he heard her fall to the ground from the commotion._

_"I'm fine," she quickly called out to him as she struggled to stand back up, but before she could regain her footing, the boat jerked again, this time from a clear hit from the other side as something crashed against the side of the boat._

_The movement sent Felicity violently flying against the dresser, her head colliding against its corner with a sickening crunch and her eyes immediately fell shut._

_“Felicity!” Oliver cried in panic._

_The whole boat was now rocking violently, things and objects in the room tossed from side to side and tearing the room apart, smashing against the furniture and wracking havoc. It was just a moment, a fraction of a second, before Oliver was knocked off of his feet as well, but even on the ground, he fought to claw and crawl his way over to where Felicity was lying on the ground._

_With horror, he watched as water began rushing into the boat through a huge gaping hole that just appeared out of nowhere in the side of the boat. Panic raced through Oliver's veins for real, now, fear seizing his lungs as he desperately tried to eat away the space separating him from his wife. Around him, the boat continued to be shredded into pieces, but his heart as well as mind were racing with thoughts of survival, his thoughts scattered all over the place with not just the thought of his and Felicity’s lives hanging in the balance, but also the lives of other crew members, who were probably fighting for their lives at the very moment._

_Oliver fought against the rocking boat, trying to distinguish ups from downs while all the same trying with all his might to get to Felicity’s still frame, now being tossed like a rag doll throughout the cabin._

_"No, no, no, no," he repeated when he finally managed to come close enough to see Felicity was knocked unconscious. When he reached Felicity, he could see blood staining her blonde hair and trickling down, staining the satin of her robe. "I got you, baby," he whispered reassuringly as he cradled her in his arms._

_Oliver pressed a finger to her neck, elated to feel a soft pulse despite her state. "Just hang on," he murmured, his own pulse spiking through the roof with dear. He held her close to his body, pressing desperate kisses against her forehead. "Just hold on, sweetheart."_

_Oliver pulled a shaky hand away from Felicity's head, crippling fear shooting through his chest at the sight of his fingers now coated in his wife's blood. He looked around frantically to see if anything was within his reach to press against her wound, but the room was a mess. He just needed her to hold on until they could get to help. Quietness ensued for a moment, and then the loudest sound rang out with a violent crash ramming into the boat. It sent him flying backwards, making him lose his grip on his wife._

_Oliver was thrown into a heavy wooden chest nailed down against the far wall, hitting his back so hard it sent searing pain through his entire body. Ignoring the blinding pain, he willed himself to keep his eyes open, searching for his wife’s unconscious body despite being nearly paralyzed from the excruciating pain. It took him a moment, and finally, finally his frantic eyes found her, landing on her still unmoving frame, shuffled against the very far wall of the cabin. He rises his hand, reaching for her despite the seemingly insurmountable space between them. That’s when the huge wave comes, engulfing her body and washing her away._

_"Felicity!" Oliver yelled Felicity's name as loud as he ever yelled before, but it was no match to the roar of the angry ocean. He could only look helplessly, utter terror seizing her, as her figure was carried away by the forceful waves before his vision went completely black._

* * *

 

 

  

  

  

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

> “I think this is the best use for something live." Oliver held the camera directly on his face as his eyes squinted from the bright sun shining down on him. Viewers were logging on as he went on, anxious to see why their favorite player decided to go live after a practice.
> 
> "Say hello," Oliver sing-sang, pivoting the camera a bit so Felicity could lean in, showing her full face.
> 
> "Hi guys," she said, waving a little as she smiled into the camera.
> 
> Oliver had been so nervous the entire day. He and Felicity finally decided to go public, letting the world know they were a couple. Up until that moment, it hadn't been confirmed by either of them. They both decided to keep their relationship as quiet as possible, enjoying the luxury of exploring their fresh relationship in private.
> 
> Due to his last name and his career as a professional baseball player, Oliver was fairly used to the high profile lifestyle, the constant attention of camera lenses and noisy reporters whenever he went, whatever he did, professionally as well as privately. Felicity, however, was rather shy, feeling more comfortable living a calm and normal life away from the cameras. He wanted to give her at least that. So they attempted to keep their relationship out of the spotlight for as long as they possibly could, until they were both comfortable enough in their relationship to be ready to face the media circus once they made their commitment officially known.
> 
> Despite having been spotted out together on a couple of occasions by paparazzi, which ultimately led to some rumors circulating, Oliver and Felicity had decided to keep their relationship quiet for a little while.
> 
> Now, as he finally let the world know, Oliver could see comments popping up on the screen one after another.
> 
> Making a simple and short social media post seemed like a good idea, definitely appropriate for this time and age. Nothing elaborate, just keep it simple. He ran the suggestion by Thea, who decided that being his little sister was not enough, so she also felt the need to masquerade as his publicist. She was the sole reason he had a Facebook, Twitter and whatever Instagram was in the first place. He had to give his sister credit though, after a while and more than a few clumsy attempts, he actually enjoyed interacting with his fans, so when push came to shove, he figured that combining the two worlds would be the best approach.
> 
> Still holding the camera, Oliver told Felicity to go stand in front of it as he tossed a small package at her, one she excitedly caught out of the air, before he switched the camera so it could get a full view of his girlfriend.
> 
> "So," he began. "It was someone's birthday recently and with me being the great boyfriend that I am, I'm still getting her gifts to go with the countless other presents she already has. This is a special edition though, I might add, so it’s much better than the others."
> 
> "I don't know," Felicity said with an easy smile. "You’ve got me some pretty great ones already." She ripped open the package open and what fell out was a piece of clothing suspiciously looking like a jersey. She immediately went into a fit of giggles, her hand curling around the piece of fabric.
> 
> "Is this what I think it is?" she asked. Her eyes widened as she hurriedly tossed the plastic wrap aside before catching herself. "I promise I'm going to get that up. Always protect the environment guys," she yelled at the camera with the most adorable smile.
> 
> Taking a moment to examine the jersey, she cradled the Blue Jays jersey to her chest as she looked back at Oliver with a bashful smile. "Awww, thank you. He's so sweet to me, you guys." She beamed into the camera before slipping her arms through the sleeves of the shirt, buttoning the jersey up her chest. Turning her back to Oliver, she pointed with her thumbs at her last name printed across the top along with Oliver's number 14 in bold letters.
> 
> "It looks good on you," Oliver said in quiet appreciation.
> 
> Felicity examined how the jersey fell just around her thighs, falling ridiculously long across her petite figure. "I'll wear it like a dress," she threw across her shoulder nonchalantly. "I know you'll like that, especially at night,” she smirked, winking at him, well, tried to wink at him. Winking was one of the very few things Felicity Smoak could just not pull off, no matter how often she tried.
> 
> Completely oblivious to the innuendo that left her lips, Felicity returned to the camera and stepped back next to Oliver who was just glancing back to the camera with an amused grin.
> 
> "What?” she looked at him in confusion.
> 
> It took a couple more seconds and then she realized just exactly what she had said, insinuated, out loud in a live fan video no less.
> 
> "Oh my gosh I totally forgot this is live!" Felicity lamented, throwing her hand across her mouth. Her cheeks flushed a deep red instantly. "Oliver," she called out in a horrified shriek from behind her fingers, still trying to hide her face.
> 
> He couldn’t hold his amusement any longer. Laughing out hysterically, Oliver kept the camera on Felicity's horrified expression until she reached out, pushing his hand away while simultaneously pressed her face into the crook of his arm, hiding from the camera.
> 
> "You can't keep a live camera on me for too long, something inappropriate is bound to slip out. You know this," she reprimanded half-heartedly.
> 
> Oliver looked back to the phone where the comments were coming in even faster now. He was glad to see they were all in good spirits, ranging from people saying they knew they were sure they were dating, that Felicity was cute and entertaining, to people proclaiming his gestures were sweet.
> 
> "They like you," he said still laughing.
> 
> "I'm just going to go," she said. "Thank you for my gift and I will see you later." Felicity pressed a quick kiss to Oliver's lips and walking away, she made a point to gather the torn materials from the ground.
> 
> "See you later baby," he called after her. Turning the camera to himself, he let out another laugh. "That was Felicity Smoak, ladies and gentlemen," he grinned.
> 
>  

As the old video played on the plasma television mounted on Oliver's wall, he closed the refrigerator door with his foot. In his hand, he cradled a six pack of beer. Walking over to the counter, Oliver shoved piles of trash to the side locating the bottle opener. He popped the top of one of the beers and immediately drank half of the can.

Grabbing the case of beer, Oliver moved into the living room just as he heard Felicity's laughter come from the television screen. Taking a seat on the sofa, Oliver watched the rest of the video play out as he nursed the beer that was glued in his hand. Once it was over, he picked up his remote and pressed replay to watch the old video again.

~

John Diggle held his hand up to knock against the door when he stopped mid-air. There was no need to knock, he knew Oliver wouldn't open the door anyway. Slipping his hand back onto his pocket, he fished out his keychain. Finding the spare key that was given to him a long time ago, he slipped it inside the lock and turned the knob, pushing the door open.

Walking inside, John was met with a loft that looked as if a hoard of randy fraternity brothers had ransacked the place. The only light came from the living room, from where John could hear the television playing. The kitchen looked absolutely disgusting, as if it hadn't been cleaned in weeks. Old and partly uneaten food containers littered the complete surface of the island counter while dirty dishes piled high in the sink and any neighboring area.

Finally noticing his friend, John spotted Oliver sitting on the sofa, shrouded in darkness. A beer bottle dangled in his right hand as his left held the tv remote, an already half empty case of beer sitting at his feet. John hesitated before he spoke. He didn't want to come off too strong, but he also wanted Oliver to know that ignoring everyone's calls wasn't okay. They'd gone through this before, but John wanted to be gentle, especially considering the time of year.

"What do you need John," Oliver slurred without even turning to acknowledge his friend.

"I've been trying to reach you for the last 30 minutes, man."

Oliver glanced over to his phone sitting off to the side with numerous missed notifications. He brought the bottle up to his lips and took a long drawn out sip. "Didn't really feel like talking," he finally said, pulling the bottle away from his lips. "Or being talked to."

John slipped his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels, carefully picking his next words. "I get it, but we're all just worried about you, man," he said softly.

His parents, his sister, Tommy... they all had tried to reach Oliver, but to no avail. Everyone knew it was a sensitive time of year, so they tried not to be too pushy, but the inability to contact Oliver at all was more than worrisome. John was the one living closest by, so he offered to stop by and personally check in on Oliver.

"As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. You know where the door is and how to let yourself out."

A familiar voice on the television screen caught John's attention. Susan Williams sat in a chair addressing her huge crowd of flocking fans that greedily awaited whatever the latest gossip was that would fall from her lips.

‘I'm sure we can still all remember the story of Felicity Smoak-Queen’s disappearance on her honeymoon with Oliver Queen, which rocked Starling City almost a year ago…

Susan Williams was a vile reporter, and you had to go very loosely on the word reporter, who preyed on moments of weakness from celebrities. She had a nightly talk show that was nothing more than a neat for people who craved sensationalized gossip.

And after Felicity's disappearance, the unfortunate bride of the heir of Starling became a permanent topic on her show. Even before the accident, Felicity was the favorite subject of various rumor mills. But no one was more adamant about dragging her through the gossip mud than Susan William. God, the way she trash-talked about Felicity once it was finally revealed that her and Oliver were a romantically involved... it was insane! She insinuated many, many horrible and untrue things about Felicity. That went as far as to accuse her, without a shred of any evidence or foundation in reality – any reality – that Felicity was known for sleeping around to enhance her career, that she was a gold digger who unfortunately caught the eye of a beloved Starling darling, Oliver Queen. The last drop was when she stooped as low as suggesting that Felicity probably faked her own death as part of a publicity stunt to promote her own company.

As Susan’s voice grew louder in the background, John snatched the remote from Oliver's hand. He did it so roughly, it momentarily startled Oliver, causing the beer bottle slip through his lax fingers to the floor and spilling all over the carpet.

"What the hell, man?!" Oliver yelled, jumping up and finally turning to look at his friend. "What's your damn problem?"

John angrily cut the television off and threw the remote back down on the couch, fuming. "That's nothing but bullshit and I see no reason for you to be watching that crap.”

"Maybe I wanted to see what other stories she would pull out of her ass on this special occasion," Oliver retorted, feigning nonchalance but failing miserably, rocking unsteadily on his feet.

At last, John got a really good look at his friend. His scruff was much thicker and his hair was longer than he usually kept it. He was dressed in a plain shirt and sweats and John could only hope Oliver still possessed the presence of mind to pull up some underwear.

"We're all just worried about you, Oliver," uttered John gently, taking a tentative step towards Oliver like he was approaching a caged animal. He could see it all, all his friend’s misery, all those unshed, angry and devastated tears in his eyes.

"Listen, man. I know you're hurting. Even more so now with the date coming back around, but this isn't the way to cope," John said, trying to reason with Oliver for what felt light the millionth time. "When's the last time you got out of this place? I mean just out, just to get some fresh air."

Oliver stood quiet as his eyes drifted over to the framed picture of him and Felicity on a nearby cabinet. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and sniffed, trying to force the fresh tears away. He blinked at them furiously, fighting to keep them at bay, but they began to fall freely.

"Why her?" he keened, voice breaking as he bowed his head. "Why did I have to lose her? We didn't even get to have the start of the rest of our lives together."

Not long before the wedding, Oliver and Felicity spent one memorable Sunday afternoon simply lazing in bed discussing their hopes and dreams for the future, for where they saw themselves in a year, ten years, twenty years. The road seemed simple back then. Felicity would work hard and soon get her company running while Oliver continued his professional career until his joints would allow. They would enjoy their marriage, cherish their relationship, and somewhere down the road, there would have been kids. Plural. They discussed everything that afternoon, planned out their future to the last detain. Yet they got to experience none of it.

Oliver’s shoulders heaved and he let out a shuddering breath. "It was all gone in the blink of an eye."

It’s been almost a year and the pain still hadn’t lessened, was just as great as the moment Felicity was ripped from his arms. The same crippling ache and utter despair he felt once he woke up in the hospital immediately asking about his wife only to hear from his devastated parents that she was gone.

"Listen, man, you have to keep going. It's what she would've wanted. She wouldn't want you to fall apart like this. She wouldn't want you to..." Diggle fell silent at that, but it’s a wrong thing to do. When Oliver’s eyes raise to Diggle, the fury in them is scorching.

"She wouldn't want me to what? Huh, Digg," Oliver yelled. "How would you know? How could anyone possibly know?! She is not here to tell us. She is not here to tell me."

John placed a hand on Oliver's shoulder, trying to calm and comfort him, but Oliver pulled away violently, shaking his head as he stepped back.

"What do I have left, John?" Oliver continued. "I don't have Felicity. I don't have my best friend and my wife at my side. I don't even have baseball anymore." Oliver scrubbed his wet face and let out a humorless laugh. "You know, it’s ironic, she didn't even like baseball in the first place, but even so, I couldn't ever continue after she..."

Oliver drew his lips into a thin line, growing quiet. He could never bring himself to say the dreaded four letter word. Not in all of this time had he mentioned Felicity and the word dead together in one sentence. He couldn’t.

"Go to the mansion," John offered, trying to reason with him again. "Spend time with your family. Or you can come with me back to my place. Lyla and Sara would both love to have you over. Just... you shouldn't be alone." John knew it was tough every day, but with the anniversary approaching, the pain would be ten times worse.

Oliver dropped back down on the sofa running his hands through his messy hair. He gently shook his head and sighed. "Even if I'm around people, I still feel alone," he said solemnly.

John grabbed the remaining bottles of beer from the floor and walked over to Oliver's kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he switched the beers out for the lone bottle of water inside.

Coming back to the couch, John sat next Oliver and propped his legs up on the coffee table. Oliver looked over at him, confused and slightly annoyed at his blatant refusal to leave him the hell alone.

"You're staying, so am I staying," John simply said, shrugging. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. So if that means sitting in the dark staring at the wall, I am game.”" He handed Oliver the bottle of water. “Now, drink this to flush the alcohol out your system.".

Oliver turned away from his friend, but reluctantly took the bottle from Diggle and twisted it open.

Almost an hour later, Oliver and John were still sitting in the same spot. During the entire time, only a couple of words made it past their lips. A random action movie was playing on the screen in front of them, causing a nice backdrop to all the mindless staring they were doing.

It was finally John's ringing phone that interrupted the heavy silence. He fished it out of his pocket, Moira Queen’s name flashing on the screen, and he quickly answered the call with a respectful hello.

"Yes, he's still with me," John confirmed after Moira asked about her son’s whereabouts.

Listening quietly for a couple of moments, John suddenly shot up from the couch, his eyes widening impossibly as he almost dropped his phone. He clutched it tighter and pressed it closer to his ear, Moira's words still ringing inside his head, barely making any sense.

"Starling General," he repeated breathlessly. "Alright. Of course. We're on our way."

Oliver looked up as John ended the call, still in shock.

"What's going on?" he asked, only half-interested, but John wasn’t having Oliver’s blasé attitude right now. He roughly grabbed his arm, pulling him off the sofa and grabbing his shoulders for support, not wanting to waste a single moment to tell him the news.

"That was your mother, Oliver. Felicity- They’ve found Felicity! I don’t know what or how…” John let out a shocked, incredulous. chuckle. “But she's alive, Oliver. Felicity is alive!"

It took the longest of moments, but Oliver's eyes finally came back into focus, Diggle’s words finally registering. And then his knees grew weak, his heart setting a punishing rhythm in his chest, blood pounding in his ears. His knees buckled and he slid to ground, his fingers clutching for his chest.

"Oliver, breathe," John commanded in alarm, crouching down next to Oliver. "Just try to calm yourself down and breathe."

But Oliver's brain has already checked out, his mind instantly filling with flashes of Felicity, of the few precious moments they had together before it all went to hell. Everything, every single moment he held dear to his heart, from their first meeting to every important moment that came after. Their first kiss, the very first time they said I love you. Her soft yet confident smile as she said I do. All of it, up until the moment where she was pulled from his arms, the pain of losing her forever tearing a hole in his heart that never healed.

"She's alive," he stuttered, his breathing heavy. "She's truly alive?"

"Yes. ," John nodded, smiling enthusiastically. “It’s her, your mother swore she made sure,” Diggle clarified, dragging Oliver back to his feet.

Staggering in his place, it was no longer alcohol making the desperate man unstable, it was the hope. The impossible hope that had the power to remake him or destroy him.

Hope. He chose hope.

Throwing his arms around John, Oliver hugged his friend tightly. "My wife is alive. Oh God, John. She is alive," he whispered.

~

Oliver's feet carried him as fast as ever before. Even when he was sneaking a base, he had never moved this fast. Even John had struggled to keep up with him.

As soon as the elevator doors on the seventh floor opened up, he spilled from the cabin, John hot on his heels.

The corridor was empty, however, and Oliver run in desperate, crazy circles trying to locate someone, a nurse or an orderly, anyone who could point him in the right direction of Felicity’s room.

It was only on his third run up the hall when he finally spotted a familiar figure of his mother, talking on her phone at the far end. Taking off into a sprint, he ran towards her. Nearly at his mother’s side, Oliver passed a room and from the very corner of her eye, he saw a flash of blonde hair. The familiar streak made him immediately pause in his tracks, his neck swiveling to catch sight of the person it belonged to.

Even standing at the far end of the room by the window and with her back turned towards him, he immediately and with absolute certainly knew. it was her. Even from behind, covered in nothing but a flimsy hospital gown, he’d recognize his wife anywhere.

He took a deep breath, trying to brace himself for the reunion he had dreamed of so many times before. He placed his hand on the door and managed to push it slightly open when he heard his mother’s voice call from down the hall.

"No, Oliver, wait."

He glanced toward her, disbelieving what he heard and vehemently shook his head at her. "No. I've spent the whole damn year thinking this day would never come. I'm not waiting another moment."

He pushed the door open and stepped forward. The creaking of the door made Felicity turn around and face him. Light spilled from the window, bathing her beautiful, familiar features in soft light. It felt impossible, but she looked the same. Her hair was a bit messier, a bit longer. She was maybe a little thinner, her cheekbones more dominant that he was used to, but he’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

"Felicity," he breathed, his voice trembling, breaking on her name. Her name hadn't even completely left her lips before he was moving forward and before either knew what was happening, his arms were engulfing her in bone-crushing hug. Holding her close, he buried his face between her face and shoulder, inhaling her scent. He missed her. He’s missed just about everything about her. The soft feel of her, the familiar scent, the silkiness of her hair. He missed everything.

He could feel the tears slowly running down his cheeks as he held onto his wife for dear life., just standing there, face buried in her shoulder, giving himself the time to gather himself.

But even so, something was nudging at his consciousness, a persistent feeling that wouldn’t go, told him to take a step back and look again. So he did, and upon the sight, upon his realization, he felt fear fill his guts. Because Felicity hadn’t reciprocated his hug. Her body was tight and rigid, her eyes confused and unrecognizing. Her whole stance… she didn't acknowledge him in the slightest.

The person looking back at him wasn't his Felicity. She wasn’t even looking at him; it was as if she was looking straight through him. He didn't see a flicker of recognition in her eyes, at the sight of her husband, with whom she’s been reunited after a horrible year spend apart. Her forehead creased in silent regard and Oliver could immediately see her confusion as she tried to figure something out, thinking very hard.

"Felicity," he uttered her name again, his voice filling with unshed tears. He stepped closer again, but he was cautious now, keeping his voice calm as if he was encroaching a cornered animal. It cost he all he had, because inside, he was absolutely terrified about what was wrong.

"It's me," he said softly, his hand arrested in mid-air between them. "It’s Oliver."

"I know who you are, Mr. Queen," she slowly spoke, her face still crunched up in confusion. "I'm not trying to be rude here, excuse me, I'm just a little confused on why you're visiting me."

Just then he heard the sound of feet behind him entering the room. He looked back to see his mother looking pityingly at him, John close behind her, same grave look on his face.

Oliver turned back to Felicity, who had withdrawn into herself at the sight of Moira and John in the doorway, having taken a couple of steps away from them all.

"What do you mean," he asked her, a broken smile stretching across his face, his eyes beseeching her not to play such cruel games with him. "Are you confused? Is it the accident...?"

"I know I work for Queen Consolidated," she interrupted, sudden resolution playing across her face. "So, maybe, since I'm an employee… I thought… was it a work-related accident? I guess it was. I mean, that’d explain Mrs. Queen’s visiting me. But you, Mr. Queen… you don’t even work for the company. At least not that I know of? I don’t know… it’s kind of muddled in here,” she unhelpfully pointed to her head, slightly shaking it. “I am sorry, but have we met? Because I can’t recall to have had any prior interactions with you."

A doctor rushed in, pushing past Moira and John stepping between Oliver and Felicity, placing a calming hand on her arm. Even in his shocked state, Oliver could see Felicity take a relaxing breath at the sight of the doctor in the room, interrupting them.

"You should be in bed, Felicity," the doctor said as he began ushering her towards it.

Oliver stood motionless, frozen to the spot. He could hear Moira calling his name, but he couldn't respond. As Oliver’s eyes tracked Felicity’s every move, it was clear she did anything but meet his gaze.

"You don't remember me," he said, sudden realization hitting him straight in the chest. "You don't remember us," he questioned, more in general than anybody in particular. It was painfully clear.

"Sir, you shouldn't be in here right now," the doctor warned before glancing to Moira and John. "In fact, none of you should be in here. My patient has been through some intense trauma and she needs her rest. I'll speak with you all in a moment."

"Oliver..." Moira called his name once again.

Oliver ignored the doctor completely, his eyes still latched onto Felicity, sudden despair gripping him.

"You don't remember me? The guy you swore you wouldn't date in a million years," he asked Felicity, a small, hysterical laugh leaving his lips. "You don't remember the man who you stood at the alter with and vowing to love for the rest of your life?"

Felicity flinched at Oliver's words as his voice rose with each question. Her eyes widened at his last question as she looked scared, not only by his words, but by their intensity.

Just before Oliver moved towards Felicity's bed, John hurried forward, grabbed him from behind and wrapping his arms around him, holding him tightly and restricting his movements. Only then did Oliver realize he was shaking.

"Hey, man. Let's go out to the hallway, okay," he said quietly.

"You honestly don’t remember how much I love you?!"

Oliver struggled against John, but his friend was way too strong, managing to pull Oliver out of the room despite Oliver's attempts to make himself stay.

Moira closed the door behind them once they were all out in the hallway, not able to look her son straight in the eye. John still had Oliver pinned in his arms, trying to calm him down in the quiet hospital corridor.

"John?" Oliver said on a broken whisper, despair gripping his whole being as he looked back at his friend, looking for an anchor and an answer in his longtime friend.

John had always been able to give Oliver some kind of advice even when he didn't want it. He desperately needed him to do that for him now. Say something to make this right. Make the world made sense again.  
Only this time, John didn't have any words. He could only look at him as he tried to keep Oliver standing upright.

"She doesn't remember me," Oliver cried out, his knees finally giving out as he, for the second time that day, he crumbled to the floor, violent sobs ripping from his throat. "Oh, God. My wife doesn't remember me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts are always wanted and welcomed! They feed my soul and give me the encouragement to go on. XOXO!


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna shows up as the doctor gives her and Oliver Felicity's diagnosis. Felicity learns what happened to her. Oliver makes his first attempt to connect with this new Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you much for the warm response! You guys are always the best! 💋

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

_You don’t remember me? You don’t remember us_? The questions from a bewildered Oliver Queen rang over and over in Felicity’s mind. As she laid in the bed with the dramatic scene having played out mere moments before, she was speechless.

Her doctor, who so far had thankfully been very nice, pulled a stool next to her bed taking a seat. She momentarily pushed the thoughts out of her mind and turned her attention to him.

He rested his clipboard on the edge of her bed as he jotted a couple of things down into her chart. “Felicity, I’m going to ask you a couple of questions and I want you to answer them as best as you can.” His voice was low, but it was steady, calm and reassuring. “Okay?”

Felicity nodded nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

“What is the last thing you remember?”

That first question should’ve been easy, but instead she was struggling to form a coherent answer in her mind, and in turn she remained silent.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Felicity attempted to will an answer to her mind. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing. She remembered waking up in the hospital being attended to by various nurses and this doctor. Finally speaking, her words sputtered out broken up. “I don’t... I don’t know. I can’t really pinpoint anything definite,” she gnawed at her bottom lip again. Worry and panic began sweeping into her brain overwhelming her system.

“Alright, that’s okay. We can move on.” He attempted to ease her panic. “Where do you work?” he asked next.

“Queen Consolidated. In the IT department.”

Felicity kept her eyes on the doctor trying to see if she could read his face and maybe gauge his line of thinking. He would only glance back down to his notes making more marks before looking back up to her. Her heart was rapidly beating, increasing with each second the doctor spent not showing whether the questions were answered correctly or incorrectly. Maybe that was a sign of a good doctor to be unreadable, but Felicity selfishly and desperately needed just an ounce of reassurance.

“What year is it?”

Closing her eyes once more, Felicity gave herself a moment to think instead of blurting out the first answer that entered into her mind. Except, the one answer she came up with was the only answer she could think of.

With her eyes closed, she saw the new spacious apartment she signed a lease on. There was the promotion to junior IT specialist that she was proud to have received. A small corner office courtesy of her promotion to junior IT specialist. It was a small corner office, but it was still her very own office nonetheless. Her personal life might’ve been a little stale at the moment, but things were really looking up for her in other aspects.

Opening her eyes, she met her doctor’s as he patiently looked back at her. “2016,” she hopefully answered.

With baited breath, Felicity waited to hear a response. The doctor clipped his pen onto the clipboard and removed his glasses. He folded them carefully before slipping them into the breast pocket of his starched white coat. He scooted closer to the bed. Felicity didn’t think he could get any closer, but somehow he did. He placed his warm hand atop of hers that rested at her side.

“Felicity, I want you to remain as calm as possible,” he cautioned her.

She looked down to where the doctor’s hand now rested atop of hers at her side. It was warm, but his touch only sent chills through her bones and straight to her spine. That feeling along with his words had the exact opposite effect of calming her.

“Felicity, it’s 2019. You’ve been missing for a year and it seems as if you’ve forgotten the last three years of your life.”

His words felt like slaps in the face. Each word was another hard strike against her cheek. She knew something was wrong, but never imagined it would be something as extreme.

“What do you... How... I...” Felicity couldn’t form a coherent sentence. The words were lost on her tongue. This all had to be a bad dream. A literal nightmare. Tears assaulted her eyes and her throat grew heavy as if it was closing up.

" _You don't remember the man who you stood at the alter with and vowing to love for the rest of your life?"_

“Who is he,” she asked. “What is Oliver to me,” she asked more specifically.

“Your husband. You married Oliver Queen almost a year ago.”

Turning away from her doctor, she felt as if the slaps had returned. Looking up at the ceiling, she shook her head slightly in disbelief, the tears now spilling from her eyes traveling down her cheeks onto the hospital gown covering her now shaking frame.

Covering her face with her hands, she cried into her palms. “No, no, no,” she cried out. That was the only word she could utter that captured the feeling of her heart being ripped out.

~

Outside of Felicity’s hospital room and down the hall, Oliver was still reeling from what had transpired. John helped him to a bench where he was now sitting. His mother next to him with a comforting hand on his knee, squeezing it gently. John stood next to Oliver, his hand on his shoulder as if he was afraid to let him go. Neither were letting Oliver go and he didn’t want them to. He was almost afraid that if they removed their touch, he would crumble to the floor again.

Felicity, the woman who suddenly made everything right in his world, the girl who smiled at him fall more in love with her every day. She didn’t remember him. He never expected this to be the outcome when he was told she was alive.

The sobs had ceased from Oliver as he only stared straight ahead. His blue eyes were glossy and hard, with any hint of happiness they held moments before having his world ripped apart, now long gone. There was an eerie silence in the long hospital hallway. Besides the three of them, an orderly was the only person in the hallway with them. The middle aged woman simply diverted her eyes looking back to the charts in her hand and left them alone. Absolutely no words had been spoken by anyone in what felt like an eternity.

“Son, I’m so sorry.” Moira was the first to speak.

His mother’s apology barely registered with the many thoughts in his mind drowning out her words. Felicity didn’t remember him. His wife didn’t remember him. Her eyes held no recognition as she looked at him. Those blue eyes he would stare into as they laid in bed together during late nights were a cold unrecognizable pair. Almost as if he was looking into the eyes of a stranger.

The sound of a door opening jolted Oliver back to reality and he looked to see the doctor exiting Felicity’s room. He looked down the hall towards them as he closed the Felicity’s room door and began making his way over.

Once he was upon them, the doctor cleared his throat attempting to break the uncomfortable silence. Moira finally moved her hand and stood up facing him, but John stayed rooted to the floor next to Oliver, awaiting his friend’s move. He was his partner through and through, so he would let Oliver lead.

Oliver lifted his head slowly and looked at the doctor towering over him. His name tag was pinned on his starch white coat and he held the clipboard firmly in front of him.

The doctor pushed his glasses up on his nose with his forefinger and began to speak. “I would like to formally introduce myself,” he said. “I’m Dr...”

“Dr. Eddison,” Oliver interrupted.

He could see that from the name tag, so there was no need for him to introduce himself. Oliver had no time for pleasantries or introductions in a situation like this. He didn’t care about this doctor’s last name or exchanging handshakes.

“Can you tell me what the hell is going on?” The words tumbled out before he could stop them. He honestly didn’t want to stop them because the words swirling around inside of him were a lot harsher than what he said.

“Certainly.” Dr. Eddison gave Oliver an understanding nod. He showed no signs of being dismayed by Oliver abrupt rudeness. Being a doctor, you grew tough skin in dealing with patient families on the receiving end of difficult news. “May I sit,” he motioned towards the spot on the bench Moira vacated.

When Oliver didn’t respond, Moira ushered the doctor towards her former seat. He sat turning himself toward Oliver. Pushing his glasses up once more, Dr. Eddison sighed before beginning his slow explanation.

“The condensed version is that it seems as if Felicity is suffering from amnesia. She doesn’t remember the last three years. She thinks it’s 2016 where she’s still in a one-bedroom apartment with an entry level job at Queen Consolidated.”

Oliver’s resolve began to crumple with the doctor’s words. Wrapping his arms around himself, he rocked back and forth.

“She hit her head pretty bad before the water swept her away.” Oliver’s body began to tremble as he remembered holding a bleeding Felicity in his arms that fateful night. “I guess it makes sense, but where did she go and where has she been?”

“Only information we have is that she was in the hospital as a Jane Doe and she was found in a small community hospital on Lian Yu. The particulars, I don’t know. I just know once I received a call and was told who she was I knew to contact you.” He looked towards Moira, who he made sure to reach out to with the sensitive information firsthand. “I knew she needed to be transferred here immediately.”

“Is it permanent,” Oliver asked tentatively.

“We don’t know for sure right now,” he answered after a bit of hesitation. “The fact that she hasn’t lost all of her memories gives me some hope that it isn’t. We will still need to run more tests however.”

Oliver was struggling to wrap his mind around the news and digest it. “I just don’t understand how she was alive this entire time, and no one knew.” He thought of his wife somewhere alone, confused and silently suffering with no help. “She was out there, alone and...” Oliver’s voice faltered as the emotions caught in his throat once more. He hung his head as John squeezed his shoulder.

“Maybe she didn’t remember who she was and only recently remembered that she was at least Felicity Smoak and that’s what led her here.” The doctor’s voice wavered with his heart going out to Oliver. “Listen,” he said calmly. “What matters most right now is that she’s alive. She’s back and she’s safe. Hold on to that. That’s what’s most important.”

Oliver stood up wiping his face. “I need to call her mother. I don’t want her to find out from anyone else, especially not the tabloids.”

Donna didn’t deserve to find out her daughter was alive from someone who was only looking to make a buck off of her name. And considering the sensitivity of the situation with Felicity’s memory, Oliver didn’t want Donna to be blindsided.

Moira nodded her understanding. “So far, the media hasn’t gotten wind of anything and I have our people working overtime to ensure that nothing leaks. Dr. Eddison understands the sensitivity we’re dealing with.”

As he fished his phone out of his pocket, Oliver reflected on his relationship with Donna. She fell in love with him instantly, something that Oliver would always brag about to Felicity. They became close on their own right, Donna becoming like a second mother to him almost. He hadn’t talked to Donna in some months. They used to communicate regularly after Felicity went missing. Oliver when visited her on some occasions when he wanted to bask in Felicity’s memory. It was an attempt to keep each other from spiraling too deep. But recently with the anniversary approaching and Oliver becoming a recluse, the communication dwindled down.

He turned to where his mother now sat beside  
the doctor talking quietly about the staff and insurances on keeping anything from leaking.

“Excuse me,” Oliver interrupted garnering the doctor’s attention. “I think... I want to wait until Felicity’s mother gets her to discuss where she goes from here health-wise. She should be here to hear it and we can do it together,” he said.

Dr. Eddison stood with a nod. “Certainly. I’ll follow your lead. While you take care of that, I’ll go and check on Felicity once more.”

* * *

The sound of elevator doors opening made Oliver look up just in time to see Donna Smoak emerge from it. She turned and spotted him and sped her walk up until she was practically running down the hallway.

Donna wore a simple tracksuit and tennis shoes covered her feet. Her face was completely bare and her hair messily fell down past her shoulders. If you knew Donna Smoak, you knew that she never stepped outside without the finest threads on and her makeup as well as her hair was always flawless.

Her appearance perfectly captured the predicament they were currently dealing with.

Oliver motioned for Thea, whose arms had been wrapped around him in comfort, to let him go. She hadn’t left his side since she arrived with her boyfriend Roy, who stayed in the waiting room, a couple hours ago. Moira and John had gone in the search of coffee. Oliver didn’t need any caffeine; he was running on pure emotion.

Donna immediately pulled Oliver into a hug once she reached him. Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him tightly running her hands across his back in soothing movements. She pulled back and cradled his face in her hands. A move that became a signature staple of their relationship from the  
moment he began dating Felicity.

“It’s going to be alright, son.” Her name of endearment she always called him and her warm embraces instantly made the tears spill from Oliver’s eyes as Donna tried to quietly shush him.

“I’m so sorry,” he began repeating over and over. “I’m sorry...” His shoulders slumped as his head bowed with the sobs spilling from him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her.”

“Hey.” She shushed him once more. “Listen to me.” Gripping his face again, she forced him to look in her eyes that she kept firm. Donna knew Oliver had always been fiercely protective of Felicity, even from the very beginning of their relationship. It was one of the things Donna loved about him. She was so happy that her daughter found someone like Oliver. Felicity was always afraid that she would end up with a guy like her father, but Oliver was the exact opposite. “You have nothing to be apologize for. Nothing,” she said. “This wasn’t in your control Oliver.”

Oliver nodded wiping his eyes desperately trying to will away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. He finally managed to get himself under control a bit when Donna inquired about Felicity.

“How is she doing,” Donna asked.

Oliver had only given Donna a few details on the phone; all of the most important ones. He felt it would be best to leave the heavy information for the doctor to relay.

“She’s fine physically,” he said. He actually hadn’t seen Felicity since he was pulled from her room earlier. He didn’t know what to do and how to act so he stayed away. “She’s uh...she’s in her room. Sleeping. They had to give her a sedative to calm her down. She didn’t take the news very well.”

Taking a moment to finally breath, Donna let out a heavy sigh as she rested her hand against her stomach. The uneasy feeling was permanently set deep in the pit of her stomach since the moment Oliver called her.

Oliver was helping Donna over to a bench to sit for a moment when Dr. Eddison emerged from around a corner. He walked up to the both of them wearing the same warm smile he’d given Oliver earlier.

Dr. Eddison, who’s first name was Silas, was an older doctor, looked to be in his late 40s. His rich caramel skin contrasted the jet black coily curls cropped close his head. His smile matched his spirit. He handled Felicity with extreme care.

Oliver might not have vocally made it known, but he was thankful this doctor was kind, patient and understanding. If he had to deal with someone who was an asshole on top of everything else gone, Oliver certainly would’ve lost it.

“Dr. Eddison, this is Felicity’s mother Donna Smoak.”

“Pleased to meet you,” he said as he shook her hand. “I do wish it was under better circumstances though.” He directed them towards an empty room. “Would you all like to go in here where we could talk more quietly?”

Oliver followed Donna and Dr. Eddison into the room. He sat to a table as Donna sat across from him. Oliver stood with his arms folded across his chest.

“What’s happening with my daughter,” Donna asked immediately as she sat down.

He clasped his hands together dropping them atop of the table. “Felicity seems to be suffering from retrograde amnesia,” he began. “Amnesia that is brought upon by an injury,” he explained. Donna and Oliver both nodded knowing that Felicity hitting her head was more than likely the cause.

“But why is it just three years,” Donna asked. “Why not more?”

Oliver silently echoed Donna’s questioning. Why was it three years? Why did it have to be the time they shared together? It felt like he was being punished for something he did t know he’d done.

“That’s the tricky thing with amnesia and brain injuries. Even with how far we’ve come in research and advancements, there’s still so much we don’t know.”

Oliver grabbed a stool and sat down next to Donna. She reached out and grabbed his hand bringing it into her lap with a squeeze. Oliver nodded towards Dr. Eddison letting him know he could continue.

“With retrograde amnesia,” Dr. Eddison began again. “You forget things during a certain period, but you do retain your procedural memory, which are tasks you perform frequently. For instance, Felicity still will have her knowledge of technology and working with computers. Anything she learned prior to those three years, she can still do.”

“So, Felicity doesn’t remember me, our relationship, her company or anything after 2016.” The defeat was palpable in Oliver’s voice. “I mean even her knowledge of technology grew in those three years,” he said. “The things she learned and amassed to put forth with her company...” He ran his hand through his hair letting out a deep and frustrated sigh.

“I understand your frustrations,” Dr. Eddison said. “And again, I’m sorry for that.”

“Do we know if she will get her memories back,” Donna asked.

“The fact that it’s such a short time gives me hope that she will regain her memories. I don’t want to say for sure, I want to refrain from giving false claims.” He looked down toward his notes seeing the name of a specialist he was looking into for Felicity.

“I will consult with a specialist and exhaust every option for Felicity. I will do everything that I can for her.” He looked to both Oliver and Donna emphasizing his words. “I promise both of you that.”

In the ajar door, a nurse quietly peeked her head in. “Excuse me, but Felicity is awake now,” she told them.

She moved to go to her station, but Oliver quickly stood up and called out stopping her. “Excuse me miss,” he said. “But is she okay? I mean...” He wanted to know if she had calmed down from earlier.

“She’s doing fine,” she answered. “It was only a mild sedative. Think of it as a mild sleeping aid. That’s all.”

Dr. Eddison echoed the nurse’s sentiments reassuring both Donna and Oliver that the sleeping aid would have no lasting effects on Felicity.

“Okay.” Oliver nodded quietly, seemingly accepting the answer he was given. He just wanted to make sure she didn’t go through anything too extreme that would cause more unnecessary confusion.

Dr. Eddison stood up. “The both of you should go see her,” he told them. “Just remember to keep in mind that Felicity’s dealing with a lot of confusion.” With those final words he left them in the room making his way down the long hallway.

Donna pulled Oliver into another hug. She kissed his wet cheek softly and wiped away the evidence of tears from that same cheek. “It’s going to be okay.”

“You should go first,” Oliver told Donna. He managed to smile through the tears and the ripping feeling he felt inside. “Go see your daughter,” he told Donna.

Felicity still remembered her mother, and even if she didn’t remember him, he was glad of that. Donna had already dealt with the pain of losing her daughter, despite the aching in his heart, he was happy that she didn’t have to feel what he was currently feeling. They still had each other.

“I haven’t told her about the accident or how everything happened. I figured it would be best coming from someone she still knows and trusts.”

Donna patted Oliver’s cheek. “Okay dear. I’ll tell her everything as best as I can.”

~

Felicity rested on her side, hand tucked underneath her head as her mind raced. She stared at the white wall feeling almost as if she was in the mental hospital. She felt trapped. Here she laid with no memories of the last three years, and what seemed to be the most important and formidable years of her life. She was now 28, not 25. And she was someone’s wife. That was the main fact she couldn’t wrap her mind around.

The sound of her room door opening made her pause her thoughts. Maybe the doctor was returning to run tests or talk some more. Talking really wasn’t something she wanted to do right now. thoughts pause.

“Sweetie,” the voice called out.

Felicity’s ears instantly perked up at the sound. It was the first sound of someone she recognized immediately. Only one person called her sweetie and it was her mother.

“Mom?” She immediately turned around by and when she saw her Donna, her face immediately lit up. “Mom!”

Felicity sat up as Donna practically ran to her bed. They collided into a desperate clinging hug. Felicity’s arm wrapped around her mother so it was almost as if she was hugging herself.

“My beautiful baby girl,” Donna said through tears. She brushed her hands across Felicity’s face. “You’re here,” she cried.

Memories flashed one after the other in Donna’s mind. The moment she learned Felicity was missing. Struggling with accepting that her daughter was dead. Trying to keep Oliver afloat while practically drowning in sorrow herself. Now to have her daughter in her arms again. She pressed wet kisses against her cheek, her forehead and then back to her wet cheek again. Running her hands over her face, Donna couldn’t stop touching her to make sure she was real.

“I don’t remember,” Felicity cried out through tears. “I don’t... There’s so much I don’t remember.”

“Hey,” Donna shushed her pulling her into another hug. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You’re okay and you’re safe now.”

Felicity leaned into her mother letting her arms practically cocoon her. She cried in her mother’s arms as the weight of everything took its toll on her. “Mom, I can’t remember him. I can’t remember my husband,” she cried. “And I don’t know who I am.”

“You’re Felicity,” Donna sternly said. “You’re my beautiful and brilliant daughter, who is loved by not only me, but so many people.”

Felicity sat up wiping at her face and nose with the back of her hand. “What happened to me,” she questioned. “No one has told me what really happened.”

Donna sat more comfortably in the bed. Grabbing Felicity’s hands, she caressed her skin softly as she spoke calmly.

“You and Oliver were in an accident during your honeymoon. The both of you decided to take your honeymoon on a boat instead of flying.”

“Because I’m afraid of heights,” Felicity said. “So, it was my decision?”

Donna could hear the accusatory tone Felicity was taking of herself. “Don’t do that,” Donna said. “Don’t go blaming yourself.”

“But it was my idea, I’m sure of it even if I can’t remember it,” Felicity said.

“Do not blame yourself,” Donna said squeezing her hand. “You and Oliver made the decision together like you did regarding so many other things. No one is to blame.”

“What else happened?”

“The two of you ran into a violent storm, it tore the boat apart eventually separating you and Oliver. He washed up on a shore, but we couldn’t find you.”

Felicity lifted her hand up to her head where there was now a small scar she didn’t remember now located at her temple. “I must’ve hit my head,” she mumbled to herself.

Donna pushed Felicity’s hair behind her ear taking a look at the scar. “Yeah, Oliver said you did before you were separated.”

“I woke up with a new scar and also improved eyesight without glasses.”

“You grew tired of switching between contacts and glasses. That combined with so much computer use, you decided on Lasik eye surgery.”

“I gathered as much,” Felicity sighed. “Figures it couldn’t be a miracle, I probably used up my one miraculous card with surviving a boat crash.”

She quieted and took a look around at her predicament. There was the question of where to go from here? At least in the hospital, she knew there was a routine to follow. Outside the hospital walls is what frightened her the most.

“What happens now?” Her voice was unsure mirroring how lost she felt. “What do I do now?” Tears fell from her cheeks as she blinked. The unknown awaited her and the unknown frightened her.

“You keep going sweetie. You move forward. The universe has given you another chance and despite what has happened, you still have a lot of life left to live.”

Donna pulled Felicity forward pressing a kiss against her forehead. “You’re not alone and you have people who will help you.” Donna held her daughter in her arms caressing her hair and rocking her gently as Felicity softly cried. 

~

 Moira had gone home to handle the media circus that thankfully had yet to brew, but she wanted to prepare and jump ahead of it when the time came.

Oliver convinced John to go home considering he’d been with him the entire day. He had his own family, a child and pregnant wife at home.

Thea lingered around refusing to leave his side except once at Oliver’s request. Even Roy still lingered around the hospital waiting on his girlfriend’s next command. As she sat beside him trying to helplessly take his mind off the situation at hand, she gave up entirely. “How are you holding up,” Thea asked Oliver.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I really don’t know.”

“We’re all here for you Ollie. Whatever it is that you need.”

“I want you to let Roy take you home, there’s no need to hang around here.”

“You sure,” Thea questioned.

Oliver nodded and hugged his sister. “Yeah. Thanks for everything.”

Thea pressed her lips against Oliver’s cheek kissing him before she left. Oliver walked back down the hall toward Felicity’s room just as Donna emerged from it.

“Is she alright,” he asked.

Donna nodded and closed the door behind her. “She’s fine. Still confused and trying to make peace with things. It’s going to take some time.”

Oliver glanced at the closed door desperately wanting to go in the room and just hold Felicity. Hold her in his arms and see if he could will her memories to return.

“I got her back, but it’s not her,” he choked out. “The way she looked at me...” The words caught in his throat as he shook his head.

Donna stood in front of Oliver gripping his hands. “It is her. She’s a little different now, but it’s her.”

“And there’s a good chance this new her may be our new reality,” Oliver whispered.

“Go see her. Try to talk to her even if it’s just for a second. If there is anyone that can get through this, it’s the two of you,” Donna encouraged Oliver. “I know how much you love my daughter and I’ve never doubted it. I wouldn’t start now. She’ll appreciate it even if she doesn’t verbally say so right now.”

~

Oliver gently knocked and peeked his head into Felicity’s room through the ajar door. “Come in,” she called out.

“It’s just Oliver,” he said. Walking into the room. Felicity now sat up in the bed, her hair was brushed back and pulled into a tight ponytail. Reminiscent of the style she wore when he first met her.

“The nurse managed to scrounge up some resemblance of an outfit for me.” She looked down at the loose scrub top and too big scrub bottoms that she tied with a rubber band around her waist. This was still better than the dreary thin hospital gown. “It’s the thought that counts right?” She laughed lightly and some of the awkward tension slipped out of the room.

Oliver let out a small laugh. Felicity making a joke right now was in character, so he was happy to see that part of her still there. At his side, he held an overstuffed bag. “Speaking of clothing, I had Speedy..." Oliver paused remembering that Felicity didn’t know who that was. She didn’t become Speedy to Felicity until sometime after they began dating. “I had Thea, my sister grab you some clothes and other necessities. So, here you go.”

“I remember Thea...“ Oliver’s eyes widened and Felicity realized her phrase made it seem like she actually remembered Thea. She didn’t remember her; she just knew there was a daughter in the Queen family. It was public knowledge. “I remember there being another Queen child,” she clarified. Oliver’s eyes fell immediately and she felt horrible that she had even opened her mouth.

Walking over to her bed, Oliver placed the bag down on it. His hand lingered on the straps for a moment as Felicity reached out for the bag.

Her hand brushed against his and she snatched it back abruptly cradling it to her chest. Her face went white as the touch sent a current of electricity through her. There was something familiar and warm about his touch, but the sudden feeling it gave her freaked her out. As Oliver pulled his hand back, Felicity got a chance to look at it before he stuffed it in his pocket. The wedding band was still secured on his finger. He kept it on all this time.

“Thank you,” she finally managed to say.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Were you hurt?” She asked as he turned back to her confused by the sudden question. “I mean in the accident,” she continued. “Were you hurt as well? From what my mother told me, I would assume so.”

“Oh.” Oliver stayed rooted towards the foot of Felicity’s bed. He wanted to sit, but instead he chose to keep standing. “Yeah, I had broken ribs and was pretty badly scratched up. I still have some of the scars to prove it.”

“Do you still play baseball,” she asked next.

“No,” he answered quietly. “I don’t actually.”

“Because of the injuries,” she inquired.

Oliver shook his head solemnly. “No. I uh...” His eyes fell to floor as he sniffed trying to keep his emotions from spilling it. “I didn’t go back after everything that happened.”

“Oh.” Felicity fell quiet.

Felicity suddenly felt so much worse at that answer. Oliver gave up his career because he was struggling with her presumed death and she couldn’t even remember him. It was only by luck that she remembered he was a baseball player. She didn’t follow sports, but it was known in Starling that the heir to the Queen family surprised everyone when he followed his heart by going for a career in professional sports instead.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Oliver shrugged her apology off. “It’s okay.” He sniffed once more and cleared his throat. “I know the doctor said that he wants to run a couple more tests before you’re finally released. I wanted to ask if you would like to come home?”

“Home,” she repeated.

“Yeah,” Oliver nodded. “I have a loft. You moved into it with me.”

Felicity moved in with Oliver after a year and a half of dating. After they were engaged, they discussed where they would stay after marrying. Instead of buying a home, they decided they would create their home together. Create it brick by brick. In the midst of all the changes going on, they weren’t able to make it far into the planning process. Discussions and tentative ideas had been made, but they were really going to start immediately after the honeymoon, but of course the accident happened. Oliver didn’t continue with the plans after; he went back to the loft and kept everything just the same. Felicity’s things were still there and hadn’t been touched since.

Oliver realized he’d stopped talking and got lost in the memories of when things were much simpler.

“Like I was saying,” he continued. “My place is available with the guest room for your mother or, I could get the two of you a hotel room. Whichever one you would prefer.”

Oliver knew offering Felicity the hotel room was the right thing to do even if he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to overbear and push her harder than she needed to be. Dr. Eddison cautioned against it, saying that Felicity would need some time to adjust to life again. Despite what he wanted and his own hurt, he would put Felicity’s needs before his.

Felicity worried her bottom lip between her teeth while also worrying the bedsheet between her fingers. She could see the hole in Oliver’s eyes and the longing. Here, her husband was practically standing before her quietly begging for her to return home to him. She was gone for a year. He missed and mourned her.

Everything she couldn’t give him in return. She wasn’t ready to go back to their world. She was still feeling as if she was in a daze and confused. Not knowing who she really was, and trying to wrap her mind around the reality of things.

“With my mother. I just...” The words faltered at Felicity’s lips as she tried to come up with a sentence to explain how she was feeling.

Oliver reached out grabbing Felicity’s hand into his quieting her. He could feel her immediately tense up as her eyes shifted from him down to their joined hands. He didn’t let her go, but he loosened his already lax grip on her. He softly brushed his thumb against her knuckles.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything. I understand,” he said managing to hide the sadness and disappointment in his voice. “I understand,” he repeated.

He repeated it even though he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why this was happening. Why this was his reality and why this couldn’t all just be a bad dream?

Reluctantly letting her hand go, he walked off heading toward the door. He glanced back at Felicity once more. “I’ll go get you guys set up right away,” he told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts are always wanted and welcomed! They feed my soul and give me the encouragement to go on. XOXO!


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity decides to research the last three years. Oliver struggles with a decision Felicity makes causing arguments within his family.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

“Sweetie, do you need anything?”

Donna’s voice called out from the dining area. The hotel they were staying in was top notch. Luxurious, spacious and high end. The bedroom alone was the size of the two-bedroom apartment Felicity thought she still had. Courtesy of the Queen last name and black card, she was sure.

“No, I’m fine,” Felicity declined.

Felicity slept for most of the first night/day she and Donna were in the hotel. Exhaustion wrecked her body and Felicity knew it was more emotional tiredness than anything. She ate an apple and cheese for breakfast, not really having the stomach for anything else. Probably had to do with her still jumbled up nerves.

Freshly showered and in regular clothes, she sat in the living area of the hotel. With her legs tucked underneath her, and her mother’s laptop - something she never thought she would live to see - in her lap, Felicity opened the laptop and pulled up the internet browser. With a quick Google search of herself, she had a seemingly never ending page of information catered totally around her.

It was such a surreal feeling to be considered a celebrity. Of course, she dreamed of owning her own company, knowing that would bring added attention onto herself, but this level of notoriety was on an extreme scale. She even had a Wikipedia page. Mind blowing that just a regular girl from Vegas could turn into what she had seemingly became in such a short amount of time.

All of the top articles consisted of different variations of her miraculous return. Then there were images of her. Shots of her that were definitely courtesy of the paparazzi. Pictures of her taking leisurely strolls. When did she become so good at taking pictures? How long did paps follow her for her to seem so comfortable with them?

Also, her hair was shoulder length at one point. When did she make a drastic decision like that? She loved her hair length, or so she thought. Another thing that seemingly changed over three years.

Felicity’s eyes lingered on the pictures of her and Oliver together. In every picture, they were touching. Either linked arms, hand in hand, his hand on her back or shoulder, or his arms wrapped around her. She saw one where Oliver was carrying her on his back, both laughing as she held a peace sign up. That picture seemed far more feasible than the others and she couldn’t help but to laugh at the silliness in the photo.

To add to more bizarreness, there were magazine covers. None of which she recognized. The magazine covers were all linked to a website — smoaktechnologies.com

As soon as she clicked the link, the page loaded instantly. Bright pink, blue and purple colors flashed across the screen as a spotlight shined down on a passage of words. Felicity read the first couple of words realizing it was her mission statement. The bright color scheme and the beautiful mission statement about empowerment, being innovative and going beyond definitely came from her personality and brain.

A proud smile stretched across her face at the realization that she successfully launched a company. A dream of hers was fulfilled. She was a CEO. The happiness turned into a bittersweet feeling because she didn’t remember any of it. She didn’t remember the many late nights she was sure she spent pouring over ideas, paperwork and countless other tasks.

Next she decided to see if she had any social media pages. Quickly checking Facebook and Twitter, they seemed to exist just to collect dust with her not making many posts and the last one came months before the accident even occurred. She remembered Instagram and knew more than likely that would be the one she updated more frequently. It took about four seconds for her to long into her page and sure enough, that was the one she used most. 

  

 **Felicity Smoak - Queen** was the first thing that popped out at her. Hyphenating her name was definitely something true to her nature. She wanted her last name to mean something. And to be a young CEO with a company named after her meant everything. Another thing that stood out was the fact she disappeared the night of her honeymoon, so that meant she practically changed her name soon after saying I do.

Her page showed that she had over two million followers. Felicity wondered how many of those she actually earned on her own, how many came courtesy of being linked to Oliver and how many she gained after her ‘death’.

Her eyes squinted as she focused on the page filled with pictures. She saw Oliver, two men she didn’t recognize. Thea, who she had no recollection of being so close to. There was even a baby. She looked back at the picture of Oliver before tearing her eyes away suddenly and saw Donna standing in the entryway watching her. Sniffing and shoving her emotions temporarily away, Felicity motioned for Donna to sit next to her.

“Actually, can you come here for a moment,” she asked. “Could you explain these pictures to me,” she asked. She saw people that she didn’t recognize and moments that she had no recollection of. Confusion was settling in again, and she did need help.

Donna sat next to her, draping her arm over her shoulder with a comforting squeeze.

“We’ll start at the bottom with the first one and its pretty self-explanatory,” Felicity said. The ring on her finger was magnificent. Gorgeous, more gorgeous than anything g she’d seen in her entire life. No memory of the massive, yet simple and beautiful ring. She didn’t know how it felt, if it weighed her hand down or if it took her some time to grow comfortable wearing it.

“Yeah.” Donna smiled sincerely. “You were pretty excited and couldn’t wait to let the world know about your engagement.”

Felicity clicked on the picture and read the caption that accompanied it. ----  **How could I say anything but YES! You have stolen my heart in more ways than one. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. @O_Queen ️**

A short caption, but it was sweet. The words were sincere and wow, the ring was beyond gorgeous. She didn’t even want to think of how much it cost.

“Okay.” She pushed the gnawing emotions away and moved to the next one. “I can tell this one is a standard food pic. Pizza and coffee is definitely what I would shoot,” she smiled to herself. “So, next. Who’s this guy?” Felicity pointed to the picture of Oliver hugged up with someone.

“That’s Tommy Merlyn, Oliver’s best friend. He owns a sports bar in town, Verdant. He's such a lovely person," Donna beamed before moving on to the next photo. “You really wanted to go to San Diego Comic Con. Oliver indulged you and surprised you with a trip there for your 27th birthday. The two of you went early and then the rest of your gang joined you.”

“Really? I mean I know I always said I wanted to go and experience the madness, but he actually took me.” Felicity looked at the picture closer trying to see if she could tell it was at comic con. Nothing gave it away, but the Batman mask Oliver wore made a lot more sense now. Another moment on her bucket list that she couldn’t remember any second of. “I hate surprises, but I’m sure I was all over that one.” Felicity pointed to the picture of her and Donna together. “Where are we at here?”

“This is you and I in the parking lot of the building you chose for your company. You poured over property after property. You were stressing and I showed up, got you out of the house to enjoy some silliness and we lucked up on the perfect spot.”

“You did one of your pop-up surprise visits, didn’t you?”

Donna nodded with a bashful grin. “You know I did. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.”

“This was the guy with Oliver when he came to the hospital,” Felicity pointed. “He seemed to know me as well.” Felicity could see the sadness in his eyes. She could tell it wasn’t just for Oliver, but he looked genuinely hurt as well.

“John Diggle,” Donna said. “He’s Oliver’s sports agent and also a great friend of his. You and him grew close.” Donna’s finger traveled over to the picture of Felicity holding an adorable baby girl. “That’s his daughter Sara. His wife Lyla isn’t pictured. The Diggle’s are practically a second family to you.”

Felicity looked at the picture of the little Sara in her arms. Felicity never thought of herself as being particularly great with children, but the wide smile on her face as she held the adorable baby in her arms spoke volumes. She was comfortable with her and the baby wasn’t screaming in her arms.

Felicity noticed how Donna paused and a solemn look appear in her eyes. "Mom, what is it?"

"Sara's your god-daughter. They made you and Oliver her god-parents."

Felicity sucked in a deep shaky voice. Another person that meant a lot to her that she forgot in the blink of an eye. And it her just like all the other revelations. Forcing herself not to dwell too long on the pain, she urged her mother to keep going. There was Oliver at the baseball field, a picture of shopping bags with brand names she only dreamed of buying in the past. Then a photo of her with champagne looking as if she was having the time of her life.

“Your bachelorette party,” Donna told her.

Felicity eyes widened. “You were at my bachelorette party,” she gasped.

“No,” Donna laughed. “You were pretty insistent on not having your mother there that night.”

“Oh,” Felicity sighed relieved. Having your mother at your bachelorette party screamed nightmare and if she had been there, that was one memory Felicity would’ve been happy to forget. “But you and I did something together, right? Just not that?”

Donna nodded. “We had a nice daughter and mother day out. Then we also did something with Moira, the three of us.”

Moira was scary. Felicity knew that from working in the company and heard stories about how she had a tongue as sharp as a whip and presence that could make you shake in your boots. She wondered how did it go being brought into the Moira. Did she babble herself into embarrassment? So many questions as to how the introduction into Oliver’s circle went for her.

Donna explained the last three pictures. Shopping bags from a shopping trip she went on with Thea. Thea, who she was pictured with at a charity event of Oliver’s. The last one was the one she briefly looked at before going through the others. It was her and Oliver — their first dance.

Their bodies meshed together, fingers linked, Oliver’s hand low at her back. Intimate. What stood out most to her about the picture was the way she looked up at him. Her eyes were full of love and adoration. She smiled so brightly, dimples appeared on her cheeks. The height distance even with heels on had Oliver towering over her, but despite the distance, Oliver was close up on Felicity. Not an inch of room left between them.

“Your first dance,” Donna said. Felicity could practically hear the smile in her mother’s voice as she talked next to her. “The song was At Last by Etta James.”

Felicity let the cursor hover over the picture as if she thought about clicking it to read the caption. Instead she pulled her hand away not able to handle the words at the moment. She could already feel the tears forming again and was certain the caption would basically be like hitting the detonator on her emotions.

“This is a lot.” She laughed in disbelief as her eyes shifted over each picture again. “A lot to take in and a part of me...” She shook her head softly. “Part of me just can’t see this being me. I keep trying to picture it and... “The words failed to come out as she tried to wrap her mind around it all.

“You weren’t the same girl you were when you first moved to Starling. You weren’t that young lady sifting through a career and trying to find out who she was. You grew into a beautiful confident woman. You met a guy and you fell in love and love changes people,” Donna said simply. “Change is not always bad, it can be for the better.”

Felicity looked back to the screen almost afraid to look too long. Her eyes shifted nervously at a glance.

“I know this seems surreal,” Donna continued. “I know it all seems foreign and scary, but it was real. Every bit of it was real. You were happy. Oliver made you happy. You fit into Oliver’s circle like a missing piece. You complimented one another and became something that was pretty perfect.“

The words from Donna sounded good and comforting, but Felicity was struggling with this version of herself. Followed by the paparazzi day in and out. Seeing herself be so open and out there. Going on elaborate shopping trips, public events, having magazine shoots. She seemed comfortable with it all.

“Did I lose myself in him,” Felicity asked.

“What?” Donna’s pitch of voice was elevated as if she couldn’t believe the question. Taking the laptop away from Felicity, she scooted even close to her taking her hands in hers and forcing her to look into her eyes. “Listen to me,” she firmly said. “That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how it’s supposed to feel when you love someone. Believe it or not, he lost himself in you. And you’ll find yourself in each other again.”

~

Oliver showed up to the hotel after two days. He brought more of Felicity’s things over to her. Some old and some freshly bought.

Donna slipped out giving Felicity and Oliver space and time alone. The moment the door closed behind her, awkward quietness slipped in. Oliver rocked back and forth on his heels with his hands stuffed in his pant pockets and Felicity lingered by the couch, opting to stand instead of sitting for some odd reason.

“How are you feeling,” Oliver asked her.

“Good.” She gave a small shrug. “I’m fine physically I mean, so that’s good I guess. Nothing else has changed.” Felicity cut her babble off suddenly feeling embarrassed heat rise at the back of her neck.

Oliver took a look around the room. “Is there anything else you need?”

“No.” She glanced down at the two duffle bags. “I’m sure this is more than enough. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said.

“You want to sit,” Felicity blurted out and pointed at the couch she was hovering over. She made herself take a seat in the corner. “You don’t have to stand.”

Oliver sat down stiff and uncomfortable. There was room enough for almost two more people to sit between them. Times before Felicity would sit in his lap or he would lay his head in her lap with her hand running through his hair. Cuddling on the couch was their thing.

“How did we meet?” Felicity spent time sifting through the pictures and some articles, but none mentioned exactly how they crossed passed. And she wondered just how the two of them came to be. “Did we see each other at your parents company or something?”

“Yes and no,” Oliver answered. “I actually... I had a computer emergency once and I called Walter. Walter Steele.”

“I remember him. He’s the one who actually hired me.”

“Yeah, so I went to him about my computer because... “ Oliver paused with a laugh as he recanted the story. “This girl I used to see hacked all of my social media accounts.”

“No way,” Felicity gasped.

“Afraid so,” he laughed again. “She hacked me and starting sharing porn links and viruses everywhere.”

Felicity’s eyes widened as she laughed. “Oh my gosh, that’s terrible.” Felicity laughed again. “What did you do because you must’ve really pissed her off.”

“I may have ghosted her,” Oliver confessed. He could see Felicity’s eyes widen again, so he launched into his explanation. “In my defense, I picked up on her craziness after just two weeks, hence why I tried to break it off. Albeit, abruptly, but still.”

“Ah! Gotcha.” Felicity smiled still amused. “You said Walter pointed you in my direction?”

Oliver nodded. “No one else could figure out how to fix it, so Walter sent me straight to you. Said you were the best, so I went to the best,” Oliver smiled.

Felicity felt pride swell up inside. It felt good to have her tech talents and smarts be what brought them together. Not that meeting under any other way would be frowned upon, but to her it meant everything.

“I walked into your office,” Oliver began. His smile stretched wider as the memory was clear as day. Your hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail. Your lips were bright pink and a red pen was stuck between your lips as your painted fingernails flew across your keyboard. I called your name and you looked up at me with a surprised face snatching the pen from your lips. That’s how we started.”

Felicity was still smiling. She hadn’t smiled this long since her return. Hearing about the beginning of her and Oliver was sweet and

“How did I react when you told me what happened to your computer,” she asked Oliver next.

“Oh, I definitely lied about what happened at first. I actually blamed it on my best friend Tommy. I said he borrowed my laptop and watched porn on it.”

“Oliver,” she exclaimed before erupting into another laugh. “Oh my gosh. That’s so mean.”

“I didn’t want you to know about Alena, that was her name,” he explained quickly. “I didn’t tell you right away because I knew from meeting you that I was going to ask you out. Turned out to be useless though, because you quickly deduced that I was lying.”

“This Alena must’ve been very good in the tech world since no one else could fix it.”

Oliver nodded. “She was no match for you though. You fixed it in under an hour,” he said.

A blush spread across Felicity’s cheek. Oliver’s words to her were so sweet and complimentary.

“Tommy wasn’t exactly pleased when he learned I tried to throw him under the bus in your favor.”

Felicity laughed again still amused at everything she’d learned from Oliver.

Oliver stared at Felicity taking her in. Soaking in the image of her. Actually being in the same room as her again. He watched her laugh as her eyes squinted and her smile stretched across her face showcasing all of her gorgeous teeth.

“I missed that,” he said before he knew it.

Confusion clouded her face as she scrunched her eyes.

“Your laugh,” he explained. “It was good to hear your laugh,” he said. “It was...I mean it is,” he corrected himself. “It is one of my favorite things about you.”

“Oh.” Felicity’s eyes fell to her hands as she picked at her nails. She subconsciously swiped at a nonexistent strand of hair as Oliver’s eyes stayed at her. She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat.

Quietness fell into the room again and Felicity’s mind went to work once more. She took in everything Oliver had told her and tried to piece it all together. In her attempt at researching herself, she ran across articles that painted a completely different starting point for her and Oliver.

Oliver picked up on exactly what Felicity was doing. He could tell she was thinking, rather overthinking.”

“What’s wrong,” Oliver asked.

“Nothing,” she said much to Oliver’s dismay. “Nothing,” she repeated again attempting to throw Oliver’s concern off and away from her.

Oliver small a small sigh. He and Felicity made such progress in this short time that he wanted to continue. Continue reconnecting as much as possible. He wanted her to tell him what was wrong when just two minutes ago, she was laughing.

“It’s something,” he countered. “I can tell. Your eyebrows crinkle and you get these lines in your forehead when something is worrying or bothering you.”

Felicity rubbed at her forehead with an amused laugh. “Oh.” He knew her quirks and her small mannerisms. “It’s nothing really. Just forget I said anything.”

“Felicity.”

Oliver called her name and there was something about the way he said it. It struck something inside of her. She could almost feel her resolve and walls crumbling at the soft tone he took with her. His voice made her feel as if she was wrapped up in his arms safe away from the world.

“We used to tell each other everything.” Oliver’s voice rose a bit as he was practically pleading her. He just wanted some resemblance of what they used to have. Their conversations and how they would always talk to each other. It didn’t always have to be a serious topic, they just genuinely enjoyed being together and listening. Exactly like they were doing before she withdrew again.

Oliver looked over to the coffee table and could see what looked to be a magazine half covered. He reached out and picked it up. The Starling Enquirer. The cover page was Felicity with the article titled - _Was it a true accident or an elaborate scheme all along?_ The author was none other than Susan Williams.

Angrily tossing the magazine back to the table, he turned back to Felicity. Is that what you’ve been reading,” he asked her, but she remained silent not answering. “It’s not true,” he firmly said. “Whatever you read, none of that bullshit is true. It was never true.”

“I... I didn’t mean to bring it up...” Felicity could see the hurt in Oliver’s eyes.

“No,” he quietly shushed her. “No, please don’t apologize. I know you’ve probably looked yourself and us up online, which is great. It’s just, that particular reporter is nothing more than a gossiping woman full of hate. For some reason she latched onto you and I, but there was never any malicious intent behind us. I promise you that. Please, just don’t believe anything written by Susan Williams.”

“I won’t,” Felicity said. “I won’t look her up again,” she made a promise to him. Honestly, she had enough of reading things insinuating her as a gold digger that used Oliver and his family name.

“Are you and Donna alright here?” Oliver attempted to move the conversation to something else to hopefully lighten the mood again.

“Actually.” Felicity stood up and ran her hands over her jeans. She slipped her hands into her back pockets. “I was thinking she and I should go back to Vegas,” she said. “And I don’t want you to have to keep paying for us to stay here.”

“Felicity, I assure you money is not an option.” He tried to reason with her.

“I know.” She dropped her eyes suddenly feeling guilt again. “I just think it’s the best. For now at least, until I can make more sense of some things and maybe give the craze a bit of time to die down.”

Since her return was publicly known now, the press was eating it up, hence why that Susan Williams dusted off her scathing remarks. Luckily, Felicity’s location was still unknown, but she didn’t want to hole up in the hotel anymore and she wasn’t exactly ready to go with Oliver. Vegas would be a short solace and no one would get to her there.

Oliver nodded quietly. He scrubbed his hands over his face and Felicity looked back to him not able to tell if it was emotion or frustration clouding his face. He stood and turned to her nodding again.

Oliver met Felicity’s eyes. She looked frightened, almost like a scared animal in the middle of the road late at night. And he hated it. He hated this place they were in and he didn’t know what to do to get them past it. For now, he would begrudgingly accept where they were with things.

“If that’s what you want,” he said. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call and let me know.”

* * *

A week and half. That’s how long it had been since Felicity went to Vegas. His wife was back from the dead and instead of being by him, she was across the country away from him. There had been no contact with her at all, but Donna kept him updated on how she was doing physically and mentally. Oliver was thankful for her; he couldn’t have asked for a better mother in law.

Oliver understood why Felicity was hurting and why she needed space, but all he wanted was her. All he wanted was to have their life back with none of this heartache going on.

After Felicity left, he drifted back into the recluse he’d been in. He avoided calls, only sending messages to let people know he was fine, but didn’t want company. Even John stayed away this time and that was unlike him. That spoke to the severity of the situation.

Thea sent him an almost three page text message letting her know how she was worried and needed to see him before she went crazy. He could practically see her crying through the messages and just like when they were kids, he could no longer say no to his baby sister.

So now, he stood in the den of the manor with his mother, father and sister joining him. A family meeting of sorts.  
“I know what you all called me here for, but I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t; I just wanted you to see that I’m fine.” He prefaced the talk with a warning, but he knew they wouldn’t head it at all.

His father leaned against the doorframe, hands in his pockets, taking that familiar stance he used to take whenever they had a family meeting. “We know things haven’t turned out the way you wanted them to,” Robert said.

“Things haven’t turned out the way I wanted them to?” He repeated the words he couldn’t believe he was hearing. “You say that as if I’m upset about losing the lottery or even a game. I think this situation is a hell of a lot bigger than that. You don’t understand what I’m going through and what I’m feeling.”

“Son,” Moira began softly. “We’re just concerned about you.”

“Yeah,” Thea chimed in. “We were all hurt when she disappeared and still hurting now with what has happened.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” he huffed. He felt red hot anger all over his body now. “It’s not nearly the same,” he said through gritted teeth. Them comparing their feelings to his pissed him off even more. No amount of hurt could compete with what he was feeling. He turned to Thea lighting into her with his words. “You lost your shopping buddy.” He turned glaring at Moira next. “And mom, you didn’t even like Felicity at first...”

“Ollie!” Thea yelled his name stopping him before he could go at that particular tangent any further. “That’s not fair.”

Moira’s eyes fell to the floor as she avoided Oliver’s gaze. What Oliver said was true and she hated to admit it. When Oliver first revealed that the girl he’d been seeing was Felicity, she wasn’t particularly pleased. It wasn’t for anything malicious. It was because she was worried about a QC employee dating her son and the possibility of it going completely wrong. The PR nightmare would’ve been a headache to deal with. Also, she thought Oliver was being his usual self, not serious about a girl and dropping her when he became bored, so she didn’t feel the need to attempt to get to know her. But Oliver proved that Felicity was real and she took the time to learn just who Felicity was and it resulted in a close relationship with her.

“You’re right.” Moira stood from the couch she was seated in and approached Oliver cautiously. “I didn’t treat Felicity the best when you first brought her around and I apologized for that then and now. I still mourned for my daughter in law and I now mourn for my son and the pain you’re feeling. I mourn for what the two of you have lost.”

Oliver’s anger melted into pure sadness. He helplessly shrugged as his eyes watered. His mother’s words did absolutely nothing for his comfort. All he focused on was Thea’s word usage of fair. He laughed bitterly at it. “What’s not fair is me losing my wife, not once but twice.”

Dead silence burst into the room. Everyone stewed on the words spoken, not knowing what else to say. The quietness began ringing too loudly in Oliver’s ears and he knew he needed to leave. He needed to get out of there before he said something he would regret later. He couldn’t look at them and clearly see or appreciate their warranted concern. Only his pain mattered to him. His pain and anger.

Just as he thought, coming here had been a mistake and it only made him feel worse than he was before. “I need to go.” He roughly snatched his jacket from the chair he was sitting in and began stalking towards the exit.

Thea called after her brother to no avail. She hated to see him hurting and angrily lashing out at people. She didn’t want to push him to hard and didn’t want him to be alone either.

Moira stepped in front of Thea holding her back from following after him.

Oliver brushed past Robert, who was still standing at the entryway. Without a glance back, Oliver left out the door letting it loudly slam behind him.

“Just let him go,” Robert spoke quietly. “We may not like it, but right now he just needs to be alone. He’ll come to us when he’s ready.”

~

Felicity couldn’t sleep. Lying in her childhood bedroom in her Vegas home brought back many memories, but not the memories she wanted. Things felt normal for once, but she knew it wasn’t right.

Like so many nights before, she tossed and turned. The picture she’d avoided closely examining called out to her. Her mother’s words of wisdom kept repeating themselves. Then there was the picture she saw every time there was a quiet moment in her brain. The picture of her and Oliver at their happiest.

Sitting up in her bed, she grabbed her newly purchased phone. Even iPhones changed drastically in her time away. Literally everything had grown without her. Swiping up to unlock the phone, she pulled up Instagram and the haunting picture came into view. Nervously chewing on her bottom lip, her thumb shakily hovered over it. Taking a deep sigh, she pressed down on their first dance image. ----  **Today I said I do to my best friend. @Oliver_J_Queen I took on the last name of the guy who somehow manages to love me more than I love myself. The guy who believes in me and encourages me even when I question or doubt myself. I believe without a doubt in my mind, that I am the luckiest woman in the world to have him by my side. I only wish to give him even half of the love he gives me daily.**

Just as she feared it was a lovely and short caption. And she had to have meant every single word. She read the caption over and over trying to remember something, trying to feel something reminiscent of what she felt when she wrote these beautiful words to Oliver. Plunging even deeper, she found herself on Oliver’s page. She'd actively avoided his page for weeks almost afraid to read his words to her. Just like hers, his had been deserted after the accident.

  

She glanced over the photos quickly, with the corner of her lips up-ticking into a small smile at the pictures. They practically mirrored her posts and she could figure out where they were taken based on the knowledge her mother had given her.

While her post about their marriage had been their first dance, Oliver’s post was their first kiss. She examined it and once again they were practically conjoined. Felicity could see the way they both smiled into their kiss. Her dress was different in this photo. So, she was one of those brides that had multiple dresses for her big day. She must've changed into something more comfortable and easier to move around in for the reception. Clicking on the picture, she held her breath. ----

**If I could live in this moment forever I would. Holding onto the woman who I love more than myself. Kissing my wife for the first time after uttering two short words that I’ve meant more than any of the others. I never thought I could feel this way about someone until I met this petite blonde with eyes that sparkle as bright as the stars. She’s perfect in every sense of the word and I’m beyond lucky to have her on my arm forever. Here’s to the rest of our lives. @felicity_smoak**

Tears were streaming down Felicity’s cheeks as she read each word over and over. Her emotions were riddled with guilt. Guilt because she couldn’t remember loving him so deeply that it evoked these words from him. Guilt because she was halfway across the world while he was back in Starling still alone despite her return. Why couldn’t she give him an inch of hope? Why couldn’t she make herself go to him like his eyes desperately begged her to despite his words saying the opposite. Why did all of this have to happen?

He loved her deeply then and still felt the same now. She saw it in his eyes, heard in his voice and felt it the few times she could tell he had to refrain from reaching out to her. She closed her eyes and she could see Oliver as clear as day. The hurt on him when she said she was going to Vegas. She could see the moment his heart dropped. And Felicity repaid him by tucking tail and running away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts are always wanted and welcomed! They feed my soul and give me the encouragement to go on. XOXO!


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver makes amends with people. Donna has a talk with Felicity.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

VERDANT. That’s what the bold green letters displayed above the sports bar that Oliver was co-owner of along with his childhood best friend Tommy Merlyn.

Just as Oliver, Tommy chose not to go into the family business. His father was Malcolm Merlyn, CEO of Merlyn Global. He and Tommy had a tumultuous relationship that began after the death of the Merlyn matriarch, Rebecca.

Not wanting to ever leave his best friend behind, Oliver made sure to bring Tommy along for the ride once he made the major leagues. He remembered how Tommy always talked of owning a club or bar, so he asked if he was serious about it and once he said yes, Verdant was born. Oliver’s celebrity name might’ve been behind the establishment, but Tommy was the true workhorse.

Over the week after Felicity left for Vegas, Oliver received numerous messages from Tommy, but never responded back. Now that he was thinking more clearly, he felt guilty about ignoring Tommy. He was about to send him a reply, but couldn’t find the right words, so he thought it would be best to stop by and talk face to face. It was still early afternoon, and the place didn’t open until the evening at six, so Oliver figured it would be best to stop by when it was quiet.

Speaking to a couple of workers as he walked inside, Oliver didn’t see Tommy at his usual spot behind the bar, so he figured he would head towards the back where Tommy’s office was located.

Peeking his head inside, he found Tommy was on his cellphone and signing off on a delivery. Tommy caught sight of him and waved him inside the room as he continued multitasking. Oliver quietly hung back in the corner of the room taking a look around while Tommy handled business.

Tommy’s office always looked disheveled no matter the time or day, but yet he always managed to somehow maneuver through it.

That’s where he and Oliver differed. Oliver was a bit of neat freak and if his place was dirty it was because he was going through something or unable to find the appropriate time to clean.

Tommy finished signing the paperwork and ended his call to finally address Oliver. “Hey man.” He walked up to Oliver pulling him into a hug.

Oliver noticed the way Tommy held onto him for longer than usual. Neither one of them said anything, but the silent words were loud enough. It was a hug of comfort and the hug of a best friend who didn’t have the perfect words, but could offer himself.

Tommy finally released Oliver and stepped back with a genuine smile. “It’s real good to see you man.”

“Yeah. You too. Got a minute?”

Tommy nodded. “We can grab a drink and sit to a table,” he suggested.

“Sounds good.”

Oliver followed Tommy back out to the front where Tommy grabbed two beers from the mini fridge holding one out to Oliver.

“No,” Oliver declined. “I’ll take a water instead,” he said. Beer and alcohol had been his crutches lately, so he needed to move past that.

Tommy quickly swapped the drinks out and joined Oliver at a corner table for a seat. Oliver took the cool glass bottle with a nod of thanks and immediately brought it to his lips taking a drawn out sip.

“I got your messages,” Oliver began. “And I appreciate your concern and thank you for reaching out.”

Tommy shrugged the thanks off. “You would do the same for me. Just wanted to let you know I was here for you if you needed anything.”

Oliver felt remorse for ignoring his friend the way he did. “I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner.”

“You don’t have to apologize. What you’re dealing with right now, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how to cope. There’s no proper way or a rule book...”

“I still want to say I’m sorry though.” Oliver cut Tommy off. He did have to apologize because even if Tommy excused his behavior, he still needed to say sorry. “And it’s not just for recent behavior, I’m talking over the past year as well. You were trying to be there for me and I shut you out almost completely. You and Laurel, I owe you both apologies.”

Oliver struggled with seeing Tommy and Laurel together. They got engaged while Felicity and Oliver were in the last months of their engagement and were married a couple of months after Felicity went missing. A date that had been set in stone for some time, so it couldn’t have been changed. What should’ve been a joyous occasion to celebrate with his close friends, Oliver found himself dreading it. Yes, he went to the wedding, he was even the best man, but Oliver knew he half assed his support because he was still hurting.

After they were married, Oliver distanced himself even more. Every time Oliver looked at Laurel and Tommy, he saw what he was supposed to have with Felicity. It was different from seeing John and Lyla. John and Lyla were his future, but Laurel and Tommy were the present, the right now. Tommy and Laurel were in happy newlywed bliss, still fresh and new. His happiness was gone and it stung to look at them together, so he drifted away.

“You know I don’t hold any grudges and Laurel doesn’t either. We both understood what you were going through and even what you are dealing with now.” Tommy didn’t hold any ill feelings towards his good friend. He knew it was difficult for Oliver and that’s exactly why he never pressed the issue. “How is she doing,” Tommy asked.

“Physically she’s fine,” Oliver began. “Everything else is where the problems lie.”

“It’s such a miracle that she’s back. I mean...wow.” Tommy sighed in disbelief still trying to wrap his mind around the news that shook everyone’s lives up once again.

From the moment he met Felicity, Tommy took to her. Her babbles and no brain to mouth filter became easy targets for him to tease her about. It was all in good fun and she became a permanent fixture with them. As Oliver and Felicity’s relationship progressed, he’d never witnessed his best friend, so happy and in love before.

“Thea told me she went back to Vegas.”

Oliver nodded bringing his bottle to his lips for a quick sip. “I get it, she’s confused and afraid. I would be too if I were in her shoes. I just... I wish there was something I could say to her to make her fears go away. To let her know I’m here for her.”

Tommy dropped a comforting hand on Oliver shoulder with a firm squeeze.

“The two of you are special. Hell, seeing you with Felicity is what made me finally decide to get my act together and be honest with Laurel. I had never witnessed you so in awe and just happy all the time. I knew I had to try to tap into that some kind of way.”

Oliver laughed a heartfelt and honest laugh. Something that he hadn’t done in a long time. “You know, Felicity always said you were a soft love sick puppy masquerading as a playboy.”

“I guess she could tell from dealing with you and she was absolutely correct about the both of us,” Tommy laughed.

Oliver and Tommy were both in midst of their “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” phases. Oliver never dated someone for long and Tommy, even though he had feelings for Laurel, refused to admit his truth. Once Oliver realized Felicity was unlike anyone else, he committed solely to her. Tommy soon followed suit with Laurel.

“So, the amnesia? All of her memories of these last years are really gone,” Tommy asked.

“Yeah completely. And if she doesn’t get them back, I honestly don’t know what to do.”

“You’ll just have to get her to fall in love with you all over again.”

Tommy said it Oliver as if it was simple, but it wasn’t. She was still in Vegas and he was still in Starling.

“Easier said than done when there’s thousands of miles separating us,” Oliver mumbled.

“She’s going to come home,” Tommy said. His tone was encouraging and he seemed to mean every word. “You two are going to make it through this hurdle and come out even stronger that before. You’re too good of people for the universe to play such a cruel joke on.”

Oliver looked over at Tommy and held his water bottle up clinking it against his beer bottle. “From your lips to the universe’s ears my friend.”

~

“Hey!” Oliver walked into the manor finding it quiet. If he had called beforehand, he would’ve known if anyone was actually at home. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he called out once more. “Anyone here?”

After not getting an answer, he was about to turn around and leave until he heard a voice. “Ollie?” Thea bounced down the stairs with a surprised look on her face. Her steps slowed as she reached the last couple of steps. “You okay?”

Oliver nodded as he glanced around to see if he saw his parents. “Mom and dad around?”

“Nope. They had a work event. They’ll be gone until late tonight.”

“Oh.”

Thea eyed Oliver a bit longer. “What’s up? Anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah. I came to apologize to you guys about my outburst the last time we talked.” After apologizing to Tommy, he figured he should make amends with his family. Consider the day his apology tour.

Thea gave Oliver a sympathetic look. She walked up to him slipping her arm through his pulling him to a seat beside her on the bottom of the stairs.

“You know we weren’t upset with you, right?”

“I know, but I didn’t like how I left things between us.” Their family didn’t thrive on drama and when problems arose, they talked them out. He and Thea has always been especially close. Turning to her, he swiped a piece of hair from stuck on her eyelash. “Especially you and I. You’re my Speedy,” he whispered to her.

“And your Speedy knows and understands what her brother is going through.”

“You’ve always been so smart, huh,” Oliver joked with lighthearted laugh.

For Thea to be only 23, she was wise well beyond her years. Oliver learned the extent of that when Thea revamped his image and became his publicist.

“I mean, I don’t want to brag, but yeah,” she agreed.

“You were the first person to tell me not to mess things up with Felicity.”

Thea nodded with a grin. “I did. I knew if she turned you down multiple times, she was worth it.”

“You just liked to see me eat crow.”

“How could I not,” she scoffed. “No woman had ever turned you down. You just knew she was going to be like the others and fall at your feet saying yes and thanking the heavenly stars the great and mighty Oliver Jonas Queen decided to ask her out.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” he laughed. “I eventually got her to say yes anyway though. And once she was in my hooks, I was always glad the two of you really hit it off. My two favorite girls getting along.”

“It came easy,” Thea shrugged. “She became one of my favorite people.”

Thea always thought about the first time she met Felicity. She had never met someone so cheerful, happy and down to earth. And not to mention funny. She was the most hilarious person Thea knew. And Thea liked the way her brother was with Felicity. He was no longer the overgrown jock with a cocky attitude and attempted bad boy swagger. He was hopelessly in love and Thea liked the way love looked on Oliver.

“Yeah.” Oliver’s voice trailed off as he dropped his head looking down. The five minutes of lightness soon was pushed aside by reality for him again. “I didn’t mean to imply that you never really cared for Felicity. I know you and her had a real relationship and I shouldn’t have cheapened it.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered as she bumped shoulders with Oliver. “You were hurt. You are hurting. I would be foolish to hold anything you said against you.”

“You know she was the one that stopped me from punching your boyfriend in the face when I met him.”

“See,” Thea laughed. “And that’s exactly why I told her about Roy first and got her help to introduce the two of you.”

Looking back now, Oliver could laugh. But then, he was furious at the thought of his little sister seriously dating someone. Felicity’s insistence on the fact that Thea wouldn’t be a little girl forever only made it worse. The moment poor young Roy walked into their place, Oliver wanted to deck him on principle alone, but Felicity quickly intervened and flawlessly steered the introduction and the rest of the evening.

Oliver laughed quietly before looking at Thea again. “Roy is a good guy,” he said in a serious tone. He saw the way Thea’s eyes smiled at the words of Oliver’s approval. “I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy and I want you to hold onto it. Cherish it,” he said.

Thea knew Oliver’s words of wisdom were coming from a place of sadness because of the situation with Felicity, but they were honest words of advice. She wrapped herself around Oliver’s shoulders pulling him into her arms. Pressing a wet and sloppy kiss on his cheeks, she laughed as he immediately grimaced. It was their thing when they wanted to get on the other’s nerves. It was teasing, but full of love. And she loved her brother. “I love you and I’m always here for you. Never forget that.”

* * *

In her bedroom, Felicity sat to her old vanity staring at herself in the mirror. She remembered when she received the vanity set. It was for her 13th birthday and it was all she desperately wanted. Even at a young age, Felicity knew the struggles her mother went through financially being a single mother. In her mind, if she asked for only one gift, it wouldn’t be as big of a burden to Donna. She was presented the beautiful vanity with a bright pink bow on it. And Felicity cherished it, making sure to take special care of it, so it still stood in impeccable condition to this very day.

Looking over herself, she looked picture perfect. Her hair was done, freshly dyed to a brighter blonde and trimmed ridding of the unruly strands. Her nails were done, cuticles and dead skin clipped away with a bright pink polish perfectly staining her nail bed. Her skin was moisturized thanks to the facial masks that slipped moisture into her pores.

The entire day had been dedicated to getting dolled on from head to toe. Donna insisted on getting her out of the house for a day of relaxation and pampering. Felicity enjoyed it but even though, she looked like herself, she still felt off.

Sweeping her hair to the side, Felicity examined the small mark on her temple. This is why she still didn’t feel like she was herself. To the outside it wasn’t anything special or significant but to her, it was exactly that. It was defining and the scar symbolized a lot. The moment her world was snatched from her and she was launched into this world of unknown.

Turning slightly to the left, Felicity’s eyes landed on the framed photo of her and Oliver. Her smile was almost as wide as the frame and her eyes were as bright as the sun. Oliver’s face didn’t hold a smile, but his eyes were on her, staring ever so intently as if he was peering into her soul.

Felicity let her fingers glide across the frame, stroking her face as then Oliver’s. How she wished she could evoke some of the same happiness she clearly felt in this moment.

Her door opening pulled Felicity from her thoughts. Donna poked her head inside the room calling to her softly. “Can I come in?”

Felicity nodded. “Yeah, come on.” She looked back at the picture for a second longer before returning it back to its rightful spot. She pushed away from the vanity as Donna sat down on her bed.

“You remember the time you locked yourself in here because you couldn’t go to space camp?”

Felicity laughed and nodded. “I do. I was only able to manage a one day sit in because on the second day you cooked monte crisco sandwiches and I could smell it through the vents. Quite an evil minded genius you were.”

Donna laughed swinging her legs onto the bed. “Not so much of a master plan, but more so along the lines of that being the only thing I could cook without ruining it.”

“No, you never quite mastered that.”

“So, tell me what are you trying to avoid by locking yourself in here now,” Donna began.

Felicity looked up clueless. “What do you mean? I’m not locking myself in my room.”

“I mean figuratively.” Donna waved her hand around gesturing to the bedroom and the house. “I managed to get you out of the house today, but you’ve come right back to it.”

”I...I don’t...” The words faltered at Felicity’s lips and she couldn’t think of a coherent sentence or explanation.

“I need to ask you something, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.” Donna prefaced her question with a warning. “How long do you plan on staying here and avoiding your past?”

“Mom...”

“Listen. I get it. You’re afraid and still reeling from everything you’ve already learned, so adding more on top of it seems like a lot, but as long as you stay wrapped up in this safe Vegas cocoon, you can’t move forward.”

“We’re about to have the conversation I’ve been actively avoiding huh?” Felicity crawled onto her bed and laid next to Donna as she looked down at her.

Donna nodded and patted the spot next to her. “Yes we are. It’s my motherly duty.”

Felicity lifted her mother’s arm up and rested her head in Donna’s lap reminiscent of what she’d done so many times as a child growing up.

Donna softly patted Felicity’s head and let her fingers brush against her soft hair, stroking her and soothing her as if she was a baby in her arms like years ago.

“I’m married,” Felicity began. “That means I met a guy, I dated him, fell in love with and walked down the aisle with him. But I remember nothing of those life changing moments.”

Out of everything she couldn’t remember, that hurt the most. It hurt because for so long she had longed for a love. She longed for a relationship that wasn’t built on hurt and lies. She’d been burned by men before, her father and her college boyfriend Copper. Apparently she had finally found true happiness in Oliver in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Her memories of such important period in her life was gone from her completely.

And it wasn’t just some guy it was Oliver Queen. The infamous Oliver Queen. Heir to the biggest conglomerate in town. An athlete and a known celebrity. Everything she wouldn’t date, but yet he won her heart.

How they came to be was still a mystery. Yes, he told her why he came to her that fateful, but what else transpired between them?

As if her mother could read her mind, Donna basically told her she needed to confront her past.

“You won’t start to heal unless you want to. And that means you can’t run away from it. You have to confront it.”

Running from the inevitable was exactly what she was doing. It was the only thing that she could come up with after having her mind clouded with so many thoughts and questions.

“I feel like a horrible insensitive asshole for running away from him, but the truth is that I’m scared,” Felicity confessed. Her words came out soft as cotton and childlike. Tears began to travel down her face giving her cheeks salty moisture.

The tears stained Donna’s pants, but she didn’t care at all. She wiped away Felicity’s tears as fast as they fell.

This feeling of fear, uncertainty and self doubt was a feeling Felicity hated. She’d worked so hard to be confident in herself and never question herself and that’s all she could do now.

“I’m sure he understands.”

“What if I never remember?” She sat up as she questioned her main fear. Looking to her mother for some sort of answer, she continued. “What if I’m never that same woman again? What if who Oliver wants me to be is gone completely?”

Donna brushed Felicity’s hair away from her face. She tucked the stray strands behind her ears holding her face in her palms. “I know Oliver and he will love any version of you.”

Felicity grabbed Donna’s hands and held onto them. Closing her eyes, she leaned into her motherly touch trying to take a steadying breath. “Even if I’m a version that can’t love him back,” she pondered out loud.

~

In the loft, Oliver sat on the couch with his phone resting in his lap. It was late in the evening and quiet, and that’s when his mind went to racing. Thoughts of Felicity. They texted sporadically over the last couple of days, but he hadn't heard from her in a day. He picked up the phone contemplating if he should check in again or not. He was really struggling to find the right balance between checking in on her and not being overwhelming. He would have to let Felicity lead them to where they needed to go.

As he stretched back on the sofa closing his eyes for a moment, he heard a light knock on the door. Groaning as he swung his legs off the sofa, he hopped up with a stretch as whoever it was knocked once more. “Coming,” he yelled and hurried to the door. It was probably just one of his usual family members coming to check in.

Without checking the peephole, Oliver opened the door with a yawn covering his face. “Yeah?” He popped his eyes open and was met with the unexpected. Felicity was standing before him. She wasn’t alone, her luggage was right next to her. She awkwardly held her hands in front of her.

Oliver stood rooted to the floor and speechless. No word or sound came from his lips, and he only managed to give two slow blinks. For a moment, he felt like he couldn’t breathe as if he was maybe dreaming.

Felicity stood just as silent and motionless as Oliver. She didn’t move until Oliver rushed forward pulling her into a hug. Felicity was rigid for a split second, but soon dropped her shoulders and relaxed in his embrace. Bringing her arms up around him, Oliver’s scent filled Felicity’s nostrils as he held her in a firm grip. The hug was overwhelming, but at the same time it managed to feel amazing.

Oliver was lost in the feel of Felicity in his arms. He managed to snap out of his trance and finally take a step back. Running his hands down her arms, he blinked rapidly in disbelief not able to fathom that she had actually come to him. “Hey,” he breathed.

“Hey,” she repeated quietly. Casting her eyes down at her luggage and back at the place. “I figured it was time for me to return. If that’s alright,” she hesitated. “In retrospect, I probably should’ve texted or called...”

“No.” He cut her off and opened the door wider. “No worries. Come on in. I’m really glad you’re here.” Oliver grabbed her luggage for her as Felicity stepped inside.

“Thank you.” Felicity took a quick glance around and noticed how everything seemed neat and in place. She turned to see Oliver’s eyes on her. “Oliver, I’m really sorry for running and shutting you out,” she apologized. “I...”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Oliver said.

“I do. I was so focused on my own grief that I didn’t take the time to think about you and what you were dealing with and I’m truly sorry.”

Her mother’s words and her own thinking made her realize just how single minded she had been. She wasn’t the only one in the relationship and Oliver had gone through something traumatic as well.

“All that matters is that you’re here now. I can put your things in the bedroom and I can sleep in the guest...”

“No, no. Oliver, don’t. I won’t kick you out of your bedroom. I can take the guest bedroom.”

Oliver thought about insisting on letting her have their old bedroom, but figured everything inside the room would be too much, much too soon.”

“Well I kept everything pretty much the same. Your office has been practically untouched.”

“I had an office here,” she asked immediately.

Oliver nodded. “Yeah. When I asked you to move in with me, you said you would under two conditions and an office was one.“

“What was the other?”

“And a huge closet for your shoes.”

Felicity laughed an amused laugh. “Yeah, that’s definitely me. I love my shoes.” She moved around the living room taking more things in. She stopped at the mantle and surveyed everything perched atop of it. There were more picture of them together.

Oliver watched Felicity as she moved around. He soaked her in and the sight of her was like a sedative he needed. She was definitely different, but the same.

He noticed the color of her hair shining a bit brighter. The same hair he would constantly run her fingers through. Her nails and lips were painted a matching shade of pink. Her industrial piecing that he loved was back in her ear.

“Does anything stand out to you,” Oliver apprehensively asked. His question was hopeful and he tried to read Felicity’s body language when she didn’t answer immediately.

Felicity turned with a small shake of her head. “No, not yet,” she reluctantly answered. “But it’s home and that’s a start, right?”

Oliver smiled at Felicity and it felt like the most sincere smile he’d given someone in a year. It actually met his eyes and wasn’t forced or strained. He felt warm inside, not the cold loneliness or the longing. His wife had finally returned to him. For the first time in a very long time, everything felt right.

“Right. Welcome home, Felicity.”


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity tries to navigate being back in a home she doesn’t know. Oliver struggles with controlling his emotions during the readjustment.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

There was something strange and surreal about being home, but not having any recollection of it. No memories of laughs, tears, dinners or any of the many activities that took place in between these walls. The place she laid her head for many nights was a completely unknown place now. She felt like such a stranger that was invading Oliver’s home and privacy. 

Today, she would actually venture outside. She slipped into a light jacket and as she turned to the mirror to fix her hair, she heard a soft knock on the door. 

“Come in,” she said. 

Turning around, she faced Oliver as he tentatively opened the bedroom door. Oliver lingered by the door taking a look at Felicity. He momentarily forgot what he came to the room for, seeing Felicity dressed took him by surprise. She was her, but there was still uncertainty clouded over her. 

“You’re actually up and dressed? And before noon.” It was only a little after 10 and Felicity was never one to wake early. 

“Yeah.” She let out a light laugh. “I’ve been up about an hour,” she said. 

“Where are you headed,” he asked. 

“To see Dr. Eddison. He wants me to come by for a checkup since I’m back in town,” she told him as she slipped her hands in her back pockets. Dr. Eddison had remained in contact with her. Checking on her every so often to make sure nothing cautionary had arisen. 

“I was going to see if you wanted breakfast, but it’s good that you have an appointment. You want me to go with you,” Oliver questioned. 

“You don’t have to,” Felicity said. “I’m sure it’ll be a quick visit, so I don’t want to disrupt your day for something meaningless.” 

Oliver wanted to object, but didn’t. He kept his lips pulled tight in silence. He didn’t like the use of the word meaningless. A visit to her doctor was important 

“Well,” he sighed. “You have your keys and car. The road is yours,” he said. 

~

Hospitals and doctor offices creeped Felicity out. Since she was a child, she always hated them. She only went to the doctor when it was absolutely necessary. The last resort when home remedies weren’t enough. The blanched white walls, uncomfortable exam tables with scratchy paper stretched over them made her skin crawl. Not to mention the many germs that were probably scouring around. 

Now she sat in the cool and quiet exam room awaiting Dr. Eddison for her checkup. Exactly two minutes after her designated appointment time, he walked through the door with a smile. 

“Felicity, it’s so good to see you again,” he greeted her. 

“You too,” she smiled in return as he closed the door behind him. 

“You look great. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good. No complaints,” she told him.

Moving over to the sink, he sat his clipboard on the counter and washed his hands. “I’ll just do a quick exam.”

Felicity sat up straighter as Dr. Eddison approaches her. Titling Felicity’s head back, he grabbed his light from his pocket and looked in her eyes. 

“Look to the left. Look to the right. Up. Down.”

Felicity followed his instructions with no problems. “Alright,” he murmured as he slipped the light back in its place. “Any light headedness?”

“No,” Felicity shook her head. 

He moved Felicity’s head around with his hands pressing under her neck with his thumbs, checking all the sensitivity areas. “Headaches? Pain anywhere in your head, face or neck area? Nosebleeds? Nausea?”

Felicity answered no to each question as Dr. Eddison made the necessary marks on his paperwork. 

“Good. All of that checks out.” He gave Felicity a sincere smile that she mirrored. Putting his chart to the side, he stayed rooted in front of Felicity. “Any other symptoms or changes,” he asked next. 

“I don’t really sleep as well now,” she said. “I think that has more to do with my nerves and overthinking than anything else.”

“I could prescribe you a sleeping aide. A mild one, if you need it.”

“No,” she declined. “I’ll let it work itself out.” Prescription medication really was not her thing. Another one of her medical aversions. 

He sat down on the stool pulling it a bit closer to Felicity. “Has anything come back to you yet? Any memories big or small? Something you may think is significant.”

“No. There’s been none of that.” Her eyes fell as she answered that question. “I was hoping I would remember something, but still nothing.” It was still a blank slate. Completely empty. 

“It’s still early,” he cautioned her picking up on the sadness in her face voice. “It’s only been about two months and this can take some time.”

“But how much time,” she practically whined. Being patient was proving to be hard. And it felt like she was almost out of time. 

“Well the next course of action for you is to see the specialist I mentioned. I found one and his name is Henry Allen. He’s one of the top doctors in his field and right here in Starling. I’ve been in contact with him about your case and he’s agreed to take you on. Just give my secretary a good date for you on the way out and she will make the appointment and call you with any other details.”

“Henry Allen.” Felicity repeated the name, making a mental note to do some digging when she got home. “Okay.”

“How are things with Oliver? Adjusting to being back home?” The medical questions were over and he was delving into the personal side of things.

Felicity sighed before she nodded. “Good. He’s good.” He was great even. So attentive and she hated how it seemed like he was giving more, but she just was not there yet. 

“I expected to see him with you today,” Dr. Eddison continued. 

“Yeah, I uh...I didn’t really know what to expect today, so I thought it would be best if I came alone.”

Dr. Eddison easily saw through Felicity’s answer. “Felicity, you can’t do these things by yourself. To begin recovering, you need support.”

“I know. Trust, I’ve said the same things to myself. Actually opening up is the hardest part. I really don’t know where to start.”

He scribbled down some letters and numbers before tearing the paper off and handing it to Felicity. 

Felicity read the name and number as he spoke aloud. “Caitlin Snow. She’s a friend and I think it would do you some good to talk to her.”

Caitlin Snow. Psychiatrist. Looking down at the information in her hands, all Felicity could see was herself lying back on a beige couch talking to a monotone shrink. 

“Don’t think of her as a shrink,” Dr. Eddison said as if he had read her mind. “She’s really great at her job. What you went through, Felicity, is traumatic. Anyone in your position would need someone to talk to. A sounding board that has no personal connection to you or Oliver. I think this would be good. Just think it over, will you?”

Slipping the paper in her purse, she straightened back up. “I’ll give her a try.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I have a question. Did you know us before,” she asked. “Oliver and I,” she clarified when he seemed a bit thrown off by the question. 

Dr. Eddison nodded with a hint of a smile. “Yeah. Not personally of course, but I knew of the two of you. Everyone did.”

Felicity bowed her head. “Yeah. Starling’s very own it couple,” she laughed humorless. “How did you know of us? Blue Jays fan,” she asked referencing Oliver’s career. 

“Contrary to a lot of people in this town, I’m actually a San Francisco Giants fan since I grew up there. But yes, I was familiar with Oliver from his baseball career. However, your endeavors were quite well known as well. You both were doing such great things.”

“And we seemed happy,” she asked. “Oliver and I?” She didn’t know why she was seeking her doctor’s approval, but we wanted to know how someone who wasn’t family and had no attachment felt about them. 

“The happiest,” Dr. Eddison answered. 

* * *

Home alone, Felicity didn’t know what to do with herself. Oliver had left a little earlier going to the grocery store. He asked if she wanted to come with, but she declined. Being out in public together didn’t exactly seem like the greatest idea because she was sure paparazzi was lurking and she couldn’t deal with that at all right now. Instead, she stayed back at the loft. 

The loft was quiet, eerily quiet as if it knew it finally had her in its clutches alone. As she walked around, it seemed as if all the pictures on the wall and meticulously strewn throughout the place called to her. Begged her to remember her life. 

Venturing into her office for the first time was something. She’d avoided it up until now. What she was scared of, she really didn’t know. As she walked into the office, she was met with what she expected her office to look like. It was a modern, but sleek look. Accented by pink decorations. Her desk was pushed against the wall, with a laptop and notebooks stacked high. Boxes were plied in the corners of the room. She must’ve been in between offices. Here at the loft and at the building she found. 

Crouching down to a box, she ripped it open to reveal numerous shirts with the company name and logo limited across the front. She thought of the picture of Oliver where he was wearing one. There were different colors and sizes. What had she purchased so many for? Picking one of them up, she shook it out and slipped it on her body. She let the loose material fall down around her. Running her hands along the soft feel. 

There was a mirror hanging behind the office door. Sweeping her hair to one side, she eyed herself in it. Smoak Technologies. A company that she formed. She built it from the ground up. An extremely hard feat. 

Relaxing in the shirt, she made her way over to the desk. Taking a seat, she swiped her finger against the surface collecting some of the dust that had settled there in her absence. Oliver really did mean that things were left just as she left them. It looked as if it hadn’t been disturbed in a long time. 

Running her fingers across the striped notebook atop, she gingerly opened it. It looked like an appointment book. Meeting dates were there with names she didn’t recognize. Curtis, Gerry, Cisco, Brie....and others. So many meetings and plans that amounted to absolutely nothing. All of these names jotted down, had surely moved on to something else in a year’s time. 

Going to the next book, she saw pages filled with ideas. She could picture herself working tirelessly under a dim light. Writing well into the dead of the night where her hurried scribbles came when her mind moved faster than her fingers allowed. 

As she read through the pages, she could feel her heart racing and a surge of energy rush through her. As she read and read, she could feel new ideas pop into her mind. For the first time, she felt light. She wasn’t bogged down by dread and regret and nervous uncertainty. 

Pushing away from the desk, she looked around the office once more. Grabbing the appointment book from earlier, she flipped until she found an address, she was desperately looking for. Once she found it, she ran out in search of her keys. 

~

Felicity inserted her key inside the lock, turned it to the left and twisted the doorknob. It still felt a bit eerie every time she stepped over the threshold into the loft. She could see Oliver in the living room as she walked further inside. 

“Hey,” she spoke softly. 

Oliver looked up at her and his eyes were distraught. He seemed disheveled and out of sorts as he talked on the phone. 

“Yeah, she’s here. Just walked in. Thanks.”

Felicity wondered who he could’ve been talking to and why they seemed to care where she was. She sat her purse down on the kitchen counter and walked it to the living room.  

“Where were you?” Oliver completely bypassed Felicity’s own question with one of his own. He hadn’t seen her since he left home that morning for the grocery store. He returned home and she was gone. That was almost eight hours ago. 

“I went to my old office building,” she said. 

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose and sucked in a deep breath. “Felicity, you’ve practically been gone all day without warning. I’ve called and left messages multiple times. I’ve been going crazy here thinking something happened to you. Maybe you got confused or lost. Anything.”

Felicity honestly had lost track of time and really didn’t realize just how long she was gone. She was so engrossed in her old things that it escaped her mind. She opened her purse and began digging around in her phone not understanding why she didn’t receive any of the messages. Picking it up, she saw it wasn’t turned on. “Oh. I didn’t realize my phone was off.”

“Felicity, you could’ve let me know where you were going beforehand. Left a note, a quick text. Anything. I returned from the store and you were nowhere to be found. What were you thinking?”

All type of scenarios played through Oliver’s  mind. He thought maybe she’d left and went back to Vegas, not able to handle it anymore. That was what he feared the most. But to learn that she just absentmindedly left for the day and didn’t think enough to make him aware upset him.  

“I wasn’t really thinking,” Felicity said in her defense “I just..I just wanted to feel like myself for moment. Go to a place where I don’t have to be someone I don’t know. Go to where things made sense and see if I could feel some normalcy again, and I did.” 

Being in her office and then in that office building was the most comfortable she’d been in weeks. Being surrounded by ideas and projects she’d been working on made her feel whole again. It took her mind off the reality of not having to be in constant confusion or a constant questioning of herself. 

Oliver was quiet. He didn’t speak a single word and the silence tormented Felicity. She never liked uncomfortable silence and this sudden steel silence between the two of them was borderline excruciating.

“Do you think you’re the only one who suffered? Do you think you’re the only one suffering now?”

His voice was soft when he finally spoke, but yet Felicity flinched as if Oliver’s voice was raised. She looked up at his clenched jaw and his sad hurting eyes where tears were now forming. She began to feel guilt assault the pit of her stomach. Instinctively and without thought, she stepped forward and reached her hand out to him. 

“Oliver...” 

Her fingers had just grazed the back of his hand when Oliver shook his head slightly and took a step back. The space was right back between them now. 

“It’s like you don’t get that you’re not the only one hurting,” he continued. “I lost you and thought you were gone forever. I essentially had to bury my wife without a body. Except I didn’t really lose you. You came back, but there was a catch. You don’t remember me. So now, I have to live with all of these memories. Not just mine, but your memories. I wake up every day to the reminder that you don’t know who I am at all. I’m practically walking around on eggshells in my own home because my wife can’t even look at me for longer than two seconds. Constantly reminded that she no longer loves me because she has no recollection of everything we’ve shared and been through together.”

His voice broke at the last sentence. The tears clogging his throat with his vocal cords struggling to release the words he didn’t want to say. 

“I’m sorry,” Felicity whispered. She knew those two words could do nothing to ease Oliver’s pain, but that was all she could mutter. She felt helpless and didn’t know what to really say or do. 

“I don’t need a sorry from you. I need you to at least attempt to try.”

“I am trying,” she shot back at him. 

“But you haven’t,” he quickly objected in disagreement. Oliver’s voice rose. The sad demeanor from earlier gone entirely. He was visibly upset now. He angrily sniffed the tears away and wiped at his eyes out of frustration. “You haven’t tried. You’ve been here for weeks and you’ve locked yourself away in the guest room. You’re keeping this wall between us by barely uttering five words to me, going to appointments without me. I’ve tried to be understanding and patient, but I’m tired. I get that you’re afraid of the unknown, but you haven’t even attempted to get to know the husband you still have.”

“I’m sorry,” she uttered again. 

“I don’t want your sorry’s,” he uttered. “Like I said I want you to try. Try for your husband who blamed himself for not being able to protect and save his wife. Try for all the people whose lives you impacted during those years and now they’ve lost you too. If not for me or them, at least do it for yourself. You won’t stop feeling like a ghost or stranger in your own skin until you confront your past and embrace your future.”

Felicity stood frozen. Oliver’s words had ripped into her like a tide. Each word laced with deep emotion and hurt and they rocked her. She had been so caught up in her own feelings that she didn’t think of how her actions could affect Oliver. She wanted to say something, but what? Her brain was only forming the phrase I’m sorry and that did nothing to help the situation.  

“I’m heading to bed,” Oliver announced. Felicity’s chance to say something was gone because Oliver was clearly done with the conversation. “Good night,” he forcefully said. 

Oliver didn’t spare Felicity anymore glances. He turned on his heels and walked away from her. Stopping in the living room, he grabbed his phone off the arm of the sofa and kept walking. He walked up the stairs until he was completely out of Felicity’s sight and she heard the closing of a bedroom door. 


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are still high between Felicity and Oliver. Felicity comes across a potential outlet for her feelings, while Oliver reaches a boiling point with his emotional state.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

“Felicity, sweetie. Oliver doesn’t hate you.”

Felicity adjusted the baseball cap on her head as she continued her slow stroll in the park. A baseball cap paired with shades kept her incognito from the press that she was sure lurking. And so far, so good. No signs of anyone peeping on her. She was enjoying the feel of outdoors while she sought advice from her mother over the phone.

“Okay, maybe not hate, but there is strong animosity there.” 

Things between them were at a standstill since the Felicity disappearance act. Oliver stayed to himself and Felicity did the same. Few words were spoken between the two, nothing more than was absolutely necessary. 

“You both need to communicate better,” Donna said. “That’s where the two of you need to start.”

“I know. I just... I don’t really know how to begin.” She didn’t know what steps to take first to reach Oliver. The iciness in the house certainly didn’t help things. “And he’s not being talkative right now because he’s still upset and I get it. I get why Oliver freaked out. In his position, I probably would’ve done the same. I’m just giving him his space right now.”

“The two of you had a year’s time worth of space. This time you may just have to reach out to him,” Donna said. 

“But how?” Felicity almost sounded like a child as she asked her mother for advice on a situation that didn’t occur every day. 

“I can’t tell you how. You’re going to have to find some common ground between the two of you.”

Felicity sighed as she listened to her mother’s advice. 

“I hear you,” Felicity said quietly. “I’ll let you get back to your lifetime movies now that I’ve monopolized mist of you time. Thank you for the ear and I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie,” Donna said. “Don’t forget that. Don’t forget that Oliver loves you too and that the two of you are going to get through this.”

Felicity sat to the bench and smiled a tearful smile at her mother’s words. They sounded so sincere and believable, and she silently prayed that they would ring true. 

~

Thirty minutes passed and Felicity sat in the same spot she did when she got off the phone with her mother. She let the sun shine down on her as she people watched. 

Sounds of laughter and happiness surrounded her. It had been so long since she actually laughed that she almost forgot what it felt like. Her eyes settled on a family of three. Mom, dad and toddler no more than two. The three of them looked picture perfect. She couldn’t help but to imagine that lady being her with Oliver walking alongside her and a giggling child on his shoulders. If the accident hadn’t happened, would she already be a mother? 

Question after question began tumbling into her mind. How long would her life be this way? How long would she not remember anything? How long would she question every single thing?

She knew the state of things were 

Deciding that it was time to head home 

“Oh!” Felicity yelped as her hands reached out for the person she practically bulldozed over. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. 

“It’s fine,” the voice spoke. 

In the melee yellow flyers had fallen to the floor. “Sorry,” Felicity apologized again as she crouched down to help the lady gather them. She picked up one of the flyers with the bold letters carving her eye. Dinah’s Place, it read. It was an advertisement for a new gym in town. 

“Looks pretty intense,” she said examining the picture of the lady in the midst of a workout. Her muscles were on display, pulled and taut in every place. 

“Thanks! Are you a member of a gym,” she asked. 

“No,” Felicity answered quickly. “I do nothing of the sort in the form of exercise,” Felicity laughed. “This walk today is even extreme for me.”

“Really? May I ask why?”

“I just never really quite liked it.” She said that presumably not having picked up a fitness life in the years she didn’t remember. “Beside it being scarily intense, I’ve just never gotten into it or given it a chance, to be honest. Plus trainers are like the military, no offense.”

“None taken,” she laughed. “Well I am not a drill sergeant. I don’t badger you. I don’t expect anyone to be on an expert level right away. I take my time with my clients and go at a speed that works for them, not me. I also don’t harp on people about their eating because everyone deserves some ice cream.”

Felicity nodded intrigued. This was a fitness pitch that she could get behind. “Interesting.” She looked the flyer over once more. 

“Might I add that I think fitness works best when you can use it as an outlet.”

“What do you mean,” Felicity asked. 

“As a way to relax, de-stress so to speak. Women have so much going on that it’s easy to get overwhelmed. I think exercise is a great way to take whatever you’re dealing with, love, work, family...whatever it may be, I think it’s a great way to put it all into a punching bag, a yoga mat or a set of weights. It eases your mind as well as your body.”

“Never quite heard it put that way.”

“Is there anything stressing you at the moment?”

“A lot actually.” That was an understatement.  She had an avalanche of stress on her shoulders. Instead of it easing off, it was actually growing it seemed. 

“You should stop by and check it out then. I even offer one on one lessons if that works better for you,” she said. “Dinah Drake,” she held her hand out. 

“Felicity Smoak.” 

It wasn’t intentional, but her maiden name slipped out before she had a moment to think. She didn’t want to add Queen to it now because that would just make things awkward. 

Felicity waited for Dinah to say something about her well known situation, but it never came. Dinah only gave her a nod and smile. Maybe her newness to town played into the obliviousness. And Felicity certainly welcomed it. This Dinah’s Place sounded like a good place to check out. 

“Hopefully I’ll see you soon, Felicity.” And with that Dinah breezed off continuing to pass out flyers along the way.  

* * *

Felicity chiseled away at the pink nail polish on her thumbnail as she chewed on it while she held her phone up to her ear impatiently waiting on her call to be answered. Just as she was about to hang up, the person on the other end finally answered. 

“Hello.”

“Hey!” Her voice was a lot louder than she intended. The shock of him answering threw her for a loop and when she heard his voice, she momentarily thought of when she saw him at her hospital room that first day. She calmed herself down and cleared her throat. “Hey, this is Felicity.”

She waited for John to acknowledge her and when he did, he instantly picked up on the worry in her voice immediately. “Hey, is everything alright?”

“I... I don’t really know. Is Oliver with you?”

“No, he’s not.”

Felicity sucked in a shaky breath. She didn’t know who else to call now. Calling his family crossed her mind, but she didn’t want to put unnecessary worry on them if it turned out to be truly nothing. John was the most reasonable option to her. She couldn’t say exactly why, but she just felt as if he was the best option.  

“Felicity,” John called her name. “I’m close by the loft and I can stop by. I’ll be there in five.”

“Okay.”

 A man of his word, John Diggle most certainly was. In five minutes, Felicity heard a knock on the door. She opened the door letting him in. 

Felicity hadn’t seen John since the first day in the hospital and she actually hadn’t spoken any words to him since her return. She was thankful that he didn’t seem to hold any animosity towards her. 

He stepped inside and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “What’s going on,” he asked.

Felicity walked into the living room as John followed behind her closely. She worried her hand against her forehead as she walked in circles. “I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but...,” she answered honestly. “I haven’t seen or heard from Oliver since this morning.” The time now was after nine at night, so that was over 10 hours ago. “I wondered if he might’ve been with you or if you had talked to him recently.”

“I haven’t,” John said. He and Oliver hadn’t talked as much lately because John was trying to give Oliver and Felicity their space together. “He didn’t say where he was going?” 

She’d thought about attempting to track his phone, but ultimately decided against it. They were already in a shaky place with one another and she didn’t want to invade his privacy in that matter. Instead, she sat. Waited and waited, but never got a call or message. 

“No.” Felicity sighed and dropped down on the sofa. 

She closed her eyes feeling the threat of hot tears. If this was how Oliver felt the other day, she understood why he was so pissed at her. 

“We had an argument a little while back and things have been a bit strained since,” she began to explain. Strained was putting it lightly. You could hear a pin drop in the house, it was so silent between them. 

“Oh,” John replied surprised. “He hadn’t said anything to me, so I assumed things were going okay.”

“Quite the opposite actually,” Felicity murmured. Feeling the wave of emotions start to trickle in, she tried to stop them but couldn’t. She heard John call her name and she willed herself to speak again. “I know he’s upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I’m just really worried.” Soft cries fell from her lips and tears leaked from her eyes. “I know that the two of you are close and he values your opinion, so maybe you can reach him.”

“Listen, just wait here and I’ll find him. I’ll call you when I find something out. Okay?” John pushed himself off the sofa with a determined stride. 

“John,” she hurried to call his name before he could get too far. He turned back to her and she gave him a sincere smile. “Thank you,” she said. “I really appreciate it.” 

John stepped back towards Felicity and she found herself walking into his arms. He engulfed her in a hug and it was as warm as it was comforting. He squeezed her tightly and she shut her eyes as she held onto him letting his spirit wrap around her. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” John said. “You never had to before and you certainly don’t now. Just hang tight.”

~

Starling City Police Department. That’s where the rogue Oliver Queen was. A place John never would’ve thought to look for him at. John stood back with his hands behind his back as the guard slid open the steel barred doors. Oliver was curled up in a ball on a the cold hard slab inside a holding cell. 

Not long after he ended the call with Felicity, Captain Quentin Lance called him and said he had Oliver down at the SCPD. He explained that he happened to be stopping by Verdant when he caught the tail end of a fight between Oliver and a patron. What started out as a simple disagreement, escalated due to alcohol being involved.

Lance convinced the guy’s friends to take him home without facing charges, and decided to bring Oliver back to the station to sober up a bit. 

Stepping inside, the doors loudly shut behind John causing Oliver to jump up at the sound. He stood up looking a bit bewildered before realizing it was only John. He sat down with a frustrated sigh because he knew what was coming next. 

“Jesus Christ, Oliver.” John took a look at his friend and shook his head in disappointment. Waking closer to him, Oliver looked worse than he thought,  and as if he had been on a binder. The messy clothes and a red spot firmly against his cheek were both evident. “What the hell were you thinking,” he asked.

Oliver cradled his heavy head in his palms. “I’m really not up for a lecture at the moment,” Oliver said. He roughly scrubbed his face as his head rang like bells were attached to his ears. 

“Fighting at Verdant,” John said with his voice full of disappointment. He could care less if Oliver was or wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. John never minced his words to Oliver, and he wasn’t about to start now. “Was Tommy there,” he asked. “Of course not, I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if he was.”

John was right. Oliver knew if Tommy had been there tonight none of these things would’ve transpired because Tommy would’ve cut him off long before he even had a chance to get to his fifth drink. But that’s why Oliver went, he knew Tommy wasn’t there to be his voice of reason.  

“Your wife called me,” John continued. “She was worried about you. What is this about you disappearing on her all day?”

“Honestly didn’t think she would notice,” Oliver laughed bitterly. 

“Also, said the two of you had a fight recently.”

“She actually talked to you. Well at least she’s talking to someone, even if it isn’t me.”

John roughly grabbed Oliver’s arm yanking him back up. “Don’t try that cold hearted indifferent bullshit on me,” John snapped. “I know you alright. I know you revert to this stupid and false personality of yours when you’re hurt. So, what don’t I know about?”

Oliver pulled back against John, but his grip was far too strong for Oliver’s physical state. Honestly, without the alcohol in his system, John’s grip would’ve been too strong. John jerked Oliver once more forcing him to look in his eyes. 

“Alright! Alright,” he said. John finally let him go and he rubbed at his arm. 

“What was the fight about,” John asked. 

“She disappeared on me the other day. She was apparently feeling suffocated by being back home, so she went to her office building to get away from me. I was upset, so I said some things I had been feeling and we just haven’t really talked as much since.”

“So, this was payback,” John questioned. 

“No,” Oliver was offended that John would think something like that. 

“If it isn’t, then why aren’t you returning the messages and calls she left you, huh? She said she called and texted you Oliver.”

“I guess I needed to get away too. I mean it’s like I’m living in a place I barely recognize anymore.”

“Oliver, that’s exactly how she feels. You can’t expect her to all of sudden be fine. She’s gone through something terrible and needs time to readjust.”

“I hear you,” Oliver groaned. He didn’t expect things to be as they were, but he did expect a sense of trying and so far it was nothing. “I know that and I’ve told myself over and over that her actions are normal, but I’m just angry. Don’t I have a right to feel this way?” He was angry about the situation and everything that resulted from it. 

“You’re mad, so you go and pick bar fights? What are you some kind of a spoiled frat boy?”

“I didn’t pick a fight. Yes, I went to drown my sorrows in a glass, but that guy obviously had other plans.”

“How exactly,” John questioned. 

“Someone asked for an autograph and a picture. I wasn’t in the mood, so I declined and the friend that had been drinking during the night started going at me.”

John felt like he had every right to decline a request. 

“He started with personal attacks. Talking about my career and skills, which I don’t care about. But then he mentioned Felicity and lost it.”

The words ‘your wife’ had barely left the guy’s lips before Oliver swung on him. 

“I know I should’ve ignored him, but I was already pissed off and reeling. He just made it worse and I took all my frustrations out on him.”

Oliver sat down rubbing his eyes. “Things are just so messed up,” he sighed. “I can’t handle this. I can’t take the way she looks at me. Like I’m a stranger and I know that I am to her, but I just..” Oliver’s words cut off as he shook his head in disbelief. “Our anniversary is in two days.” He laughed a humorless laugh. “Supposed to be celebrating a year of marital bliss. Instead, we’re two strangers living together. Roommates acknowledge each other more than we do.”

John sat next to Oliver and draped an arm around his friend. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it.” That put things more into perspective about Oliver’s feelings and actions. 

“What else can I do John? I’ve given her time, space, I don’t know how to reach her John.” Oliver sounded exhausted, weary and tired. “I honestly don’t know if I can.”

“You’re going to have to pull yourself together. You’re going to have to pull it together for the both of you. And when she’s ready, she’s going to come to you.”

* * *

The sound of a key entering the lock and the door twisting open made Felicity jump straight up from her seat on the couch. She’d been rooted to that spot once John texted her and told her that he had Oliver and would be bringing him home. She waited with baited breath since and didn’t breathe normally until she heard the door opening. 

Tentatively, she began approaching Oliver. “Hey...”

Her voice trailed off and her steps slowed as Oliver stepped inside. She got the chance to really look at him and he was looking worse for wear. His head was down and he was moving slow, like each step was measured so he wouldn’t tumble over. 

He closed the door and when he turned back around, Felicity really got the chance to really look at him. His clothes were disheveled, and she saw it seemed as if he’d been in an altercation. There was a red bruise on his cheek and he walked as if he was a bit disoriented. Felicity could smell the remnants of alcohol as he moved. 

Her body was moving on its own, she walked up to Oliver. “What happened,” she asked softly. Her hands reached out to him as she looked closer at him seeing the bruise. “And you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.” Oliver’s voice was low, hard and emotionless and he didn’t make eye contact with Felicity once. 

“Oliver, let me help you,” she argued in a pleading voice.  

“I don’t need anything from you.” Jerking his head away just as her fingertips brushed his skin, he grabbed her wrist stopping Felicity. “I just...”

Felicity opened her mouth to protest no more, but decided against it and let her hands fall to her side. She felt the threat of tears coming, but didn’t let them fall. She didn’t want him to see her cry.  

“I just need to go lie down.” Oliver mumbled his words moving past Felicity without a glance. He couldn’t have her doting on him now, only for things to revert right back to where they were the next moment. His head was pounding and his face was aching, so he couldn’t take any more pain of disappointment by looking into the eyes of a wife that didn’t recognize him. 

“Oliver,” she called out to him, but he only kept going as if she hadn’t uttered a word. Maybe he didn’t hear her because there was no force behind her voice. Like her vocals cords were wrapped around one another and she could barely get a sound out. But she knew the truth, he was ignoring her. 

Felicity leaned against the kitchen counter with her arms wrapped around herself as she watched Oliver retreat further and further up the stairs until he turned the corner and she heard the closing of a bedroom door. 

It mirrored the exact way he’d shut her out only days ago and now the same things was happening all over. 

Except this time Felicity could feel the pain of her heart ripping in two. Everything that had been occurring between the two of them was finally coming to a boiling point for her. 

She and Oliver were stuck in this seemingly cycle of hurt and misunderstanding. They both desperately needed something to change.


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity finally have a real conversation(s). A sense of normalcy begins to return to their lives.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

A resounding pounding in Oliver’s head woke him up. He cracked his eyes open just enough to glance at the time on his night stand. It was after ten in the morning. Normally he was up before eight, but last night events kept him in the bed. 

Rolling over onto his back, he rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hand as he remembered just what happened last night. Felicity immediately popped into his mind and he felt shame. Shame for his behavior and what he said to her. He could see the shock and hurt in her eyes when he pulled away from her and retreated to his room. He needed to apologize. 

Forcing himself out the bed, he walked to the bathroom, grabbed two Advil’s out of the medicine cabinet and filled a glass with water. He popped them in his mouth and took a swig of the liquid washing them down. Closing the cabinet, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. Complete utter shit. His eyes were red and puffy with bags underneath. 

Turning the water on in the shower, he jumped in and let the warm water beat down on him for as long as he could stand it. Stepping out of the steam filled room, he slipped into a pair of sweats and a simple tee. Even if he didn’t feel a whole lot better, he at least looked it. 

Emerging from his room, he could hear sound coming from the guest bedroom. Felicity was up and he couldn’t avoid the inevitable any longer, so he made his way to her room. 

Holding his hand up, he took a deep breath attempting to gather his swirling thoughts first, and then knocked. A couple of moments later, Felicity still clothed in her robe opened up. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes were expectant waiting on him to say why he was there. 

“Hey,” he forced out when his brain seemed to freeze. “May I uh... may I come in,” he asked. 

Felicity nodded and opened the door wider for him to walk through. She walked over and dropped down on her bed as Oliver stood awkwardly by the door unsteadily on his feet. The mixture of nervousness and remnants of the alcohol still in his system made him unable to stand still.  

Running a nervous hand over the back of his neck, Oliver shut his eyes and mentally formed his first sentence in his mind. He opened his eyes and Felicity sat patiently waiting on him. Clearing his throat, he began. “I want to apologize to you. For last night and for everything prior.” That included brushing her off, ignoring her calls and texts and shutting her out making her 

“It’s okay..”

Oliver shook his head not accepting Felicity’s attempt to let him off easy. “It’s not okay. I’m embarrassed about my behavior. The way I treated you last night and prior recently are nothing reminiscent of the guy who you fell in love with.”

Felicity’s eyes fell to her hands the moment Oliver mentioned the word love. She was still struggling with wrapping her mind around how deeply they were in love. 

“I know you don’t remember, and I would hate for you to think that’s the person I was. The drinking, the ignoring you and lashing out at you. To make you cry and I never liked to see you cry or sad even if I someone else was the culprit behind it. So for me to bring you to tears, I hate myself for it.” Oliver’s words were tumbling one right after the other. They were falling from his lips so fast, he was practically speaking in run on sentences. “To think that is how we were, I would hate for that to be the image of us when it’s not. We’re not like that at all. We talk to each other and I always treat you with the utmost respect.”

“Oliver.” Felicity stood and approached him. She reached out grabbing his hands in hers stilling them with a single touch. He quieted and she took it as her opportunity to speak. “I think the situation we’re in has room for out of character moments.”

“I just... I want us to begin moving forward and I would hate if I ruined it with my stupid behavior or by hurting you.”

Felicity didn’t think Oliver was mean or cruel. Sure, she had that moment where she questioned if he hated her, but it was an over-exaggeration on her own end. 

“I know it may not seem like it, but I do want us to move forward as well. To where exactly, I don’t know, but I do know we can’t keep staying in this frozen cycle we’re in,” she said. “Part of it has been my fault as well and it’s not nearly all on you.” 

“You forgive me,” he questioned. 

“Of course I do,” Felicity said. She stepped forward initiating a hug before she fully realized it and her arms were around his neck. “Thank you for apologizing. I forgive you Oliver.” 

Oliver stood frozen at the hug. He hadn’t expected a gesture like that, but he would certainly take it and not complain about it. His arms wrapped around her holding her close to him. He let out a deep sigh basking in the smell of her. It just felt right having her in his arms. Only the third time, he’d been able to touch her since her return.  

Oliver pressed the softest of kisses on Felicity’s cheek. She didn’t freeze or pull away from him, but he felt her lean into his touch and he counted it as a small victory even if he didn’t totally deserve it after his behavior. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

* * *

Oliver walked inside the loft and his nostrils were filled with what smelled to be smoke. A little concerned, he called out to Felicity.

“Felicity!”

“Everything’s fine!” He heard her yell back to him as he closed the door. “Kind of,” she added a little lower.

Turning the corner, he walked into the kitchen to find her with her back turned to him holding a pan of something severely charcoaled. 

“What’s happening here?” He couldn’t help but to let a light chuckle escape his lips as he looked at a clearly disappointed Felicity standing in the middle of the kitchen. 

“I was attempting to cook dinner.” She walked over and promptly deposited the - roasted potatoes, that’s what that was supposed to be - in the trash. She turned to him with a sigh and dropped her shoulders. “It’s our anniversary,” she said. She had wanted to do something special. Something that wasn’t an in your face celebration, but something that acknowledged what day it was. 

“Oh.” Oliver was stunned. “I just didn’t think we would do anything considering...”

“Yeah,” Felicity turned meeting Oliver’s surprised eyes. “I know you probably didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to seem as if you were pressuring me.”

That was exactly it. Oliver thought about mentioning it, but with the way things had been, he thought it would be better to just try to move forward without that reminder. 

“We’re finally getting to a good place, I didn’t want to risk it by putting too much on you,” he said. 

Felicity smiled appreciating Oliver’s approach, but the smile quickly faltered once she looked back at the scorched pan in her hand. 

“Sadly, now it looks like it will be nothing.” Her eyes wondered over the mess she’d made. “Thanks a lot Pinterest,” she mumbled. 

Oliver looked over the destruction in kitchen. He hadn’t noticed the other pans of burned dishes lining the counter when he first walked in. 

“I can whip something up,” he said. “Pasta maybe?”

Felicity stepped back and watched Oliver move into the kitchen with ease. He began checking to see what he could scrounge out of the refrigerator and cabinets, examining everything closely. In his arms Oliver had already gathered tomatoes, peppers, garlic and many other fresh herbs. Herbs that Felicity didn’t know what to do with. 

“You cook,” she asked surprised. “I mean really cook like from scratch and not the box.” She expected him to pull out some sort of kit where things were already assembled or semi put together. 

Oliver hadn’t prepared a meal since Felicity returned. So many people and restaurants from around town had taken it upon themselves to send over food and dishes celebrating Felicity’s return. It was a kind and sweet gesture, but he’d been itching to get back in the kitchen and this was a prime opportunity. 

As Oliver grabbed a box of pasta, he nodded at Felicity’s question with a laugh. “I do. I know it’s a bit unbelievable, but yeah. That’s actually one of the tactics I used to get you to go out with me.”

“I was that easy, huh?”

“Oh no,” Oliver quickly disagreed. “Quite the opposite actually.”

“But are you sure about cooking? I can at least clean up since I practically burned everything down.” She didn’t want him to have to do everything. 

“I’m sure,” he insisted. He took the dish from her and sat it in the sink. “Some of these are going to have to soak a bit anyway,” he gestured to the other pans. “Everything else can be tossed in the dishwasher and while it’s going, I can easily cook this.” He looked up at Felicity, his eyes going from her head to her toes. “Plus, this will give you time to get out of those clothes.”

Food was splattered against her shirt and pants, basically making it a moot point in using the apron she found. Untying the apron from around her waist, she laughed at herself. “This is so embarrassing,” she whispered. Also, she was pretty sure her hair smelled of smoke. “If you insist, I’ll go clean myself up and leave you to your domain.”

As Felicity hopped up the stairs, Oliver got the chance to really look at the kitchen. It was a disaster to say the least. It looked as if Felicity used almost every dish in the place. 

Oliver looked at the pork roast in the pan, there was absolutely no salvaging any of it. Grabbing the pan, he promptly tossed it in the trash. He could only laugh as he pushed his sleeves up and got to work. 

~

There was a weird energy swarming Felicity as she sat to her dresser brushing through her now dry hair. While in the shower, her mind endlessly wandered. It being her one year wedding anniversary with no recollection of it was bittersweet. She was thankful to be back and alive, but only if things could be different. 

There were constant reminders on social media of the date, so she couldn’t escape it even if she wanted to. Donna called to check on her like the concerned mother she was. She was sure Oliver was going through the same range of emotions and his family was there for him in the same way. 

And much to her surprise, Felicity was holding up well. No crying spells or breakdowns. No antsy feelings, just nerves as if she was getting ready for a first date. 

When she first thought of the idea to do something for their anniversary, she wrestled with it. She didn’t want to do too much, but she also didn’t want to seem as if she didn’t put any effort or thought into it. Knowing Oliver of recent, and the way things had been going with them lately, she knew he wouldn’t be the one to push the topic, so it would be on her to take it upon herself. To extend an olive branch so to speak. 

With one last look at herself, she headed out of her room. As soon as her feet hit the stairs, she got a whiff of the delicious aroma that made her mouth instantly water. 

“It smells so good in here,” she said as she stepped off the bottom step. The kitchen had been magically transformed after she practically bulldozed it like a trashed construction site. “A lot better than what I had going on.”

“Hey. You’re just in time,” he said. Oliver picked the bowl of bread up to bring into the dining area, but he stopped when his eyes landed on Felicity. “You look really nice,” he smiled. 

“Oh.” She looked over the simple dress she’d chosen to wear. It was nothing special, just a simple striped T-shirt dress. She didn’t even have on makeup, except for a simple gloss. “This is nothing special.”

“But still, you look nice.” He gestured towards the table for her to have a seat. 

“Thanks.” She sat down and looked at the display in front of her. A spread of pasta, salad and breadsticks were presented on the table. It all looked amazing. “Wow,” she exhaled. “Oliver, this looks great.”

They ate in silence for a couple of long beats. Neither one knew what to say or where to exactly steer the conversation. Just the sounds of quiet chewing, forks scraping against plates and glances where neither knew where to direct their eyes. 

“Did you really think you could cook,” Oliver asked breaking the silence. 

Felicity shrugged as she picked her fork up. “I thought maybe it was a skill I amassed in the last three years, and maybe it would come rushing back to me once I turned the stove on. Definitely not though. Can’t exactly blame that on the amnesia.”

She saw Oliver’s lips uptick in a strained smile. “Sorry, that was a terrible joke.”

“You mastered a lot, but never quite that and believe me, you tried.” 

Oliver didn’t say it, but Felicity standing in the kitchen earlier made him reminisce of the many moments she attempted to try her hand at the stove. It would always end up being a disaster, but they would have fun and joke about it. 

“So, you said you got me to agree to a date with you because of your cooking? How exactly?”

Oliver nodded as he took a sip of his water. “Yeah,” he put his glass down. “When you were shooting me down, I was throwing out random facts about myself in an attempt to find something to make you say yes. I told you I could cook, but you didn’t believe someone who grew up like I did could.”

“I assume you proved me wrong?”

“I certainly did.”

“How? Tell me how,” Felicity said enthused. 

“Once you agreed to go out with me, I had Tommy close Verdant for me and I invited you. I cooked a four course meal for you that night.” Oliver remembered it like it was yesterday. Cheese puffs for the appetizer. Lemon garlic salmon with zucchini noodles for the main course and chocolate mousse for desert.

Felicity stared at Oliver as he named off what he did for her. “That was our first date,” she asked in disbelief. “I never would’ve guessed that.”

Oliver nodded proud. “It was. I went all out for you.”

“You treat all your first dates like that?”

Oliver chuckled at the hint of jealousy he could hear in Felicity’s voice. “No, you were the very first and certainly the last.”

Honestly, Oliver had never cooked for a date before, much less, another woman. He couldn’t believe the IT girl he found himself thinking of nonstop since their first meeting had him sweating over a stove for hours, while she sat patiently watching.

Felicity smiled to herself proud that she got someone to go above and beyond for her. Something of that grand nature and gesture was reserved for a big celebration, but she managed to get it for a first date. Saying yes to him for a second date had to have been a no brainer after that. 

“And now you’re cooking for me again,” Felicity smiled. Felicity could see a twinkle in Oliver’s eyes as he looked at her with a smile.

“Like I said, the first and the very last.”

“And how exactly did you learn your way around the kitchen,” Felicity questioned. From the knowledge she had of Moira, she didn’t seem like the cooking type. 

“Raisa, our housekeeper when I was younger, was very insistent on me learning. She didn’t want me to be a spoiled man who relied on a woman or chef to cook me a simple meal.” Oliver laughed repeating Raisa’s words. 

Felicity nodded as she swallowed the pasta. “Which proved to be a valuable life lesson considering you ended up with me.”

Oliver laughed loudly before he managed to quiet it to a stifle. 

“What’s so funny,” Felicity asked. 

“Raisa actually said the same thing when she met you.”

Felicity’s eyes widened before she laughed. “Is she still here in Starling,” she asked. 

“No, after Thea graduated, she moved back to Russia, where she’s originally from. She came back for our wedding, but you met her at our rehearsal dinner.“

“Oh. Did she like me,” Felicity blurted out.

“Yeah,” Oliver answered quickly. “She said everything else about you outweighed your cooking skills.”

Felicity smiled with a laugh. “Well when you talk to her again, you can tell her I almost burned the loft down.”

"She won't exactly be surprised. This isn't the first time you've have a mishap in here."

Felicity broke off a piece of bread rolling it between her fingers as she and Oliver grew quiet once more. She looked at him, and the spot where his face held a bruise was pretty much healed now. 

“Are you ever going to tell me what exactly happened with you the other night?”

Oliver wiped his mouth with his cloth napkin and sighed. “It was senseless,” he said. Shaking his head, he reprimanded himself. “I had one drink too many and I let someone get under my skin.”

“Oliver, please tell me. I’ve been trying to rack my brain as to what would go make you pick a bar fight...”

“I didn’t pick the fight. I wanted to escape for like an hour and this guy started being a jerk. I would’ve walked away, but then he mentioned you. And I’ve never been great about people using you to take shots at me.”

Oliver could control his temper. He didn’t even really think he had one, but his family and Felicity were always off limits. He could remember when he first made his relationship with Felicity public and in sports, your significant other was an easy target for people to use to get under your skin. A player on the opposite team would say something about Felicity, even the smallest of things and they would usually end up in a fight on the mound. 

“What did he say?”

“Don’t know,” Oliver shrugged. “I punched him before he really got the chance to say anything.”

“Oh.”

“I’m just really protective of you. I’ve always been considering you came from a different world than me. Despite being with me, you’ve always been reserved and steered clear of the notoriety that came with my last name. And now especially after everything, it’s amplified."

Felicity smiled to herself at Oliver’s words. The sincerity in his voice and tone. “Thank you, but please try not to get into any more fights.” She didn’t understand how they lucked out this time without the media getting wind of what happened, but she wouldn’t consider themselves so lucky next time. 

Oliver held his hands up like an innocent child. “I promise,” he smiled at her. 

Felicity cleared her throat and pushed her plate away from her. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the table looking up to meet Oliver’s eyes. “There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

“Yeah?”

“When I went to see Dr. Eddison, he gave me a recommendation for a therapist. Caitlin Snow.” Felicity saw that Oliver didn’t seem to recognize the name and continued talking. “He highly recommends her, and I’ve been thinking about going.”

“That’s good,” Oliver said. “A professional may be easier to open up to about everything.”

“I was actually thinking you could go with me,” Felicity hesitantly offered. “We both have a lot of pent up feelings and are trying to work through things as best as we can, that I think it would be good for the both of us to go together.” Oliver’s movements ceased and he looked up meeting her eyes. Felicity gave a small shrug when Oliver didn’t say anything. “That’s if you would like to. I mean...”

“I would.” Oliver interrupted her before she could get the chance to give him an option to not go. “I would like that a lot.”

Relieved, Felicity smiled widely. “Okay. Good. I’ll call and make an appointment.”

* * *

Dr. Caitlin Snow’s office building was located in downtown Starling. That called for over a 30 minute drive. The entire car ride Felicity’s nerves had been going haywire. Her leg bounced and she picked at her fingernails until the moment Oliver pulled into a parking space. The entire ride, Oliver didn’t say a word. He only quietly glanced toward Felicity every so often. 

When they made it to the office, Felicity was the first to bolt out of the car. She ran her hands over her clothes leaning against the car letting our slow breaths. Oliver stepped out and could see the nervousness still surrounding Felicity from head to toe. 

Hurrying to her side of the car, he called to her softly. “Hey.” He gently griped her shoulders and ran his hands down her arms until he grabbed both of her hands in his. “Are you sure you’re alright? If this is too much for you or too soon, we can leave. Try again some other time.”

Felicity looked down at their hands together   
 She knew if she didn’t do this today, there wouldn’t be a next time. She needed to do it. They both desperately needed this. 

“No,” Felicity declined. Pushing her straight hair behind her ears, she took a deep calming breath centering herself. “I’m fine, thank you. I can do this.”

They made it into the building onto the fourth floor. Stepping off the elevators together, they were greeted by a lone receptionist sitting in the middle of a massive office space. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Queen,” she greeted them. Her smile was bright and her voice was rehearsed, but friendly only in the way the best receptionists spoke. “You two can follow me. Dr. Snow is expecting you.”

They were escorted to a room where Dr. Snow was waiting for them. She was younger than either of them expected. They would place her around their age. A contrast to the image Felicity built in her mind of an older woman with a wool skirt, with her gray hair pulled into a taut bun. 

Caitlin showed them to a plush sofa for a seat and offered them water, that they both declined. She told them to give her one minute to gather the rest of her things and she would be right with them. 

“Hey,” Oliver whispered to Felicity quietly. “If it gets to be too much, just say the word and we’ll leave. Alright.”

Felicity nodded. She was thankful for his constant checking on her. To others it might’ve been annoying or grating, but to her, it was much needed. It helped to calm her knowing that he would follow her lead at any given second. 

“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice Dr. Snow,” Felicity spoke when she re-entered the room. “We really appreciate it.”

“First, I want to express my deepest condolences to the both of you for what happened. Also, please call me Caitlin, I insist,” she responded. “I’m happy to help in any way that I can. I’m here for you. I’m sure the two of you’re very busy, so let’s get to it, shall we?” 

She grabbed her notebook from the table next to her. Flipping it open, she quietly read over her notes for a moment. 

“I spoke with Dr. Eddison,” she began. “He’s made me quite aware of your case. So, tell me what is it that the two of you want to accomplish for your first day here?”

Oliver spoke first. “We hit sort of a rough patch here recently. We had an argument that led to some things being said...”

“When you say rough patch, what do you mean?”

“It was mostly my doing,” Oliver said. “I was lashing out and by doing that I was indirectly blaming Felicity for the way things are.” He looked to her momentarily before continuing. “I was so caught up in wanting things to be like they were, that I wasn’t being there for her in the way that I should’ve been.”

“Felicity, do you agree?”

“On what exactly,” she asked. 

“On the rough patch?”

“Yes,” she said apprehensively. “But to correctly talk about the rough patch, I think we should talk about it as a whole. Put it in perspective.”

“Go ahead. Tell me 

“When I first returned home, I shut him Oliver out. Barely talked and didn’t look at him for too long. I avoided him.”

“You retreated into yourself? Why,” Caitlin asked.

“I could tell when Oliver looked at me he was seeing the version of me that was no longer there. A version of myself that I don’t know, so I basically ran. I avoided him, so that I wouldn’t get that look,” she admitted. “Oliver, he tried and I think it was only human for 

“An outburst?” Caitlin looked to Oliver. 

“I went out and got drunk,” he said ashamed. “I still feel terrible about it all.”

“It sounds as if you’re insistent on taking on all the blame for things and have a hard time of letting it go, Oliver. Why is that you’re taking the blame for everything?”

“I’m her husband,” he answered simply. “As her husband, I am that one that is supposed to protect and shield her, I promised that. If it came down to it, I would trade my life for hers in an instance. No questions asked. Like with the boat accident, I wasn’t able to protect her.”

“But in that particular instance Oliver, there was nothing you could do. You can’t compete with the tides.”

“There’s always more you can do,” he said. “I could’ve held onto her tighter. I could’ve searched for her some more. I don’t know, I just could’ve done something.”

“You blamed yourself?” Felicity’s voice was low as shock illuminated her face. Hearing Oliver’s true and honest feelings that he’d been holding inside, shook her to her core. “I didn’t know you carried that with you all this time.” 

Oliver looked to Felicity with a nodding shrug. “I survived and you didn’t,” he said. “That’s how I viewed it until you came back. And then when I learned of your amnesia, those feelings came right back.”

“Is that why you gave up your career, Oliver?” Caitlin’s voice called his attention. “Guilt?”

“Partly,” he answered honestly. “I couldn’t go back to just living my life. It didn’t feel right. Nothing in my life no longer felt right without her by my side.”

“Wow,” Felicity breathed. “Oliver, that’s too much of a burden to carry. I don’t. I don’t know what to say.”

“Felicity, is there anything you would like to admit?”

She thought carefully on the question for a moment before she opened her lips and let the truth flow from them.  

“I’m scared of the unknown,” she said. “Because I have no recollection of this life or anything of the last three years, I’m a bit afraid that the deeper I dig, I may not like what I find.”

Leaning forward, Caitlin stared directly into Felicity’s eyes. Her gaze was so intense, Felicity sat back even though there was no more room to move. 

“Felicity, until you start to pull those layers back, you won’t begin to heal. A wound can’t heal properly unless you begin to treat it. You have to open yourself up and be willing to accept these new spaces into your life.”

The visit with Dr. Snow went on only a half hour longer totally at an hour visit. She stated that she didn’t want to overwhelm them with their first visit. They made another appointment to come and see her in two weeks’ time. The fourteen days would give them time to work on what they spoke of today, and some of the pointers, she gave them going forward. 

As they walked out the office, Oliver and Felicity both felt a lot better and lighter than they did when they walked in. 

 ~

It felt good to step into Big Belly Burger, a lad that Felicity recognized. A place that wasn’t exactly a mystery. She was sure there were moments she shared in many of the booths that she didn’t remember, or people she had conversations with that she had no recollection of, but to see a place with some familiarity was welcomed. 

“It still looks the same,” she said the door closed behind them. 

“The food is still great, I can promise that,” he leaned down whispering to her. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Felicity saw a woman with a smile heading towards them.  

“Oliver! Hi, it’s so good to see you again,” she exclaimed. She pulled him into a tight hug and Felicity could see the mutual affection between the two of them.

“Good to see you too Carly,” Oliver said as he embraced her. 

“Gosh, it’s been too long. I always asked John about you wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”

“It was always appreciated,” Oliver said. 

Oliver of course knew Carly through John and he would tell him whenever Carly asked about him or would pass messages along from her. Oliver appreciated it in all honesty. He and Felicity spent a lot of time at Big Belly Burger and along the way, Carly became someone they considered a friend. 

Felicity stood to the side feeling awkward and not really knowing what to do while Oliver and this woman talked. She glanced around the restaurant feeling a few set of eyes on her and Oliver. Instinctively, she stepped closer to him wanting to shy away from the attention.

Oliver could feel Felicity retreating into herself, so he reached out slipping his hand into hers with a gently squeeze. A tactic he found that seemed to calm her when she felt nervous or overwhelmed. “It’s okay,” he whispered only for her to her before turning back to the Carly. 

“Felicity, this is Carly Diggle. She’s John’s sister in law and the owner of this establishment.”

Carly turned to Felicity with warm eyes and just as warm as a demeanor she had while talking to Oliver. Felicity no longer felt like an outsider in their circle. 

“It’s good having you back home beautiful. So good to see your smiling face again,” she said to Felicity. 

“Thank you,” Felicity smiled. “And it’s nice to...,” Felicity paused collecting her thoughts. This wasn’t the first time she was meeting Carly. It was a reintroduction of sorts. “Nice to see you again as well,” she said. 

Carly gave her an understanding smile before looking toward the back. “I should get back, I just wanted to personally come and speak to you two.”

As Carly walked away, Felicity glanced around and saw the same set of eyes on her and Oliver trying not to make it obvious that they were staring and watching all of their interactions. 

Oliver called her name softly prompting her to look at him. “If you want we can take this back home. We don’t have to eat here,” he said. 

“No,” she declined. She shook her head and gave an assured determined nod. “I can’t hide away forever. Sooner or later, I need to reacquaint myself with being in the public. This is me moving forward and this is us moving forward.”

Felicity took a deep breath centering herself. She didn’t even notice that her hand was still holding onto Oliver’s until he led them over to a table for a seat.

“I can’t count the number of times, I would come here after working late hours and my order would never change. The...”

“Big Belly Buster with extra pickles,” they said in unison.

Felicity bowed her head as she chewed at her bottom lip as Oliver smiled at her.

“I basically became your supplier at one point for this place,” he said. 

Felicity laughed heartily. “Well it’s good to see that didn’t change.”

Oliver wanted to laugh, but something about Felicity’s phrase struck him. The word change. It didn’t settle right with him. Just like when she said she was afraid she may uncover things about herself. “Felicity, do you.. Do you think I changed you,” he asked. 

“I... “ Her words faltered a bit as she shrugged. “There’s just so much of me that’s unknown.”

She wasn’t putting into words what exactly her mind was formulating, but Oliver seemed to have picked up on what she was thinking. 

“You’re seeing the change as a bad thing,” he began. “I understand it’s because you can’t remember, but trust me when I say that we both changed. It was nothing malicious or any ill intent behind it. And it certainly wasn’t one sided.”

He reached over and grabbed Felicity’s hand across the table. 

“You changed me for the better,” he continued. “Before you, I had no clue as to what I was doing. I was just this hot shot athlete that was basking in being the king of Starling, so to speak.”

His thumb stroked the back of her hand as he spoke from his heart saying words that he said so many times before, but didn’t care that he had to say them once more. He would repeat them until he was blue in the face if he had to. 

“I met you and you centered me. You brought a calmness that I didn’t know I needed to my life. In return, I got you to open up a little more. In return, I gained the greatest gift you could ever give me by agreeing to be my wife. Don’t see the last three years as change, see it as growth. For both of us.”

Felicity felt coolness hit the tip of her nose and she realized tears were slowly falling from her eyes. Oliver reached over and brushed them away from her cheeks. His touch was soft and tender and she didn’t pull away as his fingers lingered against her skin.  

* * *

 

The carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream had been calling Felicity’s name since dinner. Unfortunately, she was too full after leaving Big Belly Burger to indulge in the chocolate goodness. It seemed to be more filling now than she last remembered, maybe because she hadn't had it in such a long time. As it got later and later in the evening and into the night, she tried to fight the urge because eating ice cream right before bed was never good. 

Except the craving was too intense and it prompted her out of her sleep. Determined to scratch the itch, Felicity crawled out of her bed at 2 am in the morning and tiptoed her way into the kitchen. 

Grabbing a bowl and softly closing the cabinet hoping not to wake Oliver, she quickly grabbed a spoon and popped the container open. Licking her thumb, she sat down on the stool to the island and dug in. Closing her eyes, she indulged in the cool and sweet taste. As she went for a second, third, fourth and fifth spoonful, she heard her name being called. 

“Felicity...”

The sound of her name scared the living daylights out of her and she practically jumped out of her skin. The bowl flew out of her grasp and the ice cream splashed all over her shirt. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” A laugh escaped his lips at how she practically jumped out her seat. 

“Jesus Christ! Are you a ninja or something?” She looked up and saw Oliver standing there bare-chest and with sweats hanging low on his waist. “I.. I didn’t hear you come in,” she stammered now distracted by him. 

It wasn’t lost on Felicity that Oliver was attractive. He was something more than attractive. He had muscles popping out of his chest and arms. His stomach was very chiseled with washboard abs. Gosh, she’d really managed to snag herself a Greek god. 

“Sorry, I heard something and came to see what it was,” he said as Felicity just started back at him not blinking. “The ice cream,” he pointed at her shirt. 

“Oh.” Felicity’s head snapped down to her shirt as she regained focus. The ice cream was dripping down her shirt. Grabbing a couple of napkins, she dapped at her shirt, but they were only sticking not achieving much. “Shoot, I need to change.”

Oliver looked around and saw one of his shirts resting on the arm of the couch. Snatching it up, he hurried and gave it to her. “Take this.”

“Thanks.”

When Oliver turned around, Felicity slipped out of her shirt and into his. She stretched the shirt over her head and got a whiff of Oliver’s scent. It smelled just like him. The smell that would slip in her nostrils when she sat close to him or when he passed by her. The scent she smelled the few times his arms was around her since she was back. Closing her eyes, she sighed breathing it in and suddenly she felt warmth all over her. It felt familiar and it felt like home. was like a mixture of woody musk that smelled wonderful. 

When he turned back around, Oliver tried to minimize the threatening smile on his face. Seeing Felicity in one of his shirts moving around in the kitchen brought back more memories. As she cleaned up the spilled ice cream and got more, his eyes followed her every move. She was wearing shorts, but with the size of his shirt, it seemed as if her legs were bare.  

Oliver snapped out of his trace to see Felicity offering him a spoon. 

“Share with me,” she said and pushed the bowl in the middle of counter. 

Oliver took the spoon and pulled a stool next to Felicity. He stuck his spoon in the ice cream getting as small of a scoop as he could. “You know I never quite liked this stuff. 

“It’s amazing,” Felicity argued. “How can you not?”

“I’m more of a cookies and cream guy myself.” 

“That kind is okay,” Felicity said. “It doesn’t compare to this perfection, but it’s not a terrible choice.”

“You know what’s funny, I used to always catch you sneaking some kind of desert late at night. Cake, ice cream, cookies…it didn’t matter.”

“Blame my mother for my sweet tooth,” she laughed. “Matter of fact she’s responsible for all my bad eating habits,” she joked. “None of it is on me.”

“You’re innocent, huh?”

“Purely,” Felicity said as Oliver laughed. Looking at the bowl between them. “I hope you know that you have to finish this bowl with me since you made me spill my first one.”

Oliver took another spoonful, slipping it into his mouth. “Anything for you,” he mumbled. He forced a smile as he swallowed the minty chocolate.

Felicity couldn’t stop laughing at the clear uncomfortableness and dislike on Oliver’s face despite his attempts to hide it.

“You’re cute,” Felicity laughed.

Laughs filled the kitchen bouncing between the two of them filling the loft with happiness. The therapy, dinners together and just talking to one another made everything easier. There was a lightness between them and they'd settled into a comfortable ease. It gave both of them hope that things were finally turning around for the best. 

When Felicity finally returned to the bed for the night, she slept as best as she had since being back. She drifted off to sleep with Oliver’s scent and shirt surrounding her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See. I told you guys to hang in there! Things are looking up!


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new arrival gives Felicity and Oliver something to bond over. Felicity begins to reacquaint herself with people she once considered friends and family.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

Felicity stuffed her gloves, headphones and towel into her Nike gym bag while Dinah put the rest of the equipment away. The day’s workout was complete.

It was the third week of her foray into the exercise world and Felicity had to admit that she was actually enjoying working out. For an hour and a half, her mind was on nothing but the training mat, the punching bag and the awakening feel of muscles she didn’t know she had. No thoughts of her past life, forgotten memories, things with Oliver...nothing but the exercise had her attention. It was a peaceful relaxation that Felicity looked forward to three times a week.

There were no complaints from Felicity about Dinah Drake and her teachings. She was very engaged and fun in her lessons, skilled and knowledgeable, and being friendly also helped. There was one thing that bugged Felicity and gnawed at the back of her mind. Not once had Dinah mentioned the elephant in the room of who Felicity really was.

Throwing her bag over her shoulder, Felicity approached Dinah calling out to her. “May I ask you sort of a weird question?”

Dinah straightened with a nod. “Sure. Shoot.”

Felicity opened her mouth and closed before she could get a word out. She was trying to think of way not to make the question so awkward, but she quickly realized it was pointless. The question would be weird and strange, so just blurt it out.

“Do you really not know who I am,” she asked. Felicity hated how conceited and pretentious it sounded. As if she was throwing her name and weight around.

Dinah looked confused for a moment then quickly regained her composure.

“Oh, you mean the whole town celebrity ordeal,” she responded. “Truthfully, I didn’t realize it when I first met you,” Dinah answered honestly. “It didn’t register until I was in the grocery store one day and I saw one of those little magazines over the gum display.”

“Ah, yes! Those lovely tabloids.” Felicity stayed away from those. She didn’t particularly care to read about herself anymore. The research she had done early on was quite enough. The stories about her and Oliver were all very extreme and off the wall.

“With me being new in town and to be honest, I choose not to keep up with celebrities, so I knew absolutely nothing about the two of you. I don’t watch the news either, so I wouldn’t have seen it on television. However, I will admit to googling you after and that is when I learned what happened.”

Felicity nodded satisfied with Dinah’s answers. She seemed trustworthy and honest. It could be Felicity’s willingness to always give people the benefit of the doubt, but she saw no reason to be skeptical of Dinah. Not to mention, the background check she personally ran on her before their first session, gave her room for comfort. There was absolutely nothing alarming about her. Honestly, Felicity welcomed a friendly person that was someone who didn’t know her before everything hit the fan.

“And you said nothing,” Felicity pondered.

“It was none of my business,” Dinah shrugged. “You didn’t give me the information, so I saw no reason to accost you about it. If you wanted me to know, you would’ve offered it over to me like you are now.”

“But the information you learned, is that why you decided to do one on one classes with me,” Felicity questioned.

Dinah nodded. “Even if I didn’t know, I knew other people in town would more than likely knew, and I’m sure it’s not an easy topic to talk about with anyone, not to mention a stranger who’s yelling out punch combos to you or other women looking to gossip.” Felicity nodded as Dinah continued. “So yes, I suggested the one on one classes to keep you away from prying and invading eyes. I wanted to give you a place you could come to and have some peace of mind and work off the stress that I could tell you were carrying around.”

Felicity felt the need to hug Dinah. She didn’t actually do it, but she could’ve. It might not have seemed like a big deal, but what she did was so selfless and sweet. The first day Felicity met Dinah and pondered her offer, she worried about the group glasses. But once she contacted Dinah to get more information, she offered her the personal sessions before Felicity could even mention them.

“I don’t know what to say,” Felicity said. “I really appreciate you doing that for me.”

“It’s nothing. As an instructor, I’m here to help my clients in the best way possible.”

Felicity wanted to thank Dinah in some way. Granted, she was paying for the classes, but she wanted to do something more personal. Seeing as to how she actually enjoyed Dinah’s company so far, she figured she would ask her if she wanted to get a drink. It was a small gesture, but she could at least get know her a little better that way.”

“Are you busy after this? If not, can I buy you a drink or something. I want to show my thanks some kind of way,” she suggested. “What’s acceptable after a workout?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Dinah jokingly said. “Some experts say a juice, some say smoothies. Dinah personally likes this specific type of protein shake,” she pointed to herself. “If you’re game for it. I’ll introduce you to it, but I will warn it has an acquired taste.”

“I’ll try something at least once,” Felicity laughed. “Lead the way.”

~

Felicity dropped her gym bag along with her keys in the corner of the room as she walked into the loft.

“Oliver, are you home?”

“Yeah. I’m in the kitchen,” his voice called back out to Felicity.

Inching around the bend, Felicity peeked to see Oliver in the refrigerator grabbing a bottled water. As he turned around, she yelled out to him.

“Surprise.” In her hands she held a small puppy up with an excited smile. “Isn’t she adorable,” she said. “It’s a cavoodle puppy.”

First, Oliver could only stare in response at Felicity standing in the entryway. She held the puppy up higher with a wiggle. Oliver had to laugh at the happiness and excitement radiating off of Felicity. A wide smile stretched across her face and her eyes shone brightly as she looked from the dog to him. He laughed in response as the shock finally began to wear off.

“Where.. where did you get a puppy? I thought you were just going to the gym.”

“I can explain.” She tucked the puppy into her arms scratching its neck with her fingers. “Dinah and I went to Jitters after the gym and when we were leaving, we walked up on this lady selling them. This one made eye contact with me and I couldn’t resist. I mean look at her.”

The dog yelped a bark in response as if it could understand what Felicity was saying.

“She’s had her shots and all. She’s perfectly healthy. Unless the lady was lying, but she looks very healthy to me.”

Felicity put the puppy down on the floor and it immediately ran off running around in circles. Making its way over to Oliver, she sniffed at his feet before nestling her nose into his pants and resting next to him.

“See. She likes you already.”

“Can we take care of a dog,” Oliver asked. “Do we trust ourselves enough for that?”

“I’ve never had a pet before, but I’ve always wanted one I think. You?”

“I mean I thought about it before, I just never had the time with baseball and things. Also, I kind of pictured myself with something a bit more...ferocious. It’s so small and little.”

“You’re such a guy,” Felicity laughed. “She may be tiny, but it’s still a dog.” Felicity walked into the kitchen pleading her case. “We could take her on walks together and stuff. I think it’ll be good for us,” she said. Dr. Snow mentioning getting something they could both bind over and a puppy seemed like a good idea.

Oliver had to agree on Felicity’s reasoning. It was good to see her wanting to get out more and a puppy would help with that. “Alright. We have a puppy.”

“Yes,” Felicity whispered with a small fist pump.

“We’ll have to get her some supplies and things. We can all take a shopping trip together in a little while. We’ll let her familiarize herself with the loft first.”

Oliver grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and placed it on the floor. He poured some of the water from his bottle inside and the puppy quickly scurried over to the bowl lapping it up.

Felicity leaned against the counter watching the tail happily wag. “What should we name her,” she asked Oliver. “I figured we could name her together.”

“Furball,” Oliver said with a smirk. “Just kidding,” he laughed when Felicity shot him an unamused look.

“That’s mean,” she laughed.

Oliver leaned back against the counter next to Felicity with a thoughtful shrug. The puppy drank the water with so much intensity, the gravity pulled her face forward into the bowl. Her back legs helplessly wiggled up in the air.

“She seems full of personality already,” he laughed. Walking over to the puppy, he sat her back upright as she shook herself. Stroking the soft fur across her back, Oliver looked at how bright the brown actually was. “Her coat is beautiful,” he said.

“It’s vibrant and rich. It reminds me of  
something.” Immediately an idea popped in her mind. “Butterscotch. That’s what we should name her. Her coat looks like the color of butterscotch candy.”

“Butterscotch,” Oliver repeated with a frown. “That name is...”

“I know it’s super frilly and girly, but look at her. We can’t exactly name her something like Dagger, or whatever ferocious name you’re thinking of.”

Oliver was trying to think of something with a little more umph behind it. But looking at the playful eyes and joyful radiance bouncing off the dog, he knew it was pointless to argue.

“Fine. I was never able to say no to you,” Oliver quickly gave in as Felicity peered at him with a hopeful smile. “Butterscotch it is.”

  

* * *

Resting back against the couch with Butterscotch relaxed in her lap belly up, Felicity was as comfortable as could be with the added weight atop of her. This position had become little Butterscotch’s favorite position since Felicity brought her home. Resting on her back so she or Oliver could scratch her belly. And as much as Oliver hated to admit it, Felicity knew that he was crazy about little Butterscotch. All she had to do was look at him with those big eyes and he was picking her up in his arms.

It had only been a week, and Butterscotch had officially taken over the loft. Someone’s lap was her favorite place to lay instead of the massive bed she and Oliver bought for her. Granted, Felicity might’ve gone a little overboard, but Oliver said yes to every idea she had and they spent way more than she wanted to admit in the pet store.

Butterscotch jumped to attention at the sound of Oliver coming down the stairs. Her tail wagged in excitement as she heard Oliver’s keys in his hands. The outside was her second favorite place to be and she didn’t get enough of walks or running around.

“Where are you going,” Felicity asked him. Butterscotch jumped down and ran over to Oliver in anticipation.

Bending over, he scooped Butterscotch up in his arms. “Verdant,” he answered Felicity. “Tommy called. He wants to get my opinion on a couple of things.”

When Verdant first opened, Oliver was involved in different aspects of the place. Even though he was hands off for the most part, Tommy still valued his opinions. Oliver slipped away from Verdant just as he did with everything else once things happened. Now that circumstances were turning around, he figured he could go back to being more present.

“Can I come with,” Felicity asked. “I vaguely remember Verdant. It would be nice to see it again. See Tommy as well.”

A bit shocked, Oliver looked up. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I think I’m at a good point to reacquaint myself with people I was once close to.” The idea made her a bit nervous, but she needed to do it.

Oliver smiled. “I would love for you to come. I’m sure Tommy will be happy as well. It’s closing hours, so don’t worry about seeing any patrons.”

Oliver carried Butterscotch over to her area and placed her down with a belly rub. “We’ll be back. Please don’t tear the place up while we’re gone.”

 ~

Felicity removed her shades as she stepped inside the swanky place. “So, this is Verdant,” she said. “It’s really nice.” She took a look around and she could see the appeal. There was a bar, an essential in any top hangout spot. Plasma televisions were mounted on the wall. Across the way was an entertainment area with three pool tables, darts along with different types of leisure games. Another part held a luxurious dining area. It was not at all what Felicity was expecting.

“I always thought it was just a generic sports hangout,” she laughed.

Taking his keys from the door, Oliver laughed behind her. “Trust me, I quickly learned that.”

As they walked further inside a loud jostling voice called out to them. “Oliver? That you?”

From around the corner, Felicity looked to see who it was. She recognized the person as Tommy. The moment his eyes landed on her, he instantly stopped in his tracks. His mouth dropped open, but he quickly recovered himself and closed it.

“Felicity,” he called her name still in a small state of shock. “I didn’t...” He instinctively stepped forward and looked to Oliver. “He didn’t tell me you were coming. It’s a good surprise though.” He finally rushed forward and pulled her into a tight, warm, but almost bone crushing hug that she tried to reciprocate, but couldn’t match his intensity. She found her feet lifting off the floor as he held onto her.

Felicity could tell this hug meant a lot to Tommy and she let him hold onto her for as long as he wanted. Here he was seeing someone who he considered a great friend for the first time in over a year, so a bear hug was warranted.

Stepping back, Tommy apologized. “Sorry, I’m just really happy to see you, you know out and stuff.” He hugged her once more and really let her go this time. “You look great.”

“Thank you. It’s good to see you too.”

“What brought this on,” Tommy asked.

“I wanted to come,” Felicity spoke up. “Get out of the house and I wanted to see you. I figured it’s time for me to start getting back out, so here I am.”

Glancing around, Felicity saw something that she recognized from her research. Pointing to a spot behind the bar, she walked closer to it taking a better look.

“Oh my gosh. Is this where that picture of you kissing him on the cheek comes from,” she asked referencing the picture on her Instagram page.

“Yeah,” Oliver laughed at the memory. “A fun night that ended with everyone a little more than tipsy.”

Tommy latched onto Oliver’s shoulder with a laugh. “We were celebrating a big divisional win for this guy here.”

“Divisional,” Felicity repeated.

“Baseball,” Tommy said in a one word explanation.

“Oh.” Felicity clamped her hand against her forehead. “Right.” All of her sports knowledge that she was sure she learned from Oliver was unfortunately long forgotten.

“Yeah. Oliver, the superstar athlete here,” Tommy said.

The smile Oliver had moments ago was now gone and Felicity saw a look of uneasiness in his eyes. She didn’t say anything, but she could see what seemed to be slight discomfort. It wasn’t something that happened often, but Felicity noticed when it happened. Whenever his career specifically was mentioned, he would retreat. She was proven right when Oliver promptly changed the subject.

“Tommy, what were those big ideas you had on the phone,” he asked him.

“Right. Follow me to the back,” Tommy gestured.

Felicity decided to stay out front while the two of them went to work. “I’ll look around while you two do what you need to do. Don’t worry about me.”

“Alright.” Oliver rested his hand on her elbow. “We’re right in the back if you need anything.”

“Got it,” she said as they walked off.

Tommy probed Oliver for answers the moment he and Oliver stepped into his office. He sat to his desk eager to hear an update on how things were at home for Felicity and Oliver. “So, how are you guys doing?”

Oliver sat down in the chair with a smiling nod. “We’re good,” he answered. “Things are still a work in progress and she still doesn’t remember anything, but we got past that roadblock and we’re moving forward now.”

“The two of you seem like you’re at ease with one another. It’s really good to see you two like that again.”

Oliver nodded. “We’ve been going to therapy once a week and Felicity has starting working out with this trainer in town.”

“Felicity, actually working out,” Tommy interrupted with a laugh of disbelief. Tommy remembered how Felicity hated anything considered working out and Laurel tried on numerous occasions to get Felicity to join her at the gym. “That I would pay to see.”

“I know,” Oliver nodded in agreement. “She really likes it though and I can tell it’s helping. Also, we got a dog. Butterscotch.”

“Butterscotch,” Tommy repeated with a grimace. “Don’t tell me you got a poodle or something,” he laughed.

Oliver showed Tommy the picture of the puppy. “Shut up man. It’s not a poodle,” he retorted. “Felicity picked it out and the little thing has been a lot of fun.” Oliver had to admit that he enjoyed the mini pup scurrying around the place. It was nice to see Felicity interacting with the puppy and it made her talk more. It had a been a great investment.

Tommy looked down at the picture with a shrug. “It’s cute,” he admitted. Tommy gave his best friend a genuine smile. “Man, I’m really happy for you guys. We’ll have to get together some time. I know Laurel would love to see her.”

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind.” And Oliver meant that. “Now, tell me what you’re thinking for renovations.”

~

When Oliver finished with Tommy, he left him in his office to make some calls. Walking out towards the front, he found Felicity in the game area playing darts. Not playing, struggling...struggling was the better word for what she was currently doing.

Leaning against the doorway, he watched  
her determined frame try desperately to hit at least one spot on the board. Before he knew it a snorting laughter slipped from him. Felicity wheeled around at him wide eyed. He couldn’t speak, so he just kept laughing at her.

“You’re really terrible at this game,” he finally said through his laughter. There were many times before where she tried endlessly to play darts, but failed miserably every time.

“You were watching me the whole time,” she asked.

“No. Only about a minute or so,” he continued to laugh. “I saw enough though.”

“Very funny.” Rolling her eyes, Felicity walked off and picked up the darts that she’d thrown to the floor in her attempts. Looking over her shoulder, she decided to challenge Oliver. “So, are you just going to laugh or are you going to give me some pointers?”

Moving inside the room, Oliver motioned for one of the darts. “Let me show you how it’s done,” he replied with a cocky drawl.

He stepped into the center of the floor when Felicity moved to the side. “It’s all in the flick of the wrist,” he said. Letting the dart loose, it flew into the air and drilled the board dead in the center.

“You’re you, so of course you’re good at this,” Felicity scoffed. She moved in front of Oliver with her back turned to him. “Alright, teach me.”

Absentmindedly, Oliver’s hand flew to Felicity’s body as he positioned her in front of him. Felicity’s mind was suddenly muddled with the feel Oliver’s breath on her neck and his warmth surrounding her as he talked giving her quick pointers.

One hand on her waist and the other wrapped around her wrist. He mimicked the motions she needed to take and tried not to get lost in the feel of having her in his arms this way.

Finally letting her go, Oliver stepped back and Felicity let the dart fly from her fingertips. She turned around with an excited clap at the dart sticking in the board.

Oliver suddenly felt an ache in his heart at the reminder that Felicity didn’t remember the many moments they shared. This exact interaction had happened before. He tried to teach her how to play darts early on in their relationship.

“You alright,” she asked.

Oliver cleared his throat bringing himself back to the present. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Good job.”

Fingering the dart in her hands, Felicity eyed Oliver for a moment seeing through the forced excitement in his voice. “You taught me this before,” she guessed correctly.

“I did the first time I brought you here. I introduced you to Tommy for the first time then too.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think...”

“Don’t apologize,” Oliver cut her off before she could completely get the words out. He didn’t want her to say sorry. He could admit that it was bittersweet because she didn’t remember, but experiencing it again was something special.

“Just see it as me getting to enjoy all these experiences over again.”

Felicity matched Oliver’s smile, but part of her still felt horrible and guilty about the situation.

Just then, Tommy emerged rejoining them. “Guys,” he called out to them.

Felicity turned towards Tommy dropping her hand before she could take Oliver’s.

Oliver slipped his hand in his pocket and leaned against the counter. “Yeah?”

“I have a little less than an hour until opening and Laurel is actually in the area. So, I was wondering if it would be okay for her to swing by. We could just talk over drinks or something.”

Felicity sat to the bar and looked to Oliver who gave her a nod to let her know he was letting her decide. Looking back to Tommy, she smiled. “Sure, why not?”

* * *

Walking off the elevator, Oliver could sense the shift in Felicity since they got out the car. Her walk was slower, her shoulders were tensed and those familiar creases in her forehead were forming.

They were headed to the Diggle’s for dinner. Nothing fancy, just a small causal dinner between friends like they’d done so many times before. The reacquainting tour continued.

“Nervous,” he prompted her.

Felicity nodded. “A little,” she admitted.

“Don’t be. You’ll do fine. Just like with Tommy and Laurel,” he attempted to reassure her.

“I know, but this feels different.”

Oliver stopped outside of John and Lyla’s door. “How so,” he asked.

“Because. I mean John and Lyla made me her godmother, so we must’ve have been thick as thieves and I just don’t want to mess this reintroduction up.” Felicity sucked in a deep breath feeling her nerves ramp up more. “And what if Sara no longer likes me.” She was afraid Sara would pick up on her amnesia and it would freak the toddler out. Children were perceptive and very smart. They might be small, but they weren’t dummies at all.

“Hey, take a deep breath,” Oliver said. He reached out to Felicity softly gripping her shoulders. He brushed his thumb against face feeling the softness of her skin.

Felicity stilled at Oliver’s touch and looked in his eyes. They were the most beautiful bluest blue she’d ever seen. She knew he had blue eyes, but being this close and intimate shown them in a new light. They were so clear and piecing. The little things she noticed about Oliver over the last couple of weeks gave a little more insight into why she fell for him. She was momentarily mesmerized by them before she focused on his words.

“You’ll be fine. Trust me. This is John and Lyla, they’re two of the most east going people you will find. And Sara is still Sara, just a bit older and talks more.”

Feeling more confident in just a matter of seconds, Felicity nodded. Oliver’s pep talk gave her the confidence she needed. Oliver knocked twice and the door was opened by none other than John Diggle with a broad smile.

“Come in guys.” He stepped to the side and let them into the apartment. He gave Oliver a hard pat on the back as he closed the door behind them.

“Thanks for inviting us,” Oliver said.

“It’s great to see you again Felicity,” John said.

Felicity walked into John’s open inviting arms letting him wrap them around her. “You too,” Felicity smiled into the warm hug. “And thank you for the invite and for everything before.”

“Not the first time I’ve had to get this one back in line.” Joking for a moment, he turned serious. “You can always call me if you need me. Either one of us. Any time.”

Oliver moved inside bringing in the sparkling cider he brought for the dinner. Lyla emerged from the kitchen with a casserole dish in her hands. She smiled brightly as she carried the piping hot chicken cacciatore to the table. Behind her, Sara emerged clutching a bread bowl to her chest.

As she made it to the table, her eyes widened and she almost dropped the bowl in excitement. “Uncle Ollie!”

Lyla managed to grab the bowl as Sara ran towards Oliver with neck breaking speed.

Felicity smiled at the thought of Sara calling Oliver “Ollie” with the exception of the Thea who originated the name, no one else called him that. Who would’ve thought the name Oliver was so difficult for kids to say.

Oliver picked Sara up tossing her in the air and catching her as she went into a fit of giggles. He blew a raspberry kiss underneath her chin and tickled her. “There’s my favorite little person,” he kissed her cheek.

While Oliver and Sara played, Lyla took her chance to welcome Felicity.

“Felicity, so glad you could make it,” Lyla said. Lyla pulled her into a side hug averting her belly. “It’s good to see you.”

“You as well,” Felicity smiled. She motioned towards Lyla protruding belly. “And you too.”

Lyla rubbed her six month swollen belly. “Yeah. Little JJ here is really showing.”

“It’s a boy?” Oliver turned to them ecstatic with excitement. He turned to John shoving him. “You didn’t tell me you were getting a junior.”

“Wanted to surprise you and see that shocked face you have right now.“

Sara climbed down from Oliver’s arms and walked up to Felicity peering at her curiously. “Teetee Licity.”

Felicity felt her heart swell and melted at the adorable sound of Sara calling her auntie. “Hi Sara,” she smiled down at her. “It’s so good to see you.” Looking at Sara, she was so much bigger from the last pictures Felicity had of her. Oliver showed her updated pictures, but it was nothing like seeing it in person. She was a mini big person now. A headful of beautiful curly hair sprouted from her head and she had bright brown eyes reminiscent of John’s.

Sara reached up and Felicity jumped at the chance to pick her up. “Mom said you were sick,” Sara said.

Felicity nodded. Sick was the best explanation for a four year old. She was impressed at how well Sara talked and how understanding she seemed to be. “Yes, I was. But I’m back, but I’m getting better.”

Sara wrapped her little arms around Felicity’s neck and hugged her with a squeeze only the way kids did. She kissed Felicity on the cheek and pulled back to press a princess sticker to the spot. “There,” she said proud of herself. “You’ll feel better now.”

Felicity wanted to respond, but her throat was heavy and clogged with emotions. She could only smile at Sara through watery eyes and hold her close to her for a hug.

~

After dinner and after the men thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, everyone retired to the living room to sit and chat for a moment. Soon, Sara broke out the toys insisted on having Felicity join her since it was getting uncomfortable for Lyla to sit on the floor now. From his vantage point in the loveseat, Oliver had a clear sight of Felicity and Sara. Sprawled out on the floor were dolls and more accessories than he could count. Sara talked endlessly and Felicity hung onto her every word.

His mind wondered and ventured into what if territory. A vision of Felicity sitting with their little girl playing until he called them to the kitchen to the kitchen for a dinner of mac and cheese which he knows his daughter would love. If only things hadn’t played out the way they did.

A tap on his shoulder broke Oliver from his trance. John stood next to his charm offering him a beer. “Join me on the balcony,” he said.

They walked out onto the balcony together. John closed the door behind them as Oliver took a swig of the beer. He glanced back towards the sound of Felicity and Sara’s giggles before looking back to John who’s eyes were ever so watchful. He knew exactly what he was thinking.

“That can still be yours one day, you know,” he said.

“Yeah.” Oliver smiled tightly. “I know. I just don’t know when.” Or if, Oliver left unsaid. What if they never made it to that point again? Before Oliver had a clear idea of when they would try to have a family of their own. They actively discussed it as a goal for themselves. Felicity would get into a good grove with her company. He would try to plan it where he could be in the off-season when Felicity was nearing the end of her pregnancy.

John gave Oliver a sympathetic look. “How is she really doing though? The two of you seem to be in tune with one another.”

“She’s doing good. We’re both doing good right now. Therapy has really helped us.”

John could hear the unsaid but in Oliver’s like. “But...”

“But I wished she could just get some of her memories back. Even if it’s not a memory of me, a memory of you, Lyla, Sara...or just something that she can say, oh yeah I remember this.” He took another thoughtful sip of his beer. “Is that selfish of me?”

“No man,” John answered. “Of course you want her to remember. I’m sure she does to, but you have to remember it’s still early. Can’t rush a brain injury. Just take comfort in the fact that the two of you are making strides to move forward and are in a good place.”

Oliver nodded knowing John was right. He was always right and that’s why he continuously went to him for advice. He wasn’t going to push things because when he did before, things went horribly wrong. He would dwell on the good side of things.

The laughter of the three women inside prompted them both to look back inside.

“Sara hasn’t missed a beat,” John said. “She was excited about seeing her Teetee.”

“I’m glad it went smooth because Felicity was very nervous. I think that’s why she immediately mentioned Butterscotch to Sara. Seems like you need to get a four legged pal.”

John defiantly shook his head. “She’s already getting a little brother. A dog is definitely not coming in here, we’re already running out of room in here,” he joked. “So you’re welcome to have Sara over any time to play with it.”

~

Leaving the Diggle’s for the night, Oliver hurried off the sidewalk to opened the passenger side door for Felicity.

“Thanks,” she said as she climbed in.

Oliver slipped into the driver seat and clicked his seatbelt on. “How was it,” he asked. “You enjoyed yourself?”

Felicity nodded as she began pulling her hair into a ponytail. “I did. I had nothing to worry about just as you said.”

“Got to start listening to me,” he grinned. “I promise I won’t lead you astray.”

Felicity smiled as she thought back on the dinner. “Sara is so adorable, I just want to take her home. And I know Butterscotch would love her.”

Oliver laughed to himself as he got ready to start the car. Pulling his hand away, he turned to Felicity who was watching him. “What,” she eyed him.

“Want to know something funny about Sara?”

Felicity nodded intrigued.

“The day Sara was born was when you and I had our first kiss. Right there in the maternity ward of the hospital.”

Felicity’s eyes widened intrigued at the story. “Really? You mean I didn’t kiss you after the lavish three course meal on our first date?”

Oliver shook his head. “Nothing more than a cheek kiss. I might’ve tried to pivot my lips a bit, but you didn’t budge. You were still attempting to play hard to get.”

Felicity felt a confident perk enter her as she thought to herself. The wait to finally accept Oliver’s offer for a date. The over the top first date, and now the first kiss. She must’ve really had Oliver spinning on his heels.

“Wait a minute. So you decided to kiss me at a hospital of all places. How did I even up there with you?”

Oliver laughed knowing it sounded a little farfetched, so he needed to explain it.

“You and I were going out on a date. Our third date to be exact when John texted me and told me Lyla had gone into labor. You said you loved babies and didn’t mind going by there with me. Our date was spent at Starling General. I treated you to a hot dog with cheese fries from the cafeteria. Also, a Coke, with gummy bears and a bag of Cheetos from the vending machine. Very romantic and high end, right?”

Felicity doubled over into a fit of side splitting laughter picturing the two of them in the hospital lounge gorging out on junk food while waiting on someone to push out their child.

“You’re laughing, but I’m so serious right now.”

“I managed to make it to a third date with the Oliver Queen and I didn’t give him not one kiss. Wow. I must’ve been a lucky one.”

Oliver laughed once more. “You definitely had a guy seriously sweating,” Oliver said. “I wasn’t really used to actually courting someone, so I was like am I doing this wrong or what?”

“And you didn’t give up, huh?”

“Nope. I like challenges and you were definitely one. Nothing easy about you."

"And you couldn't wait to kiss me until we at least made it outside," she questioned.

“We were finally leaving their hospital room after being there for like eight hours, and as we were walking through the halls, you started talking in your quick babble that you always do when you’re overly excited,” he said gesturing his hands mimicking Felicity’s movements. “I think the excitement of meeting John and Lyla, two people who I considered very close friends and their little miracle had an effect on you. As you were talking, I just stared at you, watching you, admiring your personality shining through and your beauty because you looked more than amazing that day. I knew that I just had to kiss you.”

Oliver could see it clearly the moment he grabbed Felicity’s face in his hands and planted a soft, but meaningful kiss on her lips cutting her babbling words off. "You reciprocated it too,” he winked with a grin.

Starting the car, Oliver pulled out onto the road with a bit of quietness settling inside. Felicity smiled to herself thinking on the things Oliver said to her. It sounded unconventional, but it sounded meaningful and sweet.

“Thanks for telling me that,” she spoke again. “I really appreciate learning different things on how we became us. No matter how small. It’s all so significant to me now. Thank you.”

* * *

Oliver tossed his keys on the mantle as Butterscotch scurried into the room. “Hey girl.” He picked her up pressing a kiss to her coat as she barked in excitement at seeing them again.

Felicity came over scratching underneath her neck as Butterscotch licked at her hands. “I’m going to get out of these clothes,” she told Oliver. “Then I’ll be right down.”

On the way home from the Diggle’s, Felicity suggested they have a movie night.

“Alright.” Placing Butterscotch back on the floor, Oliver moved into the kitchen with the dog fast on his heels.

He pulled a popcorn bowl and popcorn from the cabinets. Filling the bowl one fourth of the way, he popped it into the microwave.

Glancing over to the dog bowl, he saw Butterscotch still had food left, but decided to get her some fresh water. Sitting the water bowl back to the ground, she bounded over to the bowl to quickly start lapping it up.

Washing his hands, he went to check on the popcorn. Pulling it from the microwave, a couple of the kernels popped in the air and onto the floor. Before Oliver could react, Butterscotch ran over and quickly ate them.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to have that,” he said as he stared down at her chewing. “I don’t need Felicity fussing at either of us because you stole popcorn.”

Opening a cabinet, he pulled the box of dog biscuits out, shaking out three of them for her. “Here’s your snack,” he told Butterscotch as she happily barked and bounced over to them.

Felicity with a washed face and lounge clothes rejoined them downstairs. “I’ll start the movie,” she yelled into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes into the movie, Oliver realized that Felicity had grown increasingly quiet. He looked over at her and realized she’d fallen asleep. Her body instinctively began slumped  
towards him until her head finally rested on his shoulder.

Sensing a change, Butterscotch hopped up on the couch barking in Felicity’s face attempting to wake her.

“Quiet Butterscotch,” Oliver said with a light laugh. He shooed her away and she jumped down and ran to her own bed dismayed.

Felicity was completely out and Oliver couldn’t help but to laugh to himself because she was never able to stay up for an entire movie. You would have to start the movie early or otherwise, she tucked herself into his arms under the disguise of being cold and slipped right into a peaceful sleep.

Oliver lifted his arm and let her fall into his side more comfortably. She stirred a bit, but stayed asleep. Looking down at her, Oliver pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Felicity’s head, he would let her fall into a deeper sleep and sleep a little longer before he moved her.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity thinks she might have a breakthrough. Oliver decides to take Felicity for a night out.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

Waking up, Felicity found herself in her bed with no recollection of climbing inside it. Last thing she remembered was sitting down to watch a movie with Oliver. Apparently she blinked once and was out like a light. That meant she fell asleep on Oliver and he had to personally carry her to the bed and tuck her in. Hopefully, she didn’t drool on him.

Glancing down at the foot of her bed where Butterscotch usually resides, she was nowhere to be found. Probably with Oliver, the little thing had seemingly traded Felicity in for him.

Going through her morning routine, her stomach began growling as if she hadn’t ate in days. She was starving. The aroma of sweet blueberries slipped through the cracks of bathroom and swarmed her. Smelling blueberry pancakes, one of her absolute favorites, only intensified her hunger and she hurried to get to the kitchen.

As she stepped off the last stair step, Felicity could see Butterscotch curled up on the kitchen floor were Oliver was moving around. A traitor just like she thought. Oliver looked from the stove as she walked into the kitchen. “Good morning,” he greeted her. “Coffee is ready.”

The delicious and very much needed caffeine. Going to the counter, she grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured a generous amount of the rich colored liquid. Felicity turned to the refrigerator in search of coffee creamer to pour. Taking a small sip, she sighed at the delicious taste.

Moving to the side with a pan of piping hot eggs in his hands, Oliver looked over at Felicity with a smile, and she stepped toward him pressing her lips against his in sweet hello kiss. Felicity pulled back with a smile. “Morning,” she whispered.

It was kiss from every romantic movie you’ve seen over a million times. The happy couple together in the kitchen getting ready to eat before the start of their day.

Not saying a word, she turned back to the creamer adding a little more to her cup. Finally, the loudness of Butterscotch’s bark prompted her to snap out of the dreamlike trance she was in.

Turning to Oliver, she saw him just staring at her. Had that just happened? Planted her lips on his? Had she kissed him? She had.

Oliver’s feet were firmly rooted to the floor with his mouth slightly agape. He blinked once and licked his lips, but his eyes never moved from Felicity. His fingers touched to his lips where he still could taste her. Their first kiss in a year left him feeling confused instead of joyful and happy.

The sound of wet drips on the floor woke Felicity from her trance even more and she looked to see a puddle of peppermint creamer forming on the floor by her feet. “Frak.” She flipped the creamer close and sat her cup down.

“Here, let me...”

“I got it.” Grabbing a towel, Felicity bent down to find Butterscotch licking up every drop of the creamer that she could. “Well, Butterscotch has it,” she mumbled with an awkward laugh. Shooing her out of the way, Felicity wiped the remainder of the spill up. Tossing it into the dirty bin on the floor when she finished, she stood up to find Oliver still looking at her.

Feeling embarrassed and a bit of shame, she looked away dropping her eyes to her feet. “Sorry. I don’t even know how to explain what came over me.”

With a bit of hesitance, he stepped towards her. “It’s okay,” he said. “But I need to ask, did you remember that?” Oliver hated how weak and unsure his voice sounded, but he couldn’t help it. He was hopeful, but also cautionary.

“I don’t know,” Felicity answered confused. Felicity sighed rubbing at her forehead as she began pacing. “It sort of felt like an outer body experience,” she tried to explain. “Like I knew what I was doing, but also at the same time I didn’t. Sort of like I was sleep walking I would say.”

Oliver finished fixing the plates and walked them over to the table. Eggs, bacon, pancakes with warm maple syrup. All of the food she craved just moments ago was now the farthest thing from Felicity’s mind.

Oliver’s quietness made her feel uneasy. “Did I ruin what we have? What you and I are working towards?” They made major strides with each other and she didn’t want to be the reason things stalled or hit the wall again. She hated for him to get his hopes up that she actually remembered something when she really didn’t.

“No, of course not.” He shook his head repeating it again. “No, that’s not it at all.”

Felicity could tell Oliver was holding something back. “Well what is it,” she asked him. “You asked did I remember? You mean kissing you?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Yes, but not exactly. It’s just...” He motioned for Felicity to have a seat and she did. Pulling his chair out, he sat down on the end next to her. “During the offseason when I would be home, I would always fix you breakfast before you left for work. I would get up before you to start cooking while you took forever to get ready.”

The memories began playing in Oliver’s mind and he smiled to himself momentarily quieting. Thinking of all the mornings Felicity happily hopped down the stairs to see what he was cooking. Some days she would get up later than usual due to their lovemaking sessions that night or early that morning. She would grab a cup of coffee. Oliver wasn’t second to much in Felicity’s life, but he definitely came second to her morning cup of joe.

After her sip of coffee, she would kiss him and Oliver could taste the love and sweetness on her lips. Just like what occurred this morning.

Oliver finally continued as Felicity waited with baited breath. “You would come downstairs, grab your coffee and give me a kiss. Exactly the way you just did.”

“Oh.” Felicity sat back a bit a little stunned at Oliver’s words. She had no recollection of their morning routines. When she walked into the kitchen this morning, it was as if her feet carried her where she needed to go. She wasn’t actively thinking and there was no objection from her body or mind. Everything seemed right. “That’s...wow.”

“So, it’s like you remembered something from the past. I guess...”

“Something like muscle memory,” Felicity summarized. That was the best explanation she could come up with.

“Yeah,” Oliver nodded in agreement. “I guess so.”

Felicity turned to her plate and began picking at her now lukewarm eggs.

“Yeah. It’s just a little freaky,” she said. “Not the kissing you part,” she quickly clarified. “Kissing is totally normal. We’re married, so it’s not like we’re breaking any rules. I’m quite sure we’ve kissed multiple times and did so much more,” she babbled. The words were flowing from her lips before he brain could tell her to stop and if only continued. “Plus, you have nice lips, extremely soft and very kissable. I would definitely classify it as a nice kiss...”

Oliver tried to stifle his laugh as he cut into his pancake. “Your babbling has been occurring more lately as well,” Oliver laughed. “Nice to hear. I quite liked them.” Felicity was returning more to her normal self.

Felicity caught her breath and broke into a laughing smile. Her face grew red with a slightly embarrassed heat rising from her neck. Reaching for the warm maple syrup, she drizzled it on her pancakes coating them. She cut into them as she looked back to Oliver, who was watching her carefully.

“Maybe we should call Dr. Allen,” Felicity suggested. “Maybe he knows a better way to explain what occurred.”

Oliver nodded. “He did say to call if there were any sudden changes or if we had questions. Maybe he can get us in today.”

“Alright.” Felicity stuffed a forkful of pancakes into her mouth. “I’ll call after breakfast.”

~

“Felicity, I was so glad to see you called me on your own. I always like when patients take initiative to be seen even in between appointments.”

Dr. Henry Allen was the man to see for brain injuries. World renowned and highly recommended. When she was first referred to him, Felicity wondered briefly if she had met him before because the name Allen seemed vaguely familiar. Then she quickly realized it was because entertainment reporter Iris West - Allen was his daughter-in-law. She did many pieces on Felicity and Oliver or “Olicity” as they were called in pop culture. When Felicity read those she was always pleased that they were both painted in a positive light unlike others. Iris was also the person who did Felicity’s magazine interview about Smoak Technologies.

“How have things been since we last talked?”

“Fine.”

“Great.”

Oliver and Felicity both answered the question differently, but the same. Dr. Allen smiled in response. “Did something happen recently that prompted this call and visit,” he asked.

“Yes,” Felicity answered. “This morning, actually.”

“Alright.” He grabbed his pad and pen ready to jot down notes. “Tell me what happened exactly.”

Felicity looked to Oliver to take the lead. She still felt a bit of embarrassment at the kiss even though they’ve moved past it. Plus, Oliver had the other details that Felicity didn’t remember.

Oliver explained the situation to Dr. Allen. Felicity sat quietly next to him waiting for him to finish, a bit impatiently because she wanted to know what Dr. Allen would have to say.

“So,” she said once Oliver finished. “Does that mean anything?”

Things had been fine with her and Oliver, but she would be lying to herself if she said that this morning’s moment didn’t give her just the smallest sliver of hope regarding her memories.

“It’s tricky,” Dr. Allen began. “As you immerse yourself more and more into your old life, it can trigger some memories. For instance, what happened this morning, your brain saw it as a routine and it went back to the way it used to do things.”

“Does that mean I will get my memories back? Did that maybe give them a jumpstart?”

Dr. Allen hesitated for a moment and Felicity knew what was coming next. Not the answer she wanted.

“Possibly,” he said. “We can’t be certain, but what happened today is a good sign. A very good sign in your recovery.”

Felicity physically deflated at the words she’d been hearing nonstop each visit. She crossed and uncrossed her arms as frustration took over. She felt Oliver reach over and grabbed her hand in his, and she reluctantly calmed at his touch.

“You’re doing well Felicity,” Dr. Allen continued. “Take comfort in that. You’re doing all the right things. You’re getting out of the house. The dog you have is a great addition for you and Oliver to have another thing to bounce off of. You’re exercising and being healthy, which helps with everything. You’re no longer holding yourself back. It’s still early and we’ve barely scratched the surface in your recovery.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but I just want a concrete answer. Something that can give me hope.”

“I don’t want to give you a definite answer because if it doesn’t happen, I’m afraid you’ll slip back into the state you were before you started seeing me. Closed off emotionally and hurting yourself by being unavailable. That would only cause harm and I’ve seen it in my past patients. I don’t want that to be you.”

“I will say that what you’ve told me so far gives me hope for you,” Dr. Allen said.

“I understand.” Felicity nodded this time not adding anything else.

The visit went on for about 30 more minutes. A date was set for a return appointment and the same spill was given about calling if there were any changes.

Oliver could sense that the visit didn’t go as well as Felicity hoped. He felt a little defeated as well, but he was leaning onto Dr. Allen’s encouraging words clinging to them.

As they walked to the elevator, Felicity moved exceedingly fast leaving Oliver some feet behind her. Reaching the elevators, Felicity vigorously pushed the call button while chewing on her bottom lip.

“Felicity,” Oliver called her. When he finally reached her, he grabbed her elbow pulling her away from the elevator. “Just wait a minute and take a deep breath. You’re upset, so just take a moment.”

She was upset. She tried not to dwell on it, but she couldn’t help it. “It’s not a definitive answer Oliver. I want a simple yes. And you’re taking this a lot better than I expected.”

“Because Dr. Allen didn’t exactly give you a definite no either,” Oliver argued. “Look, I get it...”

“No, you don’t,” Felicity tearfully said. “You have your memories of us, of me and our life. I have a blank slate that I’m piecing together slowly,” she sighed. “There’s so much I don’t remember and I’m just afraid that I never will. And if I never remember, where does that lead us? How would you feel about me?” A tear slipped from her eye before she could wipe it away. Even if Dr. Allen said that it was a good chance she would remember things with recent developments, she didn’t want to live in the what if’s. “I want to remember myself and the person I grew to be, I want to remember us.”

Oliver cradled Felicity face looking her directly in her eyes. “Hey, listen to me,” he said firmly. “If that’s what you’re worried about, don’t. I loved you then and I love you now. Nothing that has happened or will happen is going to change that.

Felicity’s resolve softened and she no longer felt angry steam shooting from her ears. Oliver had a way with words and a way to always get through to her. She sniffed away her remaining tears and wiped at her face. A small smile broke out as Oliver’s words lingered with her. “You have no idea of how badly I needed to hear that from you.” 

* * *

 

  

 

Smiling with her phone in her hand after reading her and Oliver’s text message exchange once more, Felicity practically skipped to her car. Felicity scrolled to the contact name of the one person who she knew would properly freak out at the news of her and Oliver going on a date.

A date. She and Oliver were going on an actual date. It was an exciting turn of events in their building relationship. Up until now, they stayed in the house or did something on the small scale like visit with the Diggle’s or Merlyn’s. A date night at Table Salt held many implications. They were growing closer and this could give them an even greater shove.

Switching over to Bluetooth as she got in closing her door, Felicity waited on her call to be picked up.

“Hi sweetie.” Donna answered in her happy and chipper voice.

“Hey mom! Guess what,” Felicity said as she turned into flowing traffic.

“What is it?”

“Oliver and I are going on a date tonight,” Felicity told her.

Felicity severely underestimated her mother’s excitement as her scream blasted through the car speakers making Felicity suddenly jerk at the loudness. The car swerved a bit, but Felicity quickly regained control.

“Mom!” Felicity found herself yelling right back. “Mom, don’t make me crash my car. Please calm down.”

“Sorry,” she apologized. “But you can’t tell me something like that and expect a calm reaction.”

Felicity laughed. “I know. I’m excited too.”

“What are you wearing? Are you headed to the mall?”

“No, I haven’t gone shopping since I’ve been back. I’ve just been wearing my old things. I know as soon as I set foot in a shopping area, paps would swarm. There’s some things I can work with back home.”

There was one particular dress with the tags still on it hanging in the back of the closet that was nice and would be perfect for tonight. An emerald green ensemble that wasn’t too dressy or too casual. It was just right.

“I’ll send you pictures and FaceTime you as I get ready.”

“This is like your first date all over again,” Donna squealed. “Except you didn’t call me before your first date with Oliver.”

“You were there for my prom. I think that’s more important than a first date you’re not sure if will end well or not,” Felicity said.

“Yeah, and I know what you did with Cooper on prom night too missy. Will we be having a repeat of that tonight?”

Felicity balked at her mother insinuating sex. “Mom,” she called in the warning tone she adopted for Donna over the years whenever she tethered the edge of going overboard. “Can we stay PG please?”

“You know it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t slip a little of my flair into the conversation.”

Felicity smiled and laughed at her mother. Donna was always consistent.

“But, sweetie I’m so happy to hear that you and Oliver are still doing good. Well better than good, things seem to be great. You sound happy and that makes me happy and excited for you guys.”

“Thanks mom. We are doing really well. I’m going to hang up before you start sobbing. I can totally hear it in your voice.

Donna sniffled with a laugh. “Okay sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you too. Talk to you later,” Felicity said before disconnecting the call.

~

[Oliver](https://66.media.tumblr.com/36dad67cc2bd210c4aebede03c37b9fc/8047d1373d839220-b7/s640x960/9e3662001b6e0c34b60e275880abbcba7385a9ad.jpg) paced in circles at the bottom of the stairs. He continuously pulled at the sleeves of his sports jacket and tugged at the collar of his Henley shirt. He was nervous. Nervous was an understatement. He was something 10 times more than that. He felt like he needed to chew an entire bottle of benzos to calm his nerves.

This night needed to go smoothly. He and Felicity might’ve agreed to something small and casual, but Oliver still wanted everything to be perfect. If this night was anything but a win, it could send them flying many steps backwards in their relationship.

Butterscotch stood at the stairwell alongside Oliver watching him pace. She sat on her bottom with her tail wagging against the floor.

“Are you just going to sit there and judge me” Oliver said. Butterscotch’s head titled, something that Oliver was sure she picked up from Felicity. Felicity had a certain way of titling her head to question you with one look only. “I’m a little rusty in the dating scene, so I reserve the right to be a little nervous.”

The sound of a door closing made his pacing cease and both he and Butterscotch turned their attention upstairs. Looking up, Oliver saw [Felicity](https://66.media.tumblr.com/89170fe09e05998ddd18a3b381cf2c4e/8047d1373d839220-e4/s640x960/0f08a858257c80398a908af961aef8d80770fb71.jpg) appear at the top of the stairs. He felt his breath leave his body the moment his eyes landed on her.

Her legs were the first thing he saw. Standing five inches taller. His eyes slowly tracked upwards taking every inch of her frame in. From her feet to the top of her head and down again. No part of her was left unseen by his eyes.

“You look...” Oliver’s breath hitched as Felicity descended the stairs. There were so many adjectives Oliver could use to describe Felicity in this moment. Beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous. The prettiest woman he’d ever seen. “You look amazing,” he breathed with a smile. Amazing was the best word he could use to sum Felicity up. Oliver leaned in pressing a kiss against her blushing cheek.

“Thank you.” Felicity couldn’t help the way her eye slowly dragged up and down Oliver’s body. Her mouth momentarily went dry as she did. She was particularly fond of the rolled up sleeves showcasing the popping veins in his arms. The dark grey and black against his skin highlighted the brightness in his blue eyes. “You look very nice tonight,” she said.

Butterscotch barked asking for immediate attention from one of them. Felicity bent down to her scratching behind her ears.

“Listen Butterscotch, you have your kennel, plenty of toys, food and water. Let’s be on our best behavior tonight.”

“She’s always on her best behavior,” Oliver said.

Standing up, Felicity ran her hand over herself making sure there was no blemish or wrinkle. “Oh yeah? Tell that to my panda slippers,” Felicity grumbled. Sweet and innocent Butterscotch tore those to shreds two days ago.

Checking his watch, Oliver saw that they had less than fifteen minutes to make their reservation. He offered Felicity his arm with a warm smile. “Ready?”

Switching her clutch to her opposite hand, Felicity slipped her arm through Oliver’s. “I am,” she said.

* * *

Walking into Table Salt, Felicity kept her hand in Oliver’s as he led them to the hostess area. The car ride had been quieter than either one would’ve liked, but the nerves from both were loudly drowning out the silence. When they arrived, the valet promptly took Oliver’s keys and they walked hand in hand into the restaurant.

“Queen. Table for two,” he said.

“Yes,” the hostess smiled brightly. “I have you here and you’re right on time.” She gathered the menus in her hand and motioned to be followed. “Right this way, you two.”

Felicity sucked in a nervous breath as she followed behind Oliver. Her hand flew to her stomach where she felt butterflies swarming. Being in the public and in such an intimate setting made her nerves ramp up even more. Couples were seated all around the restaurant. The lights were dimmed low and soft classical music played from the speakers. In the back of her mind, Felicity couldn’t help but to think there were paparazzi lurking in unseen areas.

“Hey,” Oliver called to her softly. “If you’re having second thoughts, we can...”

“No, no.” Felicity shook her head adamant that she wanted to go through with this date. “I can do this. We can do this. Just a couple of normal nervous jitters. That’s all.”

Taking her answer as final, Oliver pulled Felicity’s chair out for her. Walking around he took a seat as a waitress appeared at the table. “Hi, my name is Evelyn and I’ll be your server for tonight. Can I get the lovely couple started with some drinks? We have a house red and white wine? Or I could...”

“Yes,” Felicity answered quickly before the waitress could finish her pitch. “I mean yes, I would love a glass of red.”

“You sir?”

“Scotch neat,” he answered.

“I’ll be right back with those drinks,” she said before slipping off.

Felicity glanced around Table Salt taking in the scenery. Classic and elegant style high end decorations met a quiet romantic setting.

“Still nervous,” Oliver asked calling her attention back to him.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I just can’t help to be. This is new for us,” she said. “I mean not new, but it’s.. You know what, I’m just going to stop talking now.”

“It’s okay,” he smiled bashfully. “I’m nervous too.”

“Oh thank God, it’s not just me,” she laughed.

As dinner wore on, Oliver and Felicity both saw that neither of them had anything to be nervous about. Things were going smooth and as well as they could’ve hoped. Conversation was easy and relaxed as they delved from topic to topic.

“How is your family,” Felicity asked. Technically it was her family too, but she didn’t know how to say it. In laws should’ve been easy to get out, but the words stayed rooted to the top of her mouth. “Your parents and Thea?”

“They’re good,” he answered.

Felicity placed her hands in her lap fidgeting with her fingers. “I’ve thought about them. How my relationship with each one was or if they liked me or thought you could do better than some common girl...”

“There was nothing common about you,” Oliver interjected. “You were everything I could’ve wished for and more.”

“But your family, I wasn’t dating them. I was still the stranger and I’m sure I had to win them over. That doesn’t always go well for the outsider.”

“My mother was a bit skeptical,” Oliver began as Felicity laughed. “It’s not what you’re thinking. She was more skeptical on my behalf due to my romantic history.”

“Oh? So she didn’t think I was going to steal her precious baby boy away from her and never return him.”

“Who says I would’ve wanted to return anyway,” he quipped. Oliver held his gaze on Felicity smiling for a prolonged moment before continuing. “But, my mother realized you weren’t going anywhere. She accepted you and us. The two of you actually became close, which has never happened with my mother and someone I dated ever,” he laughed. “My father, he’s not a man of many words and he stayed out of my relationship affairs, but ultimately he was a fan because he said you helped me get my head out of his ass,” he winked and continued. “Thea, she took to you instantly and you became inseparable causing me a lot of grief whenever you got together. The two of you were actually a lot alike.”

“Yeah? How so?” She was intrigued to see how she was like Oliver’s little sister. His Speedy as he called her.

“Both of you are very opinionated. Headstrong. Determined, you see something you want and go for it no matter what.”

“Is that how she and I became close? I gathered that from the many pictures of us together.”

Oliver nodded. “The two of you would have these girl days where you would stay in and eat all the junk food you could find or go out together hunting down the latest food crazes or shop. No one could rack up a shopping bill quite like you two.”

Felicity smiled at the feel good stories and memories Oliver relayed to her. “I want to reach out to her some day soon,” Felicity said. It had been on her mind, and Oliver’s stories only intensified that want for Felicity. “Your parents too.”

“Thea asks about you all the time, so I’m sure she would love it whenever you’re ready. They all would. Maybe Thea could be another one that Butterscotch clings too,” he joked.

They discussed Butterscotch earlier with Felicity stating how she was vexed at her for turning her back on her. Turning her back, was an exaggeration but the little thing had grown particularly fond of the person that had to be convinced to keep her.

“She’s a little traitor,” she said to Oliver as he laughed. “I was the one who picked her up out of that box and brought her home to you. Now, it’s like I’m chopped liver.”

“What can I say,” he cockily shrugged. “I’m irresistible. Can’t blame the girl.”

Felicity playfully rolled her eyes with a laugh. “There’s something I’ve been thinking about,” she began. “I’ve been thinking of getting back to work. Seeing where I left off with my company and if I can start piecing it back together again.”

“Felicity, that’s a wonderful idea. You were so passionate about it. You’re the smartest person I know, so I’m sure you’ll have it up and running in no time. Be like riding a bike.”

“I know I wasn’t the happiest when I left Dr. Allen last, but I’ve had time to stew on his words so to speak, and if I continue to immerse myself more into what I used to do, things will turn around even more.” Felicity put a spoonful of food between her lips. “And what about you,” she asked.

“What about me?”

“Work? I know you don’t want to sit around and babysit me everyday. Is there something you want to do? Maybe baseball,” Felicity suggested.

Oliver shook his head. “I don’t know about that,” he mumbled. Picking up his water glass, he took a long swig of liquid to ease his suddenly dry throat.

“Can I ask you something,” Felicity prompted.

“Yeah,” Oliver nodded. “Anything.”

“Why don’t you like to talk about your baseball career,” she asked.

Oliver’s eyes widened slightly at the question, but he remained silent. He thought for a moment not really knowing the best way to answer the sudden question.

“I’ve noticed that whenever it’s brought up, you avoid the topic, change the subject or get an uneasy look in your eyes.” Felicity continued looking at Oliver as he tried to glance away or cast his eyes elsewhere. “Kind of like now,” she pointed at his wandering eyes.

She had been taking notice of it more and more. When Tommy talked about the game that prompted that infamous picture of him and Oliver. When they were at the Diggle’s, Oliver completely glossed over any hint of a conversation pertaining to it.

Wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin, Oliver placed it back in his lap. Honestly, he didn’t think Felicity had noticed. He thought he escaped her questioning, but just like in the past, she was able to sniff it out.

“It’s just not very easy to talk about,” he began. “I actually tried to go back after you..after everything.” Oliver scrubbed his hand over his jaw thinking to himself. “It was about three months after when the new season started. I thought maybe it could help take my mind off everything going on.”

Oliver quickly learned the decision wasn’t the wisest one.

“The team welcomed me with open arms and they were excited to have me back. I wasn’t ready though,” he sighed. “I wasn’t myself. My play was all over the place, my mind, body nor my spirit was ready for me to go back. The team and coaches never said anything directly to me, but I could tell from the concerned looks and whispers among themselves that I could no longer cut it. And I will give it to them, they really tried with me, but deep down I knew I was only bringing them down. After awhile, fans stopped being so understanding of my plight and voiced their opinions. I couldn’t be angry or mad at them because at the end of the day, I was hurting their favorite team, so to save everyone a headache, I retired.”

The stares. The constantly asking if he was sure he was alright. Or if he wanted to skip a game here or there. It was obvious to him what the real concern was, so he bit the bullet and could no longer do what he once loved without Felicity.

“Oliver, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for, Felicity?”

“I hate that you had to give up your dream because of me.”

“Don’t blame yourself for something that was of no control of yours. Not to mention that I would do anything for you,” he said firmly. “Besides that, I had a great career, despite it being cut short. I won a championship, so I accomplished the highest level I could reach in the game.”

“You won a championship. Really? Like the Super Bowl,” Felicity beamed. “Wait, that’s not right. That’s football. What is it called in baseball?”

“World Series,” Oliver laughed. “It’s called the World Series.”

“World Series,” Felicity repeated. “Will you at least think about it though? If not baseball, then something else. I want you to have an outlet as well.”

“I will,” Oliver said. “I promise.”

~

A large decadent chocolate desert was brought out for Felicity and Oliver after dinner. It was placed in the center of their table to share. Oliver only took a couple of bites before relinquishing it over to Felicity entirely.

“I don’t want to keep bringing up painful memories, but can I ask you about the accident?”

Oliver was shocked and didn’t expect this turn in their conversations. “What about it?”

“How were we before? Like right before it happened?”

Oliver thought to the moments he replayed in his mind over and over. The way they made love until they were exhausted. The sheer giddiness Felicity had every time he called her Mrs. Queen.

“We were happy,” he smiled. “We were both excited to have time to ourselves away from everything and away from prying eyes. Just you and me together.”

Felicity dropped her head with a smile desperately wanting to remember what that felt like. How could it all be snatched away in a moments notice on a boat.

“I guess I’m having a hard time seeing how something so expensive and of high quality like the Gambit couldn’t hold its own. I’m sure it was held to the highest of safety standards.”

“It was. We had it inspected a week before we were scheduled to leave. We went through all the precautions to ensure that nothing went wrong. We even picked a date where the weather was supposed to be as beautiful as ever. Life’s unpredictable that way.”

Felicity just couldn’t see how a storm tore into the Gambit and it wasn’t able to withstand anything. But then again, who was she to question nature.

“I sound like I’m talking about the freaking Titanic or something. Isn’t that what they said, the ship was indestructible.”

“In Titanic,” Oliver asked. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’ve never actually seen it.”

“What? Seriously,” Felicity loudly exclaimed and then glanced around to make sure she hadn’t disturbed any other guests. “I can’t believe that. That’s sacrilege Oliver.”

“Isn’t that movie like three hours long?

“Three hours of great storytelling,” she countered. “You know what? That’s what we’re watching tonight. Prepare yourself.”

“You’re only going to fall asleep anyway,” Oliver said. “I don’t know why you’re even pretending like you will last an hour.”

“Oh wow,” she laughed. “Is that a challenge?”

“It can be whatever you want it to be.” Oliver reached in his pocket for his wallet. “I’ll grab the check and we can get this started. I’ll be proven right once again.”

“We shall see.” Felicity smirked with confidence. Tonight, she would finish a movie with Oliver, something she had yet to accomplish.

* * *

Haven’t yet drifted into a deep sleep, Oliver turned in the bed trying to get comfortable. His mind was always working with thoughts, so many thoughts. As always they consisted of Felicity, her recovery, their relationship. He didn’t want to jinx anything, but things had really been going great lately. Since the date, things were even better. Felicity’s walls were tumbling down and she was letting him in more. She was returning to her old form, but still held a bit of newness that Oliver was falling in love with.

Lying on his back, he could hear the faint barks of Butterscotch. Glancing at the clock, it was after one in the morning and that little one should’ve been fast asleep.

Throwing his legs out of bed, Oliver walked to Felicity’s room where the barks grew louder. Peeking inside he could see Felicity tossing and turning. He slapped the light on as she began mumbling incoherent words. He could make out the words no, don’t and stop, but everything else was indistinguishable.

Running to the bed, he climbed in beside her. “Hey,” he called out to her. He grabbed her hands, but she fought against him. Arms thrashing wildly with her eyes closed as she pushed back against him with all her night.

“Felicity, baby, it’s me. It’s Oliver.” Dodging her hits, Oliver managed to somehow corral her and hold her in his arms.

“Oliver?” Felicity gasped as her eyes finally popped open. She focused on his face for a moment and glanced around confused.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He called to her softly as he felt her body slacken. He stroked her messy hair tenderly putting some of the strands back in place. “You’re okay. You’re safe.” He held her close gently rocking her from side to side.

“Oliver?” She called his name again as if she couldn’t believe that it was actually him in the room with her.

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re alright. You were just having a bad dream. Do you remember what it was about?”

Oliver let her go as she continued to gather herself. Felicity looked to be in a light daze as her eyes darted across every inch of the room. Butterscotch stood at the foot of the bed whimpering while nudging at her feet with her nose.

Brushing her hair away from her face, she licked her dry lips trying to gain some control over herself. She looked to Oliver and shook her head. “I... I don’t really know what I was even dreaming...” Placing her hand over her heart she could feel the rapid beating slowing to a normal pace.

“Let me get you some water. I’ll be right back.”

As Oliver left, Butterscotch crawled next to her and curled herself into Felicity’s side. Laughing quietly to herself, Felicity reached down and stroked her soft fur. “Sorry, if I scared you girl.” At least the little traitor was back by her side for the time being.

Felicity’s mind drifted right back to the dream. Despite what she told Oliver, she did remember what the dream was about. It was the same thing she’d been seeing almost every night since she asked Oliver about the accident. Pulling her knees up against her chest, she tried to focus on the redundant bits and pieces that flashed in her mind. All she could see was complete scary darkness, then the sudden onset of bright lights. She could hear muffled voices, but nothing she could ever quite make out. And it felt as if she was being restrained or held down by some sort of weight. Maybe it was a dream of a suppressed memory of her being thrown into the violent waters during the wreck. The dreams would usually wake her up, but this seemed to be the most intense if she woke Oliver instead of her own self.

Oliver returned with the glass of cool water offering it to her. Pushing the thoughts away, Felicity took it with a thanks drinking half of it to soothe her dry throat.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Oliver watched Felicity carefully. “You okay,” he asked concerned. “That seemed pretty bad for a typical nightmare.”

“Yeah.” She sat her glass on the nightstand and gave Oliver the only smile she could muster. “I guess you’re going to have crazy dreams when you stay up and attempt to binge the thriller tv show.” She attempted to brush his concern away, but he saw right through it in that moment.

“You’re sure you’re going to be alright,” he questioned her again.

Picking up Butterscotch, Felicity nodded and sat her on the bed as she promptly curled herself into her side. “Plus, this one is here to protect me now,” she said with a light laugh.

“Alright.” Oliver gave in even if he didn’t want to. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

As he got up, Felicity watched Oliver moved towards the door. He glanced back at her, but kept going hitting the light switch. The now quietness of the room and the darkness spooked Felicity more than she wanted to admit. Before he could turn the corner, she made it up in her mind that she wanted Oliver to stay.

“Hey Oliver. On second thought,” she called him back. “Butterscotch is great and all, but could you stay with me? Please?”

“Please isn’t necessary,” he said. He slipped into the bed next to her.

Felicity moved over giving Oliver more room. He rested back against the headboard keeping his eyes on her.

“I have one more request,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “Can you hold me? Just until I fall asleep maybe?”

Oliver looked at Felicity, her bare face where her features were soft and glistened against the slither of moonlight. Her blonde hair framed her face giving her face an angelic like glow against the light. He couldn’t stop his hand from going out to caress the silky strands that caught on her long eyelashes.

Oliver nodded motioning for Felicity to rest against him and she did. She situated herself in the groove of his arm getting as comfortable as she could. His thumbs softly brushed against her skin. Oliver wiped the moisture from her cheeks. Taking his forefinger he traced the outline of her top lip where droplets of water remained.

Leaning into his touch, Felicity covered the back of his hand with hers. Tilting her head back, she looked up at Oliver as he stared down at her. She looked into his eyes as if they were calling her name. The way he would look at her as if he was peering into her soul made her feel like they were the only two people on the planet. It was a deep and hard gaze full of longing. A gaze that terrified her months ago, but now she welcomed it calling out to her and she was ready to answer the call.

Oliver dragged his finger across Felicity’s cheek and down her chin. Titling it up a bit more, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

Felicity closed her eyes the moment she felt Oliver’s lips. It was different from the daze kiss she planted on him some time ago. This one she felt deep within. It ignited a spark and set off a fire inside of her causing her entire body to warm underneath his touch.

Their tongues brushed lightly against each other, but the kiss didn’t go any deeper than that. They were both hesitant and holding back. This was a beginning for them, no need to go for it all in one night.

Felicity finally pulled away with a shy smile that Oliver matched. She tucked her head into Oliver’s shirt as he wrapped himself around her like a warm cocoon protecting her from the outside world. The hold he had on her was tight and secure as if she was his world. In his arms moment, she felt safe, she felt protected and she felt secure. This was the feeling she’d been longing for since she woke up in the hospital room seeing that her life had been changed.

“I got you.” Oliver whispered the soothing words to Felicity and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. So many times he wished that he could just hold his wife in his arms once more. So many times he dreamed that she was with him. Now that it was a reality, he wasn’t going to let her go.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity spends time with her in laws. Felicity has a real breakthrough that brings her and Oliver as close as they've been since her return.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

As she made her way down the stairs, Felicity immediately noticed Oliver’s morning attire. He stood in the kitchen in workout gear. Shorts showed his very muscular legs and a shirt that looked to be very tight, but Felicity didn’t complain because the image was nice to look at. 

“Look who’s finally up,” Oliver said.

“Hey,” she laughed. “It’s only a little before noon, cut me some slack.” Resting against the counter on her elbows. “What do you have planned for the day,” Felicity asked him. 

“Just going to work out with John. It’s been a while since he and I have really talked, so we’re going to catch up a little bit,” Oliver said. “Plus, he said Lyla’s making him a little crazy, so he needs to get out of the house,” he whispered. “Don’t tell anyone I told you that. Especially Lyla,” he quickly said. 

“Secret is safe with me,” Felicity laughed. 

Oliver popped the top off the blender and poured the chunky looking concoction he’d been mixing into a bottle closing it off. “What is that?” She couldn’t hide the disgust in her voice as she stared. 

“Pre-workout shake,” he said. He held the bottle up to Felicity with a smile. “Want some?” 

Felicity’s nose turned up immediately. “No thank you,” she declined. 

“You ready for today,” Oliver asked Felicity. 

“Yes,” she nodded. “I’m excited and cautiously optimistic.”

Felicity was meeting Moira and Thea for a day out today. An idea she thought of because she wanted to get to know her in laws again. She was slowly making her way down her list of family that she needed to reconnect to. 

Bending over, she picked up the excited dog that for the last couple of minutes scratched at her feet. “Hi Butterscotch.” The dog had been a lot more attentive to Felicity since her nightmare. All it took was one horrific dream and she was seemingly back on her side. 

Oliver smiled softly watching Felicity and Butterscotch play together. He loved seeing her happy. He didn’t miss the uncertain skeptical look in her eyes. The glimpses of her old self merging with the new version of her was beautiful to see. 

“Are you sure about today,” he asked her. 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she nodded. Felicity sat Butterscotch down as she continued. “I can do this. It’s something I need to do, so I’m going to power through it as well.”

“Okay.” He sighed bowing his head. “There’s my overprotectiveness rearing its head again,” he joked. “I’m just making sure you’re alright.”

“I know.” Felicity reached out grabbing Oliver’s arm. “I appreciate it and it reminds me that need to say thank you.”

“For what exactly,” he asked a bit confused. 

“For the other night,” Felicity said. She walked a little closer to Oliver, hands still on his arm. The distance between them was gone literally and figuratively. “I never said the words thank you...” She meant for the way he ran to her aide when her dreams got the best of her. 

“And you never have to,” Oliver responded. “Never,” he reaffirmed. 

“I know, but it’s just...I’ve thought about it a lot. You were there for me, no questions asked. Comforting me, so really, I do thank you.”

Glancing in Oliver’s eyes, Felicity felt drawn to him. The same feeling she felt the night she laid in his arms and he held her until she fell asleep. Pushing herself forward, she met his lips in a kiss. Closing her eyes for a moment, she kissed Oliver softly, chastely and bashful.  Pulling away, she glanced up at Oliver as his yes slowly opened and he looked back at her. 

“I should go finish getting ready. I’ll see you later,” she said.

Oliver smile was coy as Felicity held onto her embrace of him seconds longer until she finally released his arm from her hold turning away. 

“Hey.” Oliver reached out grabbing Felicity’s hand stopping her. His breath hitched when she stopped and looked back at him. His eyes landed on her lips and he could remember all the times he cradled her face and kissed her in moments like this. Not wanting to let her leave, hoping a kiss would prompt her to stay. 

Pushing his thoughts aside, he focused on what he needed to ask her instead. 

“There’s something I want to ask you. Have you been getting enough sleep? The nightmares, are they still happening?” Oliver didn’t want to say it, but he was still a little concerned. Felicity seemed fine, but it didn’t hurt to double check. “It was pretty intense, and I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“No,” she shook her head “That was the only one and I’ve been sleeping fine.” 

Oliver heard Felicity’s answer, but part of his brain was telling him to ask her more. He didn’t want to seem as if he was interrogating her. Things were good and moving forward, a setback is not what that needed. 

“Alright.” He reluctantly dropped her hand from his. “Have fun with my mom and Thea. Let me know if I need to come rescue you,” he joked with a wink. 

“I will do that,” she laughed. With a smile, Felicity turned on her heels and climbed the stairs with Butterscotch right behind her. 

The answer she gave Oliver was partly true. There hadn’t been any dreams as bad as the one that happened the other night, but there were still little moments that would startle her out of her sleep. Moments that she couldn’t make any sense of, but a part of her felt like they meant something. 

~ 

Oliver flipped the tire one last time before standing with a worn out huff. Grabbing a towel he wiped the sweat from his drenched neck and forehead. He and John exhausted themselves for over an hour through different workouts. The exhaustion and familiar ache and burn in his muscles that he experienced almost every day before life turned around. 

“What’s Felicity up to today,” John asked him.

“She’s actually spending time with my mom and Thea today,” he said. 

“The whole day,” John immediately questioned. 

“No,” Oliver laughed. “Just a couple of hours. The whole day would be too much for anybody,” he said. 

“That’s good. They’re were practically inseparable at one point. It’ll be good for her to make those connections again. Tap into her old self.”

“Yeah,” Oliver nodded. “She’s stepping out more, slowly getting back into her work. We’re no longer distant with one another. Things have been really good,” he said proudly.

“And what have you been doing,” John asked. 

“Nothing,” Oliver shrugged. “You know, Felicity actually suggested that I start playing baseball again. Wants me to have another outlet...”

“She has a point,” John said. “I think it’s a good idea, speaking as your agent and your friend.”

Oliver nodded quietly. “I do need to start doing something.” He sat down on the bench taking a long drag of his drink. “But can I fit back into that world?”

“It’s only been what? Just almost two years? You loved baseball,” John said as he sat beside Oliver. “It would be easy to fall back in love with it again.”

“I don’t know man. I have been thinking it over since Felicity brought it up. I don’t want to fool myself into thinking I can pull it off.”

“You’re still in shape...”

“Not game shape though,” Oliver countered. There was a difference between being healthy and being ready for an intense season of baseball play. “I am nowhere near ready.”

“Not for this year, but next year. You can get a head start if you start preparing now,” John said. “Focus, get your body and mind right. You’re still young, you could do some major damage out there.”

“I’ll keep thinking on it. And talk to Felicity and my family about it some more before I make my final decision.”

“How is Felicity dealing with things? Anything new?”

“No memories yet, but she did have this bad dream the other night and I can tell it really spooked her. She hasn’t talked about it much, and she says she’s fine, but...” Oliver shook his head and shrugged. 

“You don’t want to push her,” John said. 

Oliver nodded. “Finding that balance of overprotectiveness and just being there is still proving to be a little hard for me,” he said. “We’ve been doing so good lately, I don’t want to jinx things with her.” Oliver smiled like a child talking about the girl he had a school grade crush on. 

“Just take it one day at a time my friend,” John said. “You can’t overthink it. Just have to let things flow like you’ve been doing and maybe some more of those kisses are in your future,” he said with a knowing smirk. 

“I didn’t even say anything,” Oliver laughed. “How could you have possibly known?”

“Because I’m John Diggle,” John shrugged simply. 

“Also, it was just one...well two, including this morning. Two kisses. Baby steps,” Oliver grinned. 

* * *

 “Another refill miss?”

Felicity looked up at the friendly barista that took her order just fifteen minutes ago. She smiled and shook her head declining her offer. “No, thank you. Can I get a water instead?”

She’d already had two cups of coffee, three would be pushing it. Caffeine and her haywire nerves would spell disaster. She was nervous, super nervous. In about ten minutes, Moira Queen would walk through that door and they would sit down for a talk. Her mother in law. It felt weird and a bit strange. 

After talking with Oliver, Felicity decided to reach out to her extended family. It was time to reacquaint herself with her in laws. Felicity hadn’t laid eyes on Moira since the day she saw her in the hospital thinking she was her boss. Now she would sit across from her knowing that this woman of great stature was her mother in law. 

Just as the young lady returned with her water, Moira walked through the door and headed towards them. 

“Can I get you started on something ma’am,” the barista asked. 

“I’ll have a skinny cinnamon dolce latte. Thank you.”

Moira took her jacket off draping it over the chair. She looked to Felicity with a warm smile. “It’s so good to see you, Felicity.”

Felicity stood up and hugged the older woman. “Good to see you too,” she replied. “Thank you for agreeing to see me today.”

“No, thank you. And thanks for agreeing to the change of plans.” Moira said affectionately squeezing Felicity. “Thea is sorry she had a last minute work emergency, but she will be meeting us at the mall and for lunch afterwards. Although, I am glad that this gives us a chance to talk alone.”

Felicity smiled with a nod. “Agreed.”

“You look well,” Moira said as they both sat down. 

“Thank you,” Felicity said. “You look as good as I always remembered.”

It still felt surreal that the woman Felicity declared as QC’s HBIC was her mother in law. A woman that left many people quaking in their heels and loafers with one gaze alone. This woman was someone who she got to know on an intimate level.

“I don’t think there was ever a time I saw you with a curl out of place or a wrinkle anywhere.”

“Trust me,” Moira laughed. “It takes some work to maintain the appearance,” she joked. 

The barista returned with Moira’s order. Quietness entered their place as Moira tended to her coffee adjusting it to her taste. Felicity sat quietly watching her not knowing how to kick start the conversation. She practiced this at home in the mirror, but sitting here, all words and thoughts faltered. 

“Felicity, how have you been?” Moira began the conversation after deeming her coffee ready. She could see Felicity struggling a bit, so she took the initiative. “Oliver keeps us updated, but I wanted to hear from you. How have you truly been?”

Felicity pondered the question before answering. 

“A work in progress,” she said. “Some days are better than others. Some days I don’t think about what happened and some days I do.” She was learning to push through, but some days were still rough on her mentally and she heard those familiar questions in her mind. “And on those days I constantly ask why? Why me? Why me and Oliver of all people?”

Moira nodded as she listened closely. 

“Therapy is helping,” Felicity added. “Talking to someone to properly get out what Oliver and I maybe feeling and not know how to properly articulate.“

“I’m glad. I tried to get Oliver to try therapy while you were gone, but he refused. He never wanted to accept that you were gone and I think therapy would’ve enforced that belief. Luckily for all of us involved, I received that phone call that you were alive and now we’re moving forward.”

“The phone call,” Felicity mentioned. “What did they say exactly?”

“It was someone who recognized who you really were. They called and I had the police contacted, and once it was confirmed we made arrangements to get you right that second. We couldn’t find the person who made the call even though we tried. It was as if they were a good Samaritan and disappeared.”

Felicity’s shoulders sagged. She didn’t remember anything. She remembered waking up in Starling General utterly confused.

“I wish I could remember. Remember anything,” she sighed. 

Moira reached out grabbing Felicity’s hand with a comforting squeeze. “It’s going to come,” she said in a soothing voice. 

“Oliver sort of mentioned how you and I didn’t necessarily get off on the right foot. You weren’t my biggest fan.”

“Guilty as charged,” Moira said. “When I learned that he was dating an employee at the company. I immediately told him to end it. He tried to explain to me that it wasn’t what I was thinking, but I didn’t believe him. I thought that if you were just another woman that would float off into the wind, it would be harder to control the narrative around your break up since you were an employee.”

“Wow,” Felicity said with a low whistle. 

“I was selfishly thinking of the company and myself basically. I had all these what if’s and you and Oliver ending terribly,” she said. “It sounds superficial, but with our family, we had to constantly look out for people who may not have meant the best for us. In our work and personal life.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I looked into you at work. I went to Walter and he sang your praises, and spoke so wonderfully about you, holding you in such high regard that I wasn’t willing to have QC lose you because Oliver saw your pretty face and couldn’t help himself, so I told Oliver to end it.”

“Oh.” That was an aspect Felicity wasn’t expecting. She didn’t factor in Moira seeing the need for her professional talents outweighing the relationship with her son.  It was a great surprise. 

“Oliver, obviously refused. He even threatened to cut me off and stop talking to me if I didn’t calm down about the situation. Said he was going to prove me wrong and that I needed to stay out of his personal life.”

“What did you do,” Felicity asked. She didn’t see Moira Queen backing down without a fight.

“I backed off,” she said to Felicity’s surprise. “I decided to let things play out, reluctantly.”  

“Be honest with me, how long did it take you to accept me. Accept me with Oliver.”

“Three months,” Moira answered. “That’s when I learned that he was in love with you.”

”Three months? No,” Felicity laughed. She shook her head in disbelief. There was no way they fell for each other that quick. Life wasn’t a fairytale and with his history as Moira stayed, she was sure it took Oliver a little longer than three measly months. 

“It’s the honest to god truth,” Moira said. “I witnessed it on a day where Oliver came to pick you up for lunch. I saw the two of you together before you left. The smile on my son’s face and the look in his eyes let me know all I needed to know. He was deep in love.”

Felicity opened her mouth to protest once more, but Moira continued. 

“He might not have known in that moment and you either, but trust me, my son was in love with you and there was no turning back.”

~ 

“Felicity, you and I will have to choose another day to go shopping,” Thea said. “When work decides not to be a pain for me and we can spend the entire day together. 

Felicity pushed her empty plate away from her and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“I may have to tap out on that one,” Moira said. “Today was enough for me,” she looked to Felicity. “We didn’t overwhelm you today did we,” she asked. “We weren’t too much and too soon?”

“No,” Felicity laughed. “I didn’t need rescuing even though Oliver offered.”

Felicity reached for her glass when it was as if something in her snapped.

> _Stuffed in a white A-line wedding dress, Felicity sat on the dressing room floor with a pout that could rival any upset toddler. Outside the locked door, Moira, Thea and her over the moon excited mother waited on her to come out and model the eighth dress she slipped into._
> 
> _Maybe it was wedding planning fatigue, but she was pretty tapped out at the moment. Also, she desperately missed her fiancé. The last week for her and Oliver so far, was hectic. Oliver was busy with baseball while she was trying to get a jumpstart on dress shopping. But being with Moira, Donna and Thea for these consecutive hours proved to be exhausting mentally and physically._
> 
> _Felicity sent Oliver consecutive text messages chronicling her day. She knew she sounded needy, but she needed to vent to someone,_  
>  _So it was Oliver. Even if he couldn’t do anything or physically be there, texting him made her feel better._
> 
> _A knock on the door made her sigh with dread. “I’ll be out in a minute,” she reluctantly yelled at the door. With an huff, she pushed herself up gathering the skirt of the dress in her hands. Just as she was about to start grumbling, the voice at the door called out to her._
> 
> _“Felicity, it’s me.”_
> 
> _Felicity froze as her eyes widened. Almost tripping over her feet and skirt, she practically ran to the door yanking it open as soon as the lock clicked._
> 
> _“Hey baby.” Oliver stood there with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. "Need rescuing?"_
> 
> _Launching herself into him, Felicity wrapped herself around Oliver kissing him. “Come on.” She roughly pulled Oliver inside shutting the door and locking it before anyone else could grace the door._
> 
> _“They’re gone to find food. I told them to give us some time alone,” Oliver laughed. “Are you...” As Oliver turned around, he finally got the chance to really see Felicity. He instantly went quiet at the sight of her._
> 
> _Seeing her in a wedding dress was breathtaking. She looked as beautiful as he’d ever seen her. “You look beautiful,” he said in awe. “Wow.”_
> 
> _“This isn’t the dress I’m wearing,” Felicity quickly said. They did not need any bad luck before their big day happening. “But thank you. Even if I’m not a fan of this one.” The dress was far too traditional for her taste. “Can you help me out of it?”_
> 
> _Oliver stepped up to Felicity telling her to turn around. He began working on the fastenings of the gown._
> 
> _“I didn’t expect you to drop everything and come to me,” Felicity said. “That wasn’t my intention.”_
> 
> _“You needed me, so there wasn’t really a choice to make. I love you.”_
> 
> _Felicity stepped out of the dress placing it back on the hanger before turning back to Oliver. “I know I sounded whiny and ungrateful...”_
> 
> _“Ungrateful how,” Oliver asked._
> 
> _“Because I’ve had all the help I could need or want during this wedding planning without asking. Your mom and sister have both been amazing. My mom is...well she’s my mom... I have the world basically at my fingertips, but today was just rough.”_
> 
> _Oliver could see where Felicity was coming from. He hadn’t done as much planning as Felicity, but even the portion he was involved in was stressful. Any sane person would need a break. And he knew Felicity. She didn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings, so he knew Felicity would suffer through the day without saying anything to them. That’s why he decided to come rescue her. He would get her out if there got the day and take her home to relax._
> 
> _Oliver cupped Felicity’s face as she kept talking. Not saying a word, he brought her lips to his silencing her rambling with a kiss._
> 
> _Felicity pulled back with a content smile. “I like when you do that,” she whispered. “It makes me forget about all my worries.” Resting against Oliver, she sighed happily feeling his arms wrap around her._
> 
> _Oliver missed Felicity. Seeing each other in passing for a week was not nearly enough for him. Not to mention his body craved his fiancée. And to see her standing before him in a bra and panty set reminded him just how long it had been since they were last intimate._
> 
> _“So,” he began in a quiet tone after swaying together for some time. “We’re alone and the door is locked. There aren’t any cameras in here are there?” He looked around briefly until he felt Felicity’s hands on him. She looked in his eyes with the same heated glint as his. They were both thinking the same thing._
> 
> _“I’m pretty sure that’s a violation of so many things,” Felicity said in the midst of undoing Oliver’s pants. “We’re going to go with no and assume I’m right.”_
> 
> _“Good logic,” Oliver nodded in agreement. He lifted Felicity up walking them backwards into one of shelves against the wall that was low enough for him to sit Felicity on._
> 
> _Felicity barely had time to think before Oliver had her panties off, his pants down at his ankles and buried deep inside her in a span of a few minutes._
> 
> _Angling her hips, Felicity gave Oliver the needed room to go deeper as she brought her legs up around his waist. “Words can’t describe how much I missed you,” she whispered. “I love you.”_
> 
> _“I love you too,” Oliver replied with a light chuckle.  He jerked his hips and Felicity’s head fell back while she gripped onto the wood beneath her that she was seated on. Her mouth fell open, but before a peep could come out, Oliver kissed her lips swallowing her cries of pleasure muffling the sounds attempting to not draw attention to themselves._

“Felicity...”

“Felicity, are you okay?”

Snapping out of it, Felicity looked to see Moira and Thea staring at her with concerned eyes. “Yes, I uh...” She closed her eyes desperately trying to call back on the memory she lost. “

“I promise everything is fine, I just...” She quickly grabbed her things gathering them as she stood up. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

Thea stood with Felicity reaching out to her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“This wasn’t too much for you, was it,” Moira asked from her seat. 

“No,” Felicity answered as she sought out her keys. She could feel Moira and Thea watching her with their concern growing. “I promise, I’m alright,” she said hoping to ease their premature worries. “It’s just... I remembered that there’s something I need to talk to Oliver about. It’s very important.” She finished gathering her things and practically ran out the door. 

It was as if Felicity floated back to the loft. She ran inside as soon as she got it open. The sound of her shoving the key roughly into the lock while fighting with the door must’ve alerted Oliver because as she walked in, Oliver was barreling down the stairs. 

“Felicity! Are you okay?”

Felicity collided with Oliver as she began to explain what was going on. At least she tried to. Words failed to come as Oliver stared. 

“Felicity,” he called her name once more. He grabbed her shoulders attempting to settle her on her feet. “What’s going on...”

“You love me,” she said. 

“I... I do, but I’m sorry, I’m still a bit confused and a little frightened at the moment.”

“I had a memory,” she yelled. “I mean I remembered something and the most important thing is that you really do love me...”

Oliver couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Really,” he breathed out in disbelief. “What was it?”

“During wedding planning, I was having a meltdown in a dressing room about being about with your mother, sister and my mother. I texted you like fifty times and you came to rescue and comfort me,” she summarized. 

Oliver remembered that moment vividly. He could see it playing out right now. And now, it was Oliver’s turn to stutter and speak in incomplete phrases. “You remember,” he breathed out. “You actually remember something.

“I do,” Felicity tearfully nodded. “It felt so real as if I was experiencing it all over again. Noting like the haze kiss, this was real. Just like us being in love is real. 

“I think with seeing your mom and sister today, going shopping and...this memory just came rushing back and... And your love for me was so apparent. I could feel it, and I welcomed it. Even though I found myself falling for you, it’s great to know that I love you and you love me, just as everyone has stated...”

Felicity’s words were cut off when Oliver cupped her face bringing her lips to meet hers in a rushed and heated kiss. It took a few seconds for Felicity’s shock to wear off, but only seconds. She wrapped her arms around Oliver’s neck pulling him closer. 

Opening her mouth, she gave Oliver the green light to slip his tongue inside. Felicity’s tightened her hold on Oliver, scratching at the back of his head with her nails. letting Oliver’s tongues slip through  her lips. 

Oliver dipped her slightly and they kissed until they were both breathless and speechless until Felicity spoke those three words that held so much weigh, but she would use them to keep her and Oliver moving forward even more. Together. 

“I love you,” Felicity said. 

“I love you too,” he whispered. 

Pushing herself up on her tiptoes, she wanted to kiss Oliver once more, but stopped short when a question entered her mind. 

“Oliver?”

“Yes?”

“Did we really have sex in a dressing room?”

Raising and eyebrow, Oliver looked to Felicity only able to laugh in response. Felicity bowed her head into Oliver’s chest with her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of the memory Felicity remembered???


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver worries that Felicity isn't sleeping. Oliver and Felicity venture out for their first public event since her return.

 

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.

\- The Notebook

* * *

The feel of a sudden weight next to her jolted Felicity awake. Cracking her eyes open, she found Oliver sitting next to her with his hand resting atop of her hip looking down at her. 

Taking a second to come to herself, she realized she’d fallen asleep on the couch. Her notebook, tablet, phone and paperwork was scattered around her and on the floor. 

“Hey,” Oliver spoke softly. He leaned down kissing the top of her head. 

Last thing Felicity remembered was going through her old business plans for Smoak Technologies. She was still trying to figure out the best way to jump back into her work. Sleep must’ve heavily came crashing down on her if she didn’t even remember falling asleep. Looking over, Butterscotch was fast asleep as well. 

“Hey.” Felicity pushed herself upright. Turning slightly, to meet Oliver’s lips in a quick kiss. “How long have you been back,” she asked him. 

“Not long,” he answered. “But long enough to find you snoring underneath a pile of work.” Oliver laughed to himself quietly because the image he walked in on was something that greeted him many times during the early part of their relationship. He would come in from practice or the gym to find her sound asleep. 

Felicity peeled herself from under her work pile. She stood with a slow stretch popping her back attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes. She yawned again, feeling exhausted. 

Oliver watched Felicity. He had been worried about Felicity since the night she had her major nightmare scare. Even though they made strides, the two of them still weren’t sleeping in the same bed at night. Felicity wasn’t ready for that and Oliver didn’t push her. 

“Sit with me for a moment,” he reached out towards her. “Please.”

Felicity took Oliver’s hand and her body drifted towards him until she was seated in his lap. Oliver wrapped his arms around her slender waist pulling her a bit closer. Felicity draped her arm over him letting her hand graze the back of his head. 

“We used to sit like this a lot,” Oliver said before he knew it. “Just you and me...talking about the day we had. Catching up with one another after not seeing each other for hours.”

Felicity smiled softly at Oliver’s words. She wanted nothing more to remember everything Oliver alluded to. As nice as this moment was, Felicity could tell something was on his mind. “What is it,” she prodded him.

“Are you okay,” Oliver finally asked her. “Don’t get me wrong, but you look as if you went ten rounds in the gym yourself.”

Felicity laughed to herself. “I would be offended by that, but I’m too tired to even get upset.”

“I’m being serious here. Are you sure you’re doing alright? You’ve been tired a lot lately. And I think it’s a lot more than the normal tiredness.”

Felicity looked toward Oliver. “Is there a tiredness other than normal?”

“I mean...yeah.” Locking his hands at her waist, Oliver rubbed his thumb across the curve of Felicity’s hip. “Are you having any more trouble sleeping at night?”

“Oliver, I’m fine. I promise.”

Oliver noticed the way Felicity dodged his question with her answer. Oliver brought his hand up brushing Felicity’s messy hair out of her face. He tucked her wild curls behind her ear while leaning in to kiss her cheek softly. “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he whispered. 

Felicity closed her eyes leaning into Oliver’s hand. The intimacy between them now, she welcomed with no hesitation. A light touch on her cheek, kisses on the lips or forehead, a gentle grab of her shoulder. It all felt amazing. 

“I’m fine,” she tried to reassure Oliver. She also tried to reassure herself. Sleeping peacefully at night was still proving difficult thanks to that recurring dream of hers. They weren’t as volatile as the first one she had, but things still jolted her a bit. There was one recurring theme throughout them all, she felt trapped. 

Leaning into Oliver’s comfort, Felicity snuggled closer to him. “Can I ask you something sort of weird? Not weird really, more so random.”

Oliver nodded. 

“Did we ever discuss kids,” she asked. “Did we want to start a family?”

Oliver’s movements ceased. His fingers stopped the smooth rhythmic stroking it settled into at her hips. 

“Yes. We talked about it,” he answered. “But we both said that we would give ourselves some time to enjoy being newlyweds and make strides with our career before we started trying,” Oliver continued. “Also, we wanted to time it right. I was very adamant about you not being stuck at home with our newborn while I was on the road or in the middle of the season.”

“Really,” Felicity smiled. 

“Yes. We had a thought out plan,” he smiled back. “Why do you ask?”

“I think I may have had another memory,” she told him. Felicity looked at Oliver and saw the hopefulness in his face. She hated the way she always had to say maybe because she wasn’t sure if the memories were real or hopeful instances on her behalf. “This memory of you asking me if I was pregnant and offering to buy a pregnancy test.”

Oliver laughed heartily. “Yeah that happened.” He laughed again remembering the chain of events that happened when he thought Felicity was pregnant. “You were stressed out, tired and not acting like yourself,” Oliver said. “So one day I was talking about it to Tommy, and he suggested that you may be pregnant.”

“Tommy?”

“Yeah,” Oliver repeated his name with a laugh. “Not the most reliable source, but it made sense and there was definitely a pretty good chance,” Oliver said.

“You thought I was pregnant and you asked Tommy.” Felicity laughed loudly as Oliver sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. “Why not ask John, or you know, the one who actually had experience, Lyla.”

“Because that would’ve made too much sense,” he laughed again. “I was a guy thinking my fiancée was carrying our child, so I was freaking out a bit. Anyway false alarm. Turns out you were just stressing over starting your company and finding the right place for it. It had you a bit out of whack.”

“Well the same can be said now. I’m just a little stressed over how to properly venture back into corporate America. Put myself back out there, you know.”

“Could be,” Oliver nodded. He agreed with Felicity’s assessment even if he didn’t completely believe her. “This is nice though,” Oliver said quietly. “Sitting here with you like this.”

“The way we used to be,” Felicity said for Oliver. “I may not remember it all right not, but I know it feels right,” she said. Felicity cupped Oliver face and leaned down resting her nose against his. “This feels right too,” she said. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him as Oliver’s hand snaked up her back holding her close returning her kiss.

~

“Felicity, are you okay?” 

Felicity and Oliver were at the Queen residence for dinner, an occurrence of late that she enjoyed a lot. Felicity felt the yawn coming, but couldn’t stop it. She looked towards Moira as she failed at stifling a yawn. “Yes,” she said. “Just a little tired from earlier. Brainstorming and I started reaching out to some of the names I found in my notes.”

She felt Oliver’s watchful eyes on her as she gave Moira the same generic answer she’d given him earlier. 

“Oh, that’s right. Oliver mentioned you began working again. I’m glad to see you’re feeling confident enough to get your career going again,” Moira said. “The world deserves your brain power. It was gone far too long.”

“Agreed,” Robert added. “Whatever you decide to do, you have our support 100 percent.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I really appreciate it,” she smiled. “I also appreciate all the support and patience you guys have shown and given me during this time as well. You’ve all made the process a little bit better and I couldn’t be more thankful.”

“You don’t have to thanks us,” Moira said waving off Felicity’s kind words. 

“Yes, it’s what families do,” Thea added. 

Felicity looked to Oliver who remained quiet pushing his food around in his plate. 

“Are you going to tell them about your news,” she asked. “Go ahead,” she encouraged him. His news was one of the main reasons they came over for dinner. 

“What is it,” Robert asked. 

Oliver took a sip of water and cleared his. “I’ve decided to give baseball another try,” he announced. 

Moira’s eyes widened with shock. “Really? That’s surprising, but good news.”

“What brought this on,” Robert asked. 

“It’s time for me to get back out into the world,” Oliver started. “I think I have a pretty good shot at being decent again. I’ve slowly began training, and I’m feeling good. Oliver reached over grabbing Felicity’s hand in his. “And Felicity’s encouragement helped a lot.”

Felicity nodded with a small. She was only giving Oliver a sample of what he gave her every day. 

Thea cleared her throat and spoke up with a teasing tone. “I’m glad,” she said. “Because I didn’t want to say anything, but I noticed the pounds you put on. This couldn’t have come at a better time.”

Oliver laughed and discreetly flipped Thea off. “Very funny Speedy,” he said. “I can always fought on you to keep me grounded.”

“Does this mean I’m in charge of spinning your comeback story,” she asked. “Because I’ve been itching to get back into the social media manager role.” There had been offers, but she didn’t feel right taking on that job for anyone other than Oliver. 

“When we get to that stage, we’ll talk for sure,” he said. 

“One more question,” Thea continued. “With these milestones you two are taking, does this mean I can count on the two of you as guests for the QC dinner this weekend?”

Oliver looked to Felicity with an indecisive shrug. He wanted her to make the decision. If she was ready for it, it was a go. “Your choice,” he told her. 

Felicity looked to Thea with a nod. “I think that sounds like a plan,” she said. She and Oliver discussed it in the car on the way over. He knew it would be a topic of discussion especially with Thea handling most of the 

“Felicity, I hope you know what this means,” she said with an excited grin. 

Felicity nodded matching Thea’s smile. 

“Shopping trip,” they both said together.

* * *

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you are tonight?” Oliver’s eyes roamed over Felicity in her thin strapped black dress. Her hair was pulled up showcasing her beautifully made up face. 

Oliver and Felicity stood against the back wall away from the crowd at the QC gala taking a quiet moment to themselves while watching everyone mingle and congregate in the room. 

Felicity giggled like a schoolgirl as Oliver whispered the sentence over and over into her ear. That had been happening a lot with her. Giggling as if she was jolly preteen falling in love for the first time. It wasn’t the first time, but to her it was new. The small memories that she was lucky enough to remember were nice, but the feeling of falling in love again was indescribable.

For the most part, they stay attached to one another throughout the night. Oliver with his hand wrapped low around Felicity’s waist keeping her near. Felicity leaned into Oliver’s touch

“You’re making blush,” she whispered. 

“Blushing looks good on you,” he smiled. Oliver caressed Felicity’s reddening cheeks staring into her eyes. “I’m glad we came out tonight,” he said. “Feels good to have you on my arm at something like this again.”

Felicity took a look around the full ballroom. When she and Oliver first walked in hand and hand, the eyes on them freaked her out a bit. But Oliver was right there with her. He squeezed her hand tighter giving her some of his own strength and she felt renewed. 

“I do have a question,” Felicity said. “Is it normal to be this hungry at these things,” she asked as Oliver laughed amused. “I’m starving. I mean I can only eat so many shrimp puffs.”

Bite sized food and drinking water in an attempt to stave off the hunger while waiting for dinner to be served could only work for so long. She didn’t want to down wine or any other drinks or she would be stumbling before the night was over. 

“I just saw my dad disappear to the back and when that happens usually the food appears right after he emerges.”

Felicity laughed quietly. “Maybe I should be hanging around him instead of you,” she joked. 

“I need to use the restroom, don’t ditch me for my pops while I’m gone.” Oliver leaned down kissing her lips. 

Felicity kissed him back. “No worries,” she winked. “I’ll wait here for you.”

As Oliver walked off to the restroom leaving Felicity to nurse her own glass of water, an unfamiliar woman began making her way over to Felicity. The way she looked at her was as if she was appraising her or preparing to ask something very important.  

“Felicity Smoak-Queen.“ She offered Felicity her hand with a manufactured smile when she stood inches from her. “Susan Williams, pleasure to formally meet you.”

The name instantly triggered something in Felicity. Her face soured and suddenly Felicity saw all the things she read written by this very reporter that trashed her at every turn. 

Felicity looked down at Susan’s outstretched hand and back at her before looking away taking a sip of her drink. “Not sure if I can say the same,” Felicity finally replied. 

Susan withdrew her hand and continued to look at Felicity with a questioning glance. “Be that as it may,” she said. “The public wants to hear from you....”

“A statement has already been made,” Felicity cut her off. “We have nothing more to add.” She and Oliver released a statement last week in anticipation of their upcoming outing. It was simple, to the point, and asked for continued respect and privacy from everyone. More importantly the media, but it seemed as if that particular passage escaped Susan. 

“Oh please,” Susan laughed. Her laugh sounded more like a bird cawing and Felicity knew why Thea called her a vulture now. “The generic statement that you can copy and paste from practically any famous person. That’s not real and gritty enough,” Susan continued. 

Felicity laughed in response. Susan Williams was nothing more than someone who got lucky to find a group of people that fed off negativity as much as she did. She wouldn’t last one day in the real journalism world. “You almost sound as if you’re a real journalist,” she continued to laugh. “I know better though.”

“I’m just simply letting you in on what’s already being said. Everyone wants to know what happened. There’s a story here. I know there is. I’m offering you an exclusive. I’m sure you would love to get a head start on things before rumors run wild.”

Felicity scoffed and finally looked towards Susan again. “You mean rumors that you would start, I assume,” she threw back at her. “Why do you care so much about a gold digging slut returning. It was good riddance, right,” Felicity asked throwing Susan’s words back at her. “Go find someone else’s life to mooch off of. You’re not about to use me to get your big break into the legitimate newsroom.”

Before Susan could respond, Felicity saw Oliver quickly making his way back over. Anger was etched across his face and his moves were determined as he quickly eliminated the distance between them.

As soon as he was on them, Oliver grabbed Felicity immediately placing her behind him. He stood between Felicity and Susan practically shielding Felicity’s body with his. She had to step over a couple of inches to even be able to catch a glimpse of her reaction. Her face now had a slight annoyance at the fact that she was caught in the act. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing,” Oliver roared. “You don’t get to talk to her. Ever!”

Susan was a bit startled by Oliver’s voice and the way it rose. Stepping back, she raised her hands as if she completely innocent. “I was simply...”

Oliver might’ve asked her a question, but a response was not needed for him. “Do you know what kind of hell you put us through? Put her through? You do, but you don’t care because you are a money hungry...”

“Oliver...” Felicity placed her hand on his arm trying to grab his attention and calm him before guests could start to look, but he was undeterred. 

“You’re an evil and money hungry 

“Baby,” she said. Turning in front of him, she managed to get Oliver to finally look at her for a moment and she took this as her only opportunity. “Let’s not make a scene.” She glanced over at Susan with a roll of her eyes. “I think it would give her the reaction she’s looking for.”

It took a couple of long beats, but Oliver finally calmed. His breathing normalized and he unclenched his fists. Taking a deep sigh to collect himself, he checked on Felicity. “Are you okay?”

Felicity nodded. “I’m fine.”

One by one, Robert, Moira and Thea made their way over to see what the commotion was. Each one of them took notice of Susan and anger quickly overtook the confusion on their face. Robert, Moira and Thea made their way over as

Oliver turned to Susan, who now stood with her arms crossed. “What the hell are you even doing here,” he asked. “You’re not on the guest list.”

“The invitation said plus one,” she retorted. Susan knew when wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms to QC, so she found some gullible guy with an entry level job, smiled at him the right way and became his guest for the occasion. A simple way to maneuver the circumstances. “Maybe you should rethink the fine print.”

“I guess next time, we should say no animals allowed and then maybe you’ll get the memo,” Thea retorted with full on snark. 

“I’ll handle it,” Robert spoke telling Oliver to take a step back. He motioned towards the door signaling for security. “Ma’am, we will need you to vacate the premises,” he said firmly. 

Robert tried to be a gentleman, but Moira Queen was a completely different story. The Moira Queen Felicity remembered hearing tales about showed up and she did not disappoint. 

“I don’t know what rat infested hole you crawled out from, but I suggest you return to the gutter from which you came,” she said. “If I ever see you gracing the doorstep that had even the smallest of ties to QC, I will have you arrested for trespassing and that little thing you call a career will be over in the blink of an eye.”

Thea walked up to her snatching the glass from her hand. “I’ll take that.” The liquid sloshed around with some of it splashing onto Susan. 

Security made it over and waited patiently for instructions. “Please escort Miss Williams here off the property.”

“Are you okay,” Oliver asked as Susan was shown the door. 

“Yes, I’m okay,” she reassured him. “I think I need something a lot stronger than water now though.” She tucked one of her curls behind her ear trying to make sense of what had just happened. 

Oliver looked at his parents and sisters signaling that he wanted a moment alone with Felicity. He ran his hands down her arms trying to comfort her. 

“Hey, you don’t have to do that,” Oliver said. “Make a joke or make light of what you’re feeling. You can always be honest with me.”

Felicity sighed dropping the facade. “Would I have preferred to not see the woman who implied that I got to where I am on my back? Yes.”

“Do you want to go home,” Oliver asked. “We can ditch this, grab burgers and go back to Butterscotch.”

“No...no Oliver.” She shook her head. “Tonight was about us and about getting back into the groove of things we used to do. I’m not going to let some pathetic woman ruin that for us.”

“You sure...”

“I’m sure,” she nodded. “Now let’s eat dinner and see what else the night brings.”

~

“I think now is a good enough time to get the pictures out of the way. Let’s go shall we.” Moira presented the command and walked off waiting on the others to follow her. 

“We don’t have to,” Oliver said from his seat. Taking pictures had always been his least favorite portion of evenings like this.

“I want to,” she said. “Family pictures are nice.” Felicity slipped her hand into Oliver’s as he led them over to the platform where they would stand to take the designated family pictures. She situated herself in front of Oliver as his hands fell to her hips. 

Smoothing her hand across her dress, she made sure there wasn’t a wrinkle. Turning to Oliver, she straightened his tie for him with a smile. 

“Thanks,” he whispered meeting Felicity’s lips for a quick peck. 

Robert, Moira and finally Thea with a reluctant Roy in tow, took their spots. The photographer called all of their attention facing front.

The first flash of the camera went off and a beautiful picture was captured. A couple more followed and then Felicity started to feel off. 

She blinked once trying to regain herself and it worked for a minute. Long enough for her to paint on another smile and continue posing next to Oliver. 

The photographer began calling out different commands for them to follow and cues to take. Felicity desperately tried to stay in tune, but slowly she was sinking. 

The flashes kept going and it sent off a trickle of side effects. Her head instantly began aching with her temples throbbing. Her vision became hazy and it was as if the sounds around her were isolated but somehow loud. 

Images began to dance across her vision of bright lights, indistinguishable voices, long menacing hallways that led to isolated and dark rooms. Unrecognizable faces flashed in and out and Felicity struggled to remember where she was currently at. If her dream was real or not. 

It was a scene ripped from a thriller movie. Suddenly it felt as if this giant weight was on her chest crushing her and holding her down. Nausea washed over her making her feel sick to the stomach. Her body felt sticky and sweaty suddenly. 

Oliver felt Felicity’s squeeze his hand in a death grip, so turned to check on her and saw that she was shaking like a leaf on a tree. “Felicity,” he called out to her immediately concerned. 

Her eyes bulged and Felicity clutched at her chest clawing at it as if that would somehow make things any better. Everything she was feeling intensified and the weight on her chest moved to her throat as if someone was choking the life out of her. 

The images dancing across her vision became more intense and it felt like she was in the middle of one of her nightmares. The dreams that at times made her jolt awake with a sweat. 

Grabbing at Oliver’s chest, she tried to hold onto to something that would keep her rooted in reality. Trying to grasp onto the one thing that made the most sense to her. 

She thought she was calling out, but her mouth hung agape with no sounds coming from it. 

Thea was the first of the others to turn and notice something was wrong. “Oh my God, Felicity,” she cried out. 

Doubling over, she finally got words to spill from her lips. “I can’t...,” Felicity choked out. “I can’t...I can’t breathe,” she finally choked out. As soon as the words were heard, she began to hyperventilate. 

John looked over and immediately sprang from the table where he was sitting with Lyla. Coming over he used his body to shield what was happening from the photographer. 

Oliver immediately knew she was having a panic attack. He looked to designate his quickest path to get Felicity somewhere quiet, safe and secure. Somewhere away from the loudness of the ballroom and away from wandering eyes. 

“I need to get her out of here,” Oliver said. Just as he spoke, Felicity’s knees buckled and before she could hit the ground, Oliver had her in his arms. He scooped Felicity up bridal style keeping her close to him. “Just hold onto me,” Oliver whispered soothingly in Felicity’s war trying to comfort her. “Hold onto me and everything will be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts are always welcomed! They feed my soul and give me the encouragement to go on. XOXO!


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